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“I think you made the right choice.”
“I know I did. I wanted to come back when she was eighteen, that was my plan. But Ford sent me to Brazil. Maybe he did that on purpose because he wanted Ellen to have a little bit more time to grow. I don’t know.”
“Knowing Ford, that’s certainly possible,” Tadgh agreed.
Travis paused, and took a breath. He couldn’t tell anything by looking at Tadgh’s face. Not about what he was thinking, not about what he was going to say. So he plunged ahead. Feeling more nervous then he would have if he were brokering a multimillion dollar business deal.
“I promise you. I never touched her. I wanted to,” and his fingers tightened at the memory. He clenched them into fists in his pocket. “I really did. But, it wouldn’t have been right.” He wanted credit for that. But maybe that didn’t mean anything to Tadgh, or maybe Tadgh expected it, and would have accepted no less. Regardless, it hadn't been the way Travis had been raised to act, and walking away from Ellen had been the most difficult thing he’d ever done. “We were friends. She wrote to me. I’m sure you probably knew that.”
“I did.”
“We talked on the phone occasionally, but I never told her how I felt. I never knew how she felt. Just that she agreed to be my friend, and that had to be enough until the time came for more.”
“I see.”
“I’m back to stay. Back in Sweet Water. I know that if you look at me, look at where I came from, look at my parents, my mom, if you use that to judge what kind of man I might be, you wouldn’t think that I was going to amount to much.” Tadgh’s lips stayed pressed close, but he lifted his chin acknowledging Travis’s words.
“But I think I’ve used that to learn. To teach myself what I didn’t want to be. To try to pick up traits that are opposite from what I was raised with.”
Tadgh didn’t say anything, Travis wasn’t sure whether he should stay silent for a bit, and see if the man had something to say, or just finish what had turned out to be quite a speech. Considering he hadn’t planned on talking long at all. But he felt like he needed to make his case. Felt like he needed to have some kind of argument in favor of himself. But he had to be honest too.
“The last few weeks as I’ve been taking care of Alice, I realized that... I don’t think I’ll ever look at a boy and think that he was good enough for my daughter. Certainly I wouldn't think that anyone would look at me and think that I was good enough. The only thing I can say is, God loves me. And I’m going to do my best to please Him. And I’d like to do that with Ellen beside me. Sir, I’m asking for your permission to spend time with your daughter with the intention of marrying her if she’ll have me.”
He held his breath, meeting Tadgh’s eyes, and waiting. Every second that ticked by felt like an eternity was tucked inside.
A bird chirped and fluttered in the bush beside the house, while another one flapped overhead and the wind stirred the grass, making a swishing sound that wasn’t nearly loud enough to drown out the beating of his heart.
Say something.
“I’d heard that you had a baby dropped off. Probably like the rest of the state. A town like Sweet Water can be depended on to spread gossip the way small towns do.”
A ghost of a smile crossed Tadgh’s face, before he became serious once more.
“You’re right about where you came from. But you’re family, too. Ford and I spent more than one evening discussing how we could help. We would often say to each other that you can offer to help, but if you reach out a hand, the person you’re trying to help needs to reach up and clasp it back. You’ve certainly done that.”
Travis swallowed. This didn’t feel good.
“You’re right about how protective I feel toward Ellen too. Her father was my brother, and I loved her. I promised I would do my best to raise Ellen. She practically raised herself. But I do feel protective of her. And I can’t help but be a little proud of the woman she’s become. Maybe not successful in the world’s eyes, but I do believe God will tell her ‘well done thou good and faithful servant,’ and that’s what she should be living for anyway.”
“I agree.”
Tadgh simply jerked his head in acknowledgment of Travis’s words and continued speaking.
“I didn’t know you loved her back when you guys were so young. I would have...tried harder to keep you apart. I figured she was young, and you were a little more versed in the ways of the world, plus I thought you had your eyes on a cheerleader at school.”
“She blinded me for a bit.” He couldn’t deny it.
“But there was no substance there. I think you figured that out.”
“I did.”
“That’s good, because some men never do. Some men are always drawn to fool’s gold, and never understand that there is no value there.”
Travis didn’t say anything. He might have been fooled at one time. He probably could still be fooled again, but not by that. Not by someone who didn’t have the heart that Ellen did. The compassion, the character. The loyalty. That was probably what got him more than anything. She had stuck with him, no matter what he had done. He loved that, and at the same time, he knew he owed her, because he hadn’t been as loyal. Not at first anyway.
“Ford kept me informed of your progress, the things you’ve done, and you probably don’t know about that.”
“No. I didn’t.”
