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The thought is insane, of course, but when his tiny fist grabs a chunk of my hair and doesn’t let go, my heart only wants him that much more.
Adriel senses my emotions, gathering me close to him.
“He is awfully cute.” He chuckles under his breath.
“Do we even know it’s a he?” I ask.
“I have no idea.” The deep, raspy sway of his voice has me wondering what having a child with him would be like.
Could we even do that? Could we do the things we do? Kill and be parents through it all?
We both continue to watch this little person while I hold him protectively.
Won’t let the monsters get you, I promise.
Adriel gathers the paper left abandoned in the box. “Let’s go in and see if Jade knows who may have left him here.”
“Okay.” I hold the baby closer.
I’ve come to terms with not having a child. Closed that chapter of my life. There was nothing there but pain.
We considered adopting, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to have one of my own. But now, with this little one in my arms, I wonder if that chapter is really closed.
We make it into the elevator, and while we ride up, A opens the folded piece of paper and reads it.
His name is Jameson. He was loved for two whole days, but I couldn’t keep him. So love him for me. Love him like his mother did. Because he deserves that.
-N
He folds the note back up and connects his eyes to mine while my heart breaks, eyes misting at the pain this woman must’ve felt at giving up her own child. What it took to be that selfless.
As the doors open, we stride out together and straight to Jade’s office. She’s gonna call Child Protective Services, and they’re gonna take him. We’ll never see him again.
I fight the pain building behind in my throat. But the longer his hand stays clasped around the thick strands of my hair, the harder it gets. He hasn’t relented, like he’s fighting to stay with me just as hard as I am to keep him.
Tears stream down my face at the thought of letting go of this child I only just met. It makes no sense. Yet it also does.
“Kayla…” Adriel grabs my forearm, halting me. “You want him, don’t you?”
I nod, my chin trembling. “Is that stupid? I mean, assuming we even can. He could have a family. A father out there who wants him. They could say we aren’t qualified to adopt him. But…but I wanna try.”
Blinking back the tears, I stare at the baby once more, knowing deep down that he’s meant to be ours.
“Kayla?” Jade walks out of her office, only a few feet in front of us. “Whose baby is that?” Her attention travels between us.
“We found him in a box outside,” Adriel explains, handing her the note.
She reads it quickly. “Oh my God. I don’t think it’s anyone from here.” Her brows stich as she looks fondly at the child. “Come inside my office. We’ll call social services and figure this out.”
We head into her office, and I settle on the sofa.
“My goodness,” Jade gushes. “He really is holding on tightly to you.”
“He is, isn’t he?” I smile sadly, knowing our time together is limited.
“You look good with a baby in your arms,” she tells me, affection fastened to her features.
“Do you think they’d let us adopt him?” Adriel asks, completely taking me aback.
