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“Probably yes,” Sadie says, leaning a little closer. “But kiss me first?”
“Anytime.” Cupping her jaw, I press my lips to hers in a kiss that starts soft and quickly becomes more desperate. Hungrier.
After our lengthy dinner conversation, this somehow feels different. As though the intimacy of our words has now bled into our kiss, making it richer and deeper. I’m absolutely in new territory here.
We aren’t alone on the pier, so I won’t kiss her the way I’d really like to, but that doesn’t mean I won’t think about it. By the way she’s bunching my shirt in her hands, Sadie’s thinking about it too. I slide my hands over her shoulders, then cradle her face as I deepen the kiss one last time before pulling away.
Sadie bites her lip as I do, her gaze flicking to the side, and I’m overwhelmed by a sudden and hopefully unfounded fear that this might be the last time I kiss her, that I hold her like this. I remember her words at dinner, how it’s inevitable that we’ll hurt the ones we love.
Let’s hope not. At least, let’s hope not for a long, long time.
My fears are probably irrational. But I still don’t know what’s going to happen when we go back to Oakley. I don’t know what comes next, and I think we’ve exhausted our deep emotional conversation for the evening. Talking about what comes next might be one step too far, making Sadie run again.
I know she’s scared.
Hell,I’mscared.
But I’m more scared of losing whatever this is, more scared of losing her.
The rumble of thunder becomes a boom, just as the skies open over us. Sadie squeals, and we’re both laughing as we start to run back to the waiting car. The sour look on German’s face only makes us both laugh harder as we clasp hands.
“I hope this ending of our date doesn’t reflect poorly on me.” I have to shout to be heard over the rain, wind, and thunder. “I distinctly remember ordering clear skies and a warm night.”
“I can’t think of a more perfect ending,” Sadie shouts back, grinning.
Or, I think as we reach the car, completely soaked and still laughing,a more perfect beginning.
FIFTEEN
Ben
“Go fish,”Sadie says with a laugh.
“How do you not have any sevens? You have like forty cards!” Danny groans and draws from the messy pile in the middle.
“I have thirty-seven,” Sadie says loftily, just as thunder booms outside, rattling the cabinets.
She jolts, her shoulder hitting mine. I’m pleased when she doesn’t move away but scoots even closer so we’re pressed together side to side at the counter. Lifting her gaze to mine, she offers me a shy smile. The kind that seems almost surprised to find that it’s me she’s leaning into for comfort.
Me too, Sadie girl.Me too. Surprised—but not the least bit unhappy about it.
The other night, the game of choice was poker. But tonight, John, of all people, suggested we play this children’s card game. Maybe to cut through the tension of the storm, which has worsened since we returned from our date, completely drenched through. To make it more interesting, we’re using fivedecks of cards and requiring completed matches of twenty, not four. I’m honestly not sure there will ever be a winner at this point.
Though it’s less about who wins the game and more about distraction. Personally, I could think of some other fun means of distraction—namely kissing Sadie—but when Leandra invited us to play cards in the galley, Sadie looked too excited for me to say no.
And though I imagined our date ending another way—as in, not with five other people playing a children’s card game in the galley—I love watching Sadie with my crew. Not that I’m surprised. I think I’d love her just about anywhere. But it makes me feel warm and content to see the way she’s folded herself right in with the staff members who have come to mean a whole lot more to me in the past few years. Sadie justfits. With this group, on my boat, in my life—with me.
I swallow, watching the curve of her cheek lift as she smiles. She fits so well that if she decides she doesn’t want this when she returns to Atlanta, it’s going to be like having a piece of my chest carved out and removed.
Which is a worry I’d rather shove away and save for another day. Or never.
John takes a queen from Tao and then sets down a group of twenty while everyone groans.
“Are you sure you’re not cheating?” Tao asks.
“There’s a real problem if I need to cheat at Go Fish to win,” John says.
There’s a sudden pitch to the left and everyone tightens their hold on drinks as a few cards slide right off the counter.
