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But monsters don’t care about tears. They’re hungry for pain to satisfy their pleasure.
And night after night, I gave them that.
I gave them everything I had. And now I’m left with eternal emptiness.
Once upon a time, I dreamed of becoming an oncologist. I wanted to help people get rid of cancer. But instead, I fed the cancer that was my torment. I gave the men power. I gave them everything they wanted. Because I had no choice.
Girls like me had no other options but to submit.
It’s been four months since I was freed by people who hated the Bianchis as much as we did. Jade’s boyfriend, Enzo Cavaleri, andhis brothers destroyed that family. Killed them all.
But recently…
My heart lurches.
Recently, someone started trafficking again in their name. I try not to think about it. Because between that and the murders, I’ll lose my mind.
There’s been a serial killer on the loose. The Midnight Murderer is what they call him, and every day I wonder when they’ll catch him.Ifthey’ll catch him.
But I have to focus on the good things, like reuniting with both Elsie and Jade again. It’s a miracle none of us thought we’d ever get.
I was without Elsie for about a month, and I hated that I no longer had her with me, but I stayed strong. I didn’t tell anyone where she was. Even when they tortured me.
I was happy she managed to get away. Happy that she found the perfect opportunity to escape, running off into a strange man’s car who happened to show up at the house we were kept in.
She begged me to come with her, tried to refuse to leave without me, but I made her go, knowing that my cowardice would only consume her. She didn’t need to pay the price for my weakness. So she left, vowing to come back for me.
And she tried. But once those bastards realized she was gone, they moved me and the other girls. Elsie looked for me, but it was Jade who found me. And a few days later, we all found each other.
Now we’re free. We have a second chance. Something to live for.
But me? I’m still there, trapped in a timeless loop of hell. I want them all to suffer. I want them all to pay. But I know that’ll never happen now.
Because most of them are dead, while the others are rotting inprison.
That should’ve brought me some peace.
But it hasn’t.
That’s not enough. It’ll never be enough.
I began seeing a therapist at Helping Hand, a center for trafficked women that Jade recently started. Can’t say it’s doing much, though.
I go every week. Talk about my feelings. Some of what happened to me. But it doesn’t do a thing.
Maybe I’m just broken. And some broken things can’t be fixed, no matter how badly you wish they could.
I started boxing and taking self-defense classes recently as a way to release all this rage. But instead, it just reminds me why I’m still so angry, still pounding on the bars that kept me caged.
When my fists connect with the punching bag, I imagine it’stheirfaces. Their grins, their laughs. And I destroy them. I let their blood fuel my rage, even for a moment. Even if it isn’t real.
I won’t be weak again. I won’t be the girl I used to be. It’s different now.
I’mdifferent.
I have to be.
It’s the only way I can survive this world where bad men roam free, preying on the next weak woman they can find.
