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I hang up the phone and turn off the engine of my truck as my mother and dog come walking towards me. Pepper’s tail is wagging the entire dog.
“Hi Mom. Hi Pepper.” I bend down and scratch Pepper’s ears.
My mother gives me a huge smile and hugs me. “How are you doing, son? Is that girl okay?”
We stroll into her house and sit in the living room of the house I grew up in. It’s a simple ranch-style house that suited a family of three. My mother hasn’t redecorated since she moved into this house almost thirty years ago and it shows.
“She’s okay now. I took her to breakfast and dropped her off at home. Nothing a bit a rest and a lot of water won’t cure.”
“That’s good. You’re a good boy. I raised you right.” She smiles at me like a mom does.
“Tell me about your date and about Max.” I quickly add, “Only the highlights. I don’t need to know the details.” This is uncharted territory for us, and I want to establish ground rules. I don’t need nor want to know about my mother’s sex life.
Mom blushes, “It’s not like that, Hudson. Max is a gentleman. We went to dinner and then dancing again. We talked about our life and what we like to do for hobbies. Did you know Max and I both shop at the same grocery store? We’ve never seen each other there… well at least that we know of. It’s such a small world, isn’t it?”
She doesn’t let me answer, but keeps going. “Max is a retired fire fighter for your department. Maybe you’ve heard of him? Anyway, he’s never married or had kids. He has a boat, and he’s also a SCUBA instructor and suggested we go snorkeling one day. I’m not SCUBA certified, which is why he suggested snorkeling. That sounds like such fun, doesn’t it?”
The excitement in her voice and on her face is something I’ve not seen before. Since Dad died, it’s been just her and I against the world. She never dated. Instead, she focused on just me. Although I appreciate it more than I can say, I also feel guilty for holding her back.
She’s still talking. “And Max has a boat. Did I say that already? A big one. Maybe one day he’ll invite us to go on it with him. Would you like that, Hudson?” She finally comes up for air.
I smile at her as I feel my heart warming. Nodding, “Yes Mom, I would. It sounds like you like Max a lot.”
She looks away and then back at me. “I do. He’s funny, charming, and we seem to get a long really well.”
“That’s good, Mom. I’m happy to hear that. Now, let me know if he gets handsy or out of line. I’ll take care of him.”
She waves her hand at me, “I’ve taken care of you all these years, I think I can handle myself. Hudson.” She heads to the kitchen, “You look thirsty. Let me get you some water.”
Suddenly, I have to know. “Mom, why haven’t you dated since Dad died?”
She stops in her tracks on the way to the kitchen and turns around and comes back to the living room. “Now, why on earth would you ask me that question?”
I feel like a little kid asking, not the man that I am, “I just want to know if I’ve been holding you back. Seeing you so happy talking about Max, it just occurred to me you’ve never dated since Dad died.”
Mom sits on the couch next to me and takes my hand into both of hers. “Hudson, son, you need to understand that your father and I had a connection that I will never feel again. He was my life. And I was his, until you came along, and then it was the three of us. Your father and I had a connection, a relationship, stronger than I ever thought love could give. Until I had you. He was the one. When he died…” she takes a deep breath and continues, “…when he died, a huge part of me was ripped away. I didn’t know a human could hurt so much. All these years later, I still hurt. But, whenever I looked into my little boy’s face,” she cups my cheek, “I saw the reason your father and I existed. To bring you into the world. And now look at you. You save lives every day. We will never know what repercussions that has had on the world. Our purpose was to make you and once that purpose was completed, it was time for him to go. I don’t understand it, but it was God’s will and so it had to be.”
She sighs, “I don’t want you to ever feel like you’ve held me back. It’s just the opposite. I have grown up with you. We have tackled the world together. This thing with Max is fun and who knows if it will turn into something, but the timing feels right to me. I know I will never feel what I had with your father again, but I never expected to, either. So, I never dated because I had no interest. It was never because of you. Please know that. You are my greatest gift, son. I’m so proud of you.”
I pull her into a hug, “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too, son.”
Pepper barks from the other side of the coffee table and then nudges herself between us. She’s never liked anyone touching my mom. Pepper is very protective of her. I suppose I should have Pepper here at my mother’s house whenever Max comes over. Food for thought.
Mom laughs as she lets me go and hugs Pepper. “I love you, too, Pepperoni.”
I swear that dog is smiling at me. “Pepper. Do you want to go home or stay here with Mom?”
“Bark.”
“Okay, you can come home with me and then come back tomorrow. How’s that?”
“Bark.”
I look at Mom, “Tomorrow’s Father’s Day and one of the guys forgot to take it off and is in big trouble with the family. He just called and begged me to take the first half of his shift tomorrow. You okay taking her until the evening?”
Mom scratches Pepper’s ears, “Of course. But I have another date with Max tomorrow evening. We’re going to the movies.”
