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LEE
You’re my best friend too. Let's take some time, but keep texting?
EM
If that’s what you want to do. You know where I stand.
LEE
Okay, I will think about it.
EM
Thank you. I’m going to go back to sleep now because I feel like I’m dying.
LEE
Sleep well, Emmaleigh. Talk soon.
No! My stomach definitely did not do a flip from that. I hate how much I crave hearing from him. I’m falling in love with Lee, and that means I’m really fucked. I can keep telling him my heart isn’t on the line, but we both know it is. Now it’s just a matter of how much damage it will sustain. I hope I walk away from this with a few little pieces still intact. Either way, I know for sure that a piece of my heart will always belong to Lee, I just hope he looks after it.
CHAPTERSIXTEEN
LEE
It’s been two weeks—two long fucking weeks—since that fucking awful weekend with Emmaleigh. Which means it’s been almost three weeks since I last saw her, and fuck me do I miss her. I feel like a junkie going cold turkey, craving that next fix. My skin itches, and it’s like I can’t settle. I’m constantly looking at my phone wondering if she’s texted me or not.
I’m not someone who uses social media, but for the last two weeks I’ve been stalking Em’s accounts so much I’m about a day away from a restraining order.
Since I asked her for some space, she’s been great and has done just that. She’s never the first to text me, and only responds to what I message her about. But it all just feels wrong. I miss her. I miss the way we used to talk, and the banter we had together. I know I asked for this, but I don’t want it to be like this any more. I just don’t know what the hell to do. Because as much as I miss her, I can’t give Em what she wants.
“Earth to Lee, are you even listening to a word I said?” Craig snaps, as he wafts his hand in front of my face. I have no idea how long he’s been doing that, but it’s further proof I’ve been zoning out on him.
I invited Craig over here to distract me, and he’s doing a fucking great job. I’m sitting in my gaming chair, while Craig is sprawled out on my bed like it’s his own. He’s playing on some racing game he brought over, that he knows I have zero interest in. I’m pretending to watch, waiting for it to be my turn next, but in reality I’m staring at the blank screen on my phone. I know she’s not going to text me, but I want her to.
I turn my attention to Craig, but he’s already back to staring at the screen. “Sorry, mate. Just a bit distracted.”
“Is it the naughty nurse?” he chuckles, as he aims a less than discreet wink my way. I fucking hate it when he calls her that.
“Don’t call her that, and yes, it is,” I growl, my eyes zeroing in on him, but he doesn’t seem to care.
“I don’t understand you. You say you don’t want to date her, and you ask her for space. She tells you she’s happy to continue just fucking, but agrees to give you time. And you’re sitting here pining for her like a love sick puppy. You clearly miss her, so all you need to do is decide whether you want to go back to just fucking her, or whether you’re finally ready to commit. Either way, she’s happy to go with the flow. She’s the perfect fucking girl for you, but you’re ruining it,” he snaps, rolling his eyes at me as he throws down the gaming controller, pissed his car just got totalled as he ran it into a wall.
“It’s not as fucking simple as you’re making it out to be. And I’m not pining like a fucking love sick puppy,” I shout, my hands scrunching together into fists as anger begins to pump through my veins.
Craig, the typical asshole that he is, just chuckles. “It really is simple. You miss her, but you don’t have to. She’s said she’s basically willing to do whatever you want, and you still haven’t said yes.”
“I don’t want her to get hurt,” I shout, and my best friend throws his legs over the side of the bed, sitting up so he’s facing me. Suddenly, he looks serious, which isn’t something I’m used to seeing on the face of my easy-going, carefree friend.
“So, date her then.” His words sound almost like a dare, and I know he’s trying to wind me up. He’s been pestering me for a while, trying to get me to tell him why I don’t want a relationship, yet I’ve worked so hard to find a girl. I know it’s confusing, but I have my reasons, they’re just not ones I plan on sharing any time soon.
“Don’t start,” I warn, but he just shrugs his shoulders, baiting me further.
“Don’t start what? It’s clear you like her, so why won’t you date her? You are both fucking unhappy right now, and it’s all your fault.”
His words hit me right in the chest like he’s just stabbed me. I know I like Em, of course I do. But I’ve made it very clear, to everyone that will listen, when I say I don’t want a relationship. I know I’m the reason we’re both hurting right now, but that’s part of the reason I don’t want to drag this out further. We will only both get more hurt. I can’t ever see my rationale changing.
“Fuck you!” I shout, pushing up from my gaming chair, as I start to pace around my bedroom, suddenly feeling very much like a caged animal. The antsy feeling I already had over missing Emmaleigh, combined with my anger is making me a little volatile right now, and Craig knows exactly what buttons to press to wind me up even further.
