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Eric nodded. “Likely story. Look, I know I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. This is not your fault.”
Max visibly paled, his jaw hardening, and yet neither Eric nor Anna seemed to have noticed it in the few seconds it took for Max to pull it together. “I’d do anything to be in that bed instead of you.”
“It was my fault.”
I stepped forward. “Hi, sorry. I wanted to introduce myself. I’m Hope Radford.”
Eric’s eyes widened, and he grinned at me. The conversation about blame stopped, at least temporarily, which had been my intention.
“You’re Hope Radford—the woman who ruined this guy’s life, but who Anna tells me he can’t stay away from.”
I sighed dramatically, even as the words sort of burned. I deserved it, but whatever. “Well, I guess it’s a fly to the flame kind of thing. He knows it’s bad for him, but he can’t stay away. Like…like I’m carbohydrates.”
Max closed his eyes and shook his head. “Not funny.”
Anna crossed over to me and elbowed me gently in the side. “Carbs are fine in moderation.”
“I’m in a room with two chefs. I should have gone for some angle that wasn’t about food.” I crossed my arms over my chest in mock distress. “But now, how about that? Has anyone fed you,and if they haven’t, can we get you something that isn’t hospital related?”
He scrunched up his face. “I have no appetite. Sorry. And three chefs—before I was constantly in this condition, I was his first sous chef.”
“The best one Max ever had,” Anna agreed fast. “And he hasn’t wanted to eat for a week or two. Things may be progressing.” She made eye contact with Max before she smiled at Eric again. “He just doesn’t like my cooking. Never did.”
“You and Max with your fancy shit. I’d rather have a little pasta, a hamburger, and a beer any day of the week. That was the stuff we used to make at Hayley’s to go with the fancy stuff.”
They continued to joke back and forth. I watched sort of in awe of the whole thing. I didn’t have friends to joke with like this. My friends only talked about people or clothes. Or vacations they were bored on. Lately, it seemed my sisters and I were just miserable all the time. Or that had been the case before Layla got happy. Bridget was checked out. Maybe it was just me who was miserable?
We were in the hospital, and they were making jokes.Talk about making the best of a terrible situation.
Anna looked at me. “They’re always like this. It’s kind of awesome. He does better with Eric in these situations than I do.”
I took her hand. “I’m sure that’s not true.”
“I think sometimes loving someone is knowing when they don’t need you, but when they need someone else. Like when Eric needs Max.”
I swallowed. “I’ve never been in love.”
“Max can’t take his eyes off you. You’ve totally preoccupied him. Please be the version of the person I think you are and not the one that Max thought you were all these years.”
I ran a hand through my hair. “I don’t know who I am exactly. I never have. But I will raise money for Muffy and get yourhusband that surgery he needs, I promise you that. Whatever else I am or am not, I will do that. I promise. I keep the ones I make. Always.”
She nodded. “Thank you, Hope.”
We stayed another hour,and I remained mostly quiet, watching. Max had wanted me there, but I didn’t have much to say, which was really okay. I was comfortable, considering the circumstances. We were in the hospital, but it felt like we were just visiting with really nice people.
Until Eric had a seizure.
I’d seen someone have one once before. On a subway late at night. Then, I was pretty sure drugs had caused the seizure. This was different. One second, he was fine, the next, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he just seized. I covered my mouth to keep quiet and stayed out of the way while the doctors and nurses tried to help him.
What was surprising was that it was so quiet in the room. All of us, everyone helping. It was practically silent.
Then it was over. The seizure stopped, his vitals eventually returned to normal, and we left him to sleep. Anna looked like she’d aged ten years in the past ten minutes. How did she leave him at all without being utterly terrified all of the time?
I almost asked, but as we left the hospital, I didn’t think it was the time. We’d just had a lot of reality, so maybe we didn’t have to pick apart the absolute smallest details of their lives right then.
We got in my car without speaking a word when Max sat forward. “Can you close the barrier so they can’t see and hear us?”
I nodded and hit the button shutting Luke and Theo away from me. “What’s going on?”
