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For some reason, everything here feels so much morereal and vivid. The food is delicious, the water is crisp and refreshing, the air is clean, and the people… The men are gorgeous.
Kalistratos is gorgeous.
Maybe it has to do with him saving my life, but it’s becoming really difficult for me to stop thinking about him. We walk side by side with our hoods up so I can’t look at his face, but that doesn’t stop my mind from churning away. I know it’s crazy. I barely know who he is. Am I just the kind of person who falls for whatever man gives me attention?
It makes me think about our conversation last night about Jeff. I know how ridiculous it is for me to have given up so many years of my life chasing a maybe. Staying on the hook just because I want to believe that deep down inside, he wants to be with me and just needs the time to realize it. That one day, he’ll come out for me. I’d always known I was acting like a fool for him but was so spellbound by the good moments that I was willing to ignore it. It’s funny how in my head, I believed so completely that Jeff was the only person who knew how to make me feel comforted. He knew how to talk to me, how to touch me, how to put me at ease.
But, Jesus… Outside of those moments, did he ever really make me feel safe?
No, of course he didn’t. I could depend on him to give me his dick when we were together, but I couldn’t depend on him to show up for my birthday. Or to visit me on the weekends, or to hold my hand in public, or hell, even kiss me.
Crazy, the lies we’re able to tell ourselves, and worse, believe.
Whatever I’m feeling for Kalistratos isn’t anything to take seriously. He’s my only support here. Naturally, I’d feel a little taken by an alpha who saved my life. And killed slaver frogs. And fed me. And hand made me sandals.
Yeah, this is just a simple case of starry-eyed infatuation.
8
KALISTRATOS
Ican’t remember the faces of my fathers; they’ve been lost to the shadows of time. The memories of my time with them are also clouded, just vague feelings of a gentle hand stroking my hair. I hold onto those feelings tighter than any gleaming gemstone or piece of treasure. They’re all I have of the only family I’ve ever known.
Phoenikos know how to live alone. Every member of our clan I’ve ever met has shared that same sentiment. Solitude is in our blood, it seems. Phoenixes can never get too close to someone without burning them. I’ve always been by myself. It’s easier to maintain a careful distance, even from those I consider to be my friends. Alyx and I have worked together for years. We’ve shared countless meals and trust each other with our lives. But the amount I know about his past could balance on the tip of my finger. I’ve lost people before; not just my parents, but others I cared deeply about. But that’s just the name of the game, living the kind of life I do. Nothing comes easily, and nothing stays around for long.
“Kalistratos,” Tyler says to me as we trudge up the rocky valley alongside the growing flow of the river Delos. “I’ve been dying to know something. What does Alyx look like? I mean, in his human form.”
Alyx was far ahead of us, barely visible as he hopped amongst the rocks.
“Not my secret to share,” I say.
“Aw, come on. Give me something here.”
“Sorry. Even I’ve only seen him in his human form a couple of times.”
Tyler looks disappointed, but then he lights up again and asks, “Can you show me your powers, then?”
“What? No, I’m not going to show you my powers. Anyway, you’ve already seen them.”
“Hardly. I was kind of distracted by the threat of impending death. You said you can alter time, right?”
“I can suspend the flow of time for about thirty sustained minutes,” I say.
“Why just thirty minutes?” he asks.
“It’s what the gods decided. Every phoenix has different limits to the extent they can use powers. Alyx can shapeshift into small, black creatures, and can hold thatform without limitation. I can only manage mine for about thirty minutes before being completely drained of energy.”
“Seems inconvenient,” he says. “So what happens then?”
“I’ll need rest. Sustenance. Or…” I trail off.
“What?”
“It’s not something to share. Not with an omega I’ve just met.”
Tyler balks at me. “Excuse me? After all that we’ve been through together? Come on, tell me.”
“Phoenix energy comes from one place,” I tell him. “And from that place, it can be regenerated.”
