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3
Lizzie
As Saint stands at attention, Gideon reaches down and takes the ring box attached to the bowtie around his neck. He looks so proud as he waits for Janie to tell him it’s okay to start walking again. When she takes her seat in the front row with Saint at her feet, Kendrich begins to playA Thousand Years by Christina Perrion his guitar.The lyrics resonate with everything that I feel for Ephraim and so much more. Tears threaten to break free of my eyes as memories of the people we used to be flash through my mind. Taking a deep breath, I smile and remind myself that today is all about joy and love. Making our way down the aisle, I stare into the eyes of my soon-to-be husband, and my heart soars with gratitude. He has loved me through my pain and continuously anchors me, making sure that I don’t drift too far from the shore. So many times I’ve let the demons from my past drag me into the abyss only for Ephraim to rescue me and make me whole again.
Nearing the altar, a soft cry breaks the trance I was under and as I look to my left, my mother reaches forward to touch me. Her eyes swim with tears as I take her in, knowing in my heart what she’s thinking. In this single, solitary moment, we both long for the years she missed with me as her oldest child. The close bond that was broken because I was taken, the memories we never got to make, and the many firsts we never got to share. Those moments that a mother and daughter have, filled with secrets only they hold. It’s there in every tear falling down her face. Letting go of my father, I go into my mother’s waiting arms as we share a brief moment together. I let her know with my embrace how much I love her, how much I’ve missed her, and that I’m okay. We can’t get back the time that was lost, but we can certainly make new memories that will last us a lifetime.
Taking her handkerchief, she blots away my tears being careful not to smear my makeup. Before she can pull her hand back, I place mine over hers, close my eyes, and relish in the tenderness of her touch. So many times while I was held captive, I longed for the comfort of my mother. Needing her to wipe my tears and hold me until the hurt went away. Looking into her eyes once more, I slowly back away and notice that there’s not a dry eye amongst our guests which causes me to start crying again. Finally reaching the makeshift altar, our officiant asks,
“Who gives this woman to be married to this man?”
With a voice filled with emotion, my father answers, “her mother and I do.”
Removing my hand from the crook of his elbow, my father places it in Ephraim’s outstretched hand and as I look into my soon-to-be husband’s tear-filled eyes, there’s so much love, passion, and devotion there that it’s overwhelming. The depth of our love is one that I will forever cherish and as we stand here, in front of our friends and family, we pledge our love. We prepared our own vows and although I knew that this part of the ceremony would be an emotional rollercoaster, nothing prepared me for what Ephraim had to say.
Ephraim
“Lizzie, you were an unexpected twist of fate that came into my life at a time that I didn’t believe in love. You have changed that for me. The man that I am now couldn’t exist without you in my life. My world is full of light and colors that I never knew existed until you. My life began the moment you said yes to me and your love has changed me into a man that I’m finally proud of. There is no me without you and I plan to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much your love has impacted my life. Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control.”
My breath hitches as I pour out my heart to the love of my life. Emotions fall like rain as I suddenly feel overwhelmed by my surroundings. Our families are witnessing two people who were once broken, pledging our love and devotion to one another. This woman has changed me for the better and I can’t fathom a life without her. Lizzie is everything that I need and more. The nightmares that used to plague me have subsided. They’re so infrequent that I no longer need to see my therapist. She’s given me my life back and I can’t thank her enough. For the first time in my life, I feel worthy of true love. When she told me she was pregnant, I was scared out of my fucking mind. I never imagined being a father, but once Harper started growing in her belly, everything changed. Pride swells in me every time I hold my little nugget in my arms. Her laughter is contagious and she keeps Saint on his toes. They’ve been close since Harper was born and I believe their bond is tight because he watched her come into the world.
That day will forever be embedded in my mind. Saint paced around the bed, whining loudly as Lizzie pushed Harper into the world. When Harper cried, Saint barked, wanting to get to her and Janie had to calm him down until we could show him the baby. As soon as he laid eyes on her, he calmed down and took her in, whimpering with excitement. When the paramedics got there, he didn’t want them to take her, but when they placed Harper in Lizzie’s arms after getting her onto the gurney, he once again calmed down. I love how protective he is and when I go on a run for the club, he knows his job is to watch over my girls until I get back.
When I look into Lizzie’s eyes, all I see is forever. We’ve created this life that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I’m pulled out of my thoughts when I hear Lizzie say my name.
“Ephraim, you loved me when I couldn’t love myself. You taught me that it was okay to have scars and still live. Because of you, I can now dream in color. Seeing things I’ve never seen before and enjoying life in a way that I never thought was possible. Your love has helped me grow to love myself and because of you, I have purpose. Your love filled the holes in my heart and fixed what was once broken. God chose you for me and He knew that you could help me mend what was broken, take care of what was fragile, and share a special kind of love that He knew I needed. From the depths of my soul, I love you with everything that I am. I know from now on that I will be okay because I have you. Happily ever after doesn’t just exist in fairytales because you’ve shown me just how tangible love is. I’ve learned to trust not only others, but also myself and that’s all because of your love for me. So, thank you for choosing me and opening my heart.”
My hands begin to tremble and my palms grow sweaty as Lizzie’s words penetrate me in a way that makes my heart swell. At this moment we are the only two people here, relishing in our love for one another. I’m not embarrassed by the tear she swipes before it could fall. Being a girl dad has softened my edges a little and sometimes my love for them both can be overwhelming. When the preacher man starts to say I may kiss my bride, I’m on her before he completes that sentence. My brothers hoot and holler as I pick my wife up and kiss the living shit out of her. Thunderous applause erupts, but no one else exists right now as we seal our pledge of love for each other. It’s a kiss that says we have each other and will always be there for one another. I’m not much of a religious guy, but I truly believe that a higher power gives us the person who is right for us. The one person that can love you through your hurt and pain or some shit like that.
Turning to face the crowd, the preacher introduces us as Mr. and Mrs. Ephraim Phillips, sealing our fate as one entity from this day forth. I’ve always thought of us this way, but having our family witness what we feel for each other takes it to a whole other level. The sun is setting as we make our way down the aisle toward the tent we had set up for the reception. Tiki torches light the pathway as everyone follows us to celebrate our union. All of our friends and family pitched in to make this day special for us. MoMa and her staff cooked all the food, including dessert and champagne. Eagle, of course, provided a ton of Bardot’s Finest whiskey, and our mothers handled the decorations and flowers. Watching everything unfold has shown me that it’s okay to open yourself up to others. Life can deal a shitty hand, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do everything in your power to make it good. What I feel for Lizzie is exactly what I was scared of, but it also drives me and gives me a peace that I never thought was possible.
4
Ephraim
In the midst of our joy, I couldn’t help but observe the occasional sadness etched on Krack’s and Diggs’ faces. Just as I’m about to escort my bride to the dance floor for another dance, I look up to see them walking in the direction of the large Maple tree that sits on a lower peak of Lightning Ridge. The land is flatter, but you can still see most of Iron Forge just beyond the tree. Locking eyes with Eagle, I lift my chin toward the guys and he knows we need to follow. Kissing Lizzie on the lips, I tell her that I’ll be right back. When she sees Eagle heading in the same direction as the guys, she gives me a knowing smile and lets me go. Grabbing a few fresh beers, I exit the tent and catch up with the guys. Handing them off, we walk in silence as memories from the past echo along the warm breeze.
Memories of a woman that sacrificed her life in order to save Krack and Digger. Charlotte Dillon grew up here in Iron Forge then moved to California and became a big movie star. That life afforded her everything she wanted until she caught the eye of a corrupt cop. He made her life a living hell and so she came back to the one place where she felt safe. She and Digg were old friends and because Krack was his best friend, they all became close. Their relationship, while unorthodox, was very real and they were happy.
That didn’t last long. The asshole found her and waged war on them. He lied to his cop buddies and said that Digg and Krack had kidnapped her, so every precinct were on the lookout for them. When he managed to get his hands on her and hold a gun to her, Digg and Krack were willing to risk their lives to save her. Charlotte didn’t want that. She felt like she caused them a lot of trouble and needed to fix it, so she placed her hand over the asshole’s hand at her throat and pulled the trigger. Within seconds Krack emptied his pistol into the son of a bitch. Nothing prepared them for her sacrifice, but the impact and significance of that moment changed us all. Although the Rebels were in existence long before she arrived back in Iron Forge, her sacrifice exemplified the true heart of the Rebels.
The moon casts enough light along the path as we make our way to the single stone donning the Rebels logo. The news outlets reported her as a missing person, but she’s not. Underneath this ground that is now sacred, Charlotte rests. Her parents were rightfully angry that we took it upon us to bury their daughter, but after we explained the series of events that led to her passing, they agreed to keep her buried here. They had no idea about the things that Charlotte endured in her life, but hearing about her bravery in the end helped them see who she really was. Her lifelong friendship with Digg was a contributing factor to their trust in us and for their protection we all agreed to keep the knowledge of her death within the family. Every year on the anniversary of her death, we all come up to Lightning Ridge and pay tribute to this brave soul. Her parents join us and share stories of her childhood to keep her memory alive.
“I still can’t believe Charlotte pulled that fucking trigger. We would’ve took that fucker out if she had given us a little more time,” Krack says in a voice laced with regret.
“I’ll forever be grateful to her for that,” Holly states as she, Angel, Lizzie, and Mimi, Digger’s old lady, make their way over to us. They all know what transpired that day and have supported us and our feelings for Charlotte. Standing in a semi-circle, Digger raises his beer and utters,
“To Charlotte. An honorary Rebel that made the ultimate sacrifice.”
Raising our bottles, we repeat in unison,
“To Charlotte.”
Lizzie, Holly, Angel, and Mimi stand beside us as we have a moment of silence. Giving us the freedom to mourn our friend. One by one the ladies each lay a flower on Charlotte’s grave as we make our way back to the reception.
5
Lizzie
