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“I’ll see you later,” Grant says, coming up behind me. “I’ll be working late, so don’t wait up for me.”

I nod and watch him walk off to his car and drive away, leaving me standing there in my pajamas and an upset stomach.

I sigh and walk back into the house. Perhaps, I ought to shower and get some food in me. Maybe I’ll feel better once I have some breakfast.

I jog up the stairs to my room, and a thought hits me. When was the last time I had my period?

With everything happening, I don’t really think I’ve been keeping track.

Picking up my phone, I

open my period tracking up.

Shit!

I’ve missed a bunch of notifications from my period app. I was supposed to have started weeks ago.

An icy feeling comes over me as I think about my nausea.Oh…oh, no.

I’ve never used protection with Grant. I should have, but…but it’s all been so spontaneous. Most of the time, it’s under the cover at night, but once or twice, he’s come to me while I was in the kitchen or the living room…

Who am I kidding? None of that is an excuse. I’ve been careless with him and now…

I hurry to my closet and grab a pair of jeans.

I need a pregnancy test. Now.

***

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, motherfuck…

I’m sitting on the toilet in my bathroom, looking at the three tests I bought. Three different tests showing in three different ways that I’m pregnant.

I cover my mouth, stifling a scream. What the hell am I going to do? I can’t tell Grant. That’s for sure. But…but I can’t hide this forever.

I look down at my tummy. Flat as a pancake for now, but in a few months…

Grant’s not going to want to be a father. He’s in his thirties. He has a career. There’s no way he’s going to want to slow down for a life with a baby.

My hands start shaking as I ponder about the possibility of having to tell him. I don’t think I can bear hearing him reject me for carrying his child.

My eyes start to burn with tears.

“Hello? Aisling? Are you home, love?”

Martha. She’s probably come by with a basket of goodies the way she always does.

I get up and go to the mirror, splashing water on my face.Get yourself together.

I come down the stairs and see her in the kitchen. She’s pouring herself some tea from the pot I made earlier. I walk into the kitchen, and she looks up, a smile on her face…then it melts the second she sees my face.

“Aisling? What is it? Are you all right?”

I open my mouth to tell her that I’m fine. That whatever she sees on my face isn’t what it seems. All that comes out is silenceat first, then a sob, then everything just falls apart as I start to weep.

Martha rushes across the kitchen to me and wraps her arms around me.“Oh, there, there, darling.”

I fall into her arms and just start sobbing into the fabric of her blouse as she rocks me back and forth. She lets me sob for a little while before walking me over to the table and sitting me down.