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There had been only two possible outcomes, after all.
If I managed to kill the Don, I’d be free. If I failed, then I’d die.
My future had been teetering on a knife’s edge then, balancing precariously between death and freedom.
Now, in the present, I realized it hadn’t been either of those things.
I wasn’t dead,yes— but I also wasn’t free.
Despite knowing better than to do so, I found myself starting to reflect on my current situation.
I thought deeply and carefully about where I was right now.
The living room was dark. The couch comfortable and warm. It was almost completely quiet. A suspenseful scene was unfolding on the TV, the silence building up the anticipation as a character uncovered an important piece of information.
It allowed me to hear the sound of Jack’s breathing, each inhale and exhale resonating in the silence.
King’s hand was heavy on the exposed part of my leg, his thumb mindlessly stroking my ankle.
Ace’s side was pressed against mine, and I could feel the warmth of his body seeping into my skin.
There was only one question that lingered in my mind, and yet it reverberated through my head like a thunderous bang.
What the hell was I doing?
I looked around me, trying to make sense of what I was seeing.
Shadows danced on the walls of the dimly lit room, created by the glow coming from the flickering television screen, casting a soft light on the three men seated beside me.
Of the strangers with whom I was sharing a house with.
No. Notsharing.
Sharing meant that I could decide whether I wanted to leave or not, and I wasn’t in a position to do anything like that now, was I?
“You ok?”
I heard Ace asking through the white noise in my ears.
I turned my head to look at him and I almost couldn’t recognize him — the shifting shadows on his face distorting his features almost beyond recognition.
I took a moment to swallow, hoping that my expression didn’t give my true feelings away.
“Yeah. It’s just that the movie is a little boring, isn’t it?” I said, then glanced back at the TV, my mind somewhere miles away.
The eerie and ominous music continued to play, the notes becoming louder and shriller as the scene went on, but I couldn’t focus on any of that.
Francesco had owned me. He came into the night and stole me away from the safety of my bed.
Now, these three men did the same thing.
Was that all there was to my life? Me being owned?
The answer seemed to be a resounding yes.
* * *
After that realization, I made a conscious effort to steer clear of the guys for the rest of the week. It had been easy enough, as their work started to call them away from the house more often than not. That fortunately left me alone with my thoughts, giving me enough time to think.
