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I could never bring myself to do it.
Of course, none of that had anything to do with the fact that my mother took too many pills and never woke up again.Nothing the fuck to do with my fears at all.
I stopped the treadmill. Another problem with running—I thought about too many things when I did run. I grabbed a towel and wiped my face before I headed to the mats where I’d do my sit ups, stretches, and lift some weights. Then I’d be done. I wasn’t going to join a class or breathe through some yoga. I had this much in me and no more.
That was when I spotted her. My heart clenched, and I almost fled for the locker room, except that would be a lot worse than just hoping she didn’t spot me.
Amanda Hill, gossip vlogger extraordinaire. She plagued my family. Luckily, she cared a lot less about me than she did about Layla. The woman had searched for Layla for the past year. My sister’s location wasn’t secret, but there was no way for her to catch her on video at their vineyard in Washington. For the moment, anyway, she and my nephew were hidden from the world, just like Layla wanted it. Amanda didn’t even know that Noah existed, and I intended to make sure she didn’t find out.
If Amanda didn’t find me as interesting as Layla, she hated Bridget. I didn’t know why, but I didn’t plan to ask.
I didn’t want to talk to Amanda Hill at all.
Max sat down next to me, stretching out his hands over his head. He winked at me, seemingly totally unaware the movement revealed the bottom half of his abs or that they weredrool worthy, even in a room filled with people who could claim that title for themselves.
“This place is a lot fancier than mine. I feel like everyone is staring at each other.”
I nodded and gave a little wave to an heiress who walked past. “They are, and it can be very helpful to me.”
“Must be exhausting, yet you can’t sleep.”
That was the last thing I wanted to talk about. A thought dawned on me, and I almost didn’t say it, but he had the right to know. “That woman over there with the long brown hair and the gray eyes? Pretty face. She’s talking with her hands right now to the tall guy with the red shirt, do you see her?”
He blinked and then looked over at Amanda. “What about her?”
“She’s a gossip vlogger.”
Max shook his head. “And she just gets to…walk around here, into a room full of all the people she might want to talk about, and everyone acts like it’s just fine?”
I smiled at him. “Sure. We all make nice. Thing is, if you wanted to pay me back—if you wanted to do to me what I did to you—then you could tell her something about me right now. You could ruin me if you want to. She is the one with the video who showed it to everyone. It’s her most watched stream to date. She could do it again, this time on your behalf.”
He dropped his arms from the stretch. “So you live in a world where you work out with people who talk badly about you publicly, and now someone you spent the night with might decide just hours later to destroy your life?”
I waited a second before I answered, because I had to consider what to say. He seemed to have missed my point entirely. “I guess I do.”
“That is really fucked up.” He shook his head. “Somehow also not surprising, but you aren’t like that, so why do you do this?I’d also like to know why you said it in the first place, but I know you’re not going to answer me. You’ll evade it. That’s fine. I just wonder, that’s all.” He pointed at me. “Your eyes are brighter right now. I think you’re feeling endorphins.”
Was I? I didn’t know, but I certainly did feel awake. That was nice for a change. “Are you? Feeling the good vibrations from exercise?”
He shook his head. “Takes a lot more exercise to bring on an endorphin rush for me. This wasn’t my normal routine. This was more like…a jaunt at the gym.”
I snorted and then covered my face with my hand like I could muffle the sound. “Did you just say a jaunt at the gym?”
“I did.” His smile was huge as I dropped my hand. “Hope…”
“Oh my god, it’s you!”
We’d been spotted. Amanda stood staring down at us like we were peasants at her feet—not the ideal way to be found by the gossip vlogger. Then again, I was the least interesting person in the gym at the moment, so I hadn’t really expected her to focus on me.
I smiled because that was what I always did. What every good little socialite did. And that was how I made my living. “Amanda! Hello there. It’s been a while since I saw you.”
Her smile was cold, calculating. Mean.If she didn’t have legs, she’d slither on the ground like a snake. All she needed was a forked tongue and…
“I’ve been looking for you. Coming at various times to try to find you. I guessed you hadn’t been working out.” She looked me up and down. “I think I was right. Look at you, winded like you climbed Everest.” She had an affectation where she put on a lisp. It was always present during her videos, but not so much when normally speaking. Why did she do that? Sometimes I couldn’t figure people out.
I waved my hand. “I didn’t see you on the treadmill. You’re not sweating at all. Just getting started or are you some marvel that never sweats? It’s supposed to be a good detoxing system.”
Max rubbed my back, a light stroke. I didn’t know his intent, but the effect was to remind me I should watch my tone.
