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It was a weird thing, to suddenly look forward to everything the future held, and an even weirder thing to want certain things to happen. Like a future with Brett. I still didn’t know how it would work, but I knew we’d figure it out.
Things had changed so much, even my parents had noticed my new and improved attitude—which was a little annoying, honestly, since they’d never addressed my attitude when I wasn’t happy. They’d been content with ignoring my depression and my moroseness, but now that I was normal, in their eyes, they couldn’t be more thrilled… even if it meant that Brett-slash-Ian was bringing it out of me.
My current exam was one hundred multiple choice questions, the easiest kind of test, if you asked me. The answer was right there, in your face, so even if you didn’t know it off the top of your head, you had a twenty-five percent chance of getting it right by guessing. It didn’t get easier than that—except maybe true/false questions, but those were never on tests anymore.
I wasn’t the first one done, but I wasn’t the last, either. Once I’d stopped breaking the tip of my pencil, I dutifully answered all the questions, and then I got up, took the test packet and the scan sheet to the front, and handed it over to the professor.
And then I was free. Free for summer, free until I’d have to return for next semester in the fall, at the end of August.
After taking the stuff up to the professor, I went to grab my bag, and then I walked out of the large lecture hall. The building was a newer on one campus, full of odd angles and windows everywhere in the hall. All those windows let in a lot of sunlight… and it meant on cloudy days, the inside of the building was absolutely gloomy.
I went to the side staircase, pep in my step, too happy now that summer was officially here. The halls were pretty much empty, save for other students who’d finished up their exams and were also in the process of leaving. I was the only one going to the side stairs though; most used the main stairs in the open lobby of the building.
I made it to the door that closed off the stairwell from the rest of the building, and my hand went to open it when someone on the other side jerked it open and strolled out, nearly walking into me. She stopped herself short, though.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I—” Her apology abruptly halted the moment we locked eyes.
I stood face to face with a girl I’d only seen in passing the past year and a half, a girl I used to hang out with all the time, ever since we were kids. All that had ended the night I’d caught her making out with Zak. She hadn’t even tried to talk to me after.
Amelia.
She looked a little different now. She wore more makeup, but her fashion sense was still the same. Tight leggings and a pretty shirt that showed off her midriff. She had a small bag over her shoulder, a bright pink color, matching the color painted on her nails.
“It’s fine,” I broke the awkward silence. It wasn’t like she purposefully walked into me. It had been an accident; the door to the stairwell only had a tiny shatter-proof window, and no one stopped to look on the other side before opening it.
It looked like she wanted to leave, but for some reason, she stayed rooted in place, her hand holding onto the strap of her bag like it was her lifeline. “How are you, Charlie?” An awkward, small talk question, and I was pretty sure she didn’t care.
Still, I found myself saying, “I’m good. Better than I was. How are you?” Did I give a crap about how she was? Not really… I’d written her off a long time ago, and yet, even though she’d hurt me that night with Zak, I’d caught myself wondering more than once if she’d had a crush on him before we’d started to date. Looking back, she always did look at him a bit too long when we’d all hang out.
She’d been boy crazy, so it wasn’t like I’d stolen her true love or anything like that, but Zak was one of the guys in our high school she’d never gone for.
Not that that was an excuse for what she did.
“I’m good,” she said. “I have to take a makeup exam since my parents are dragging me out of state this Friday.” Her mouth thinned, and once again it looked like she was going to bolt, but instead of leaving, she lowered her voice and said, “I heard about Zak. I can’t believe they didn’t catch the guy who did it. I, uh, wanted to go to the funeral, but I thought…” Amelia coughed. “You went, didn’t you?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I did. My mom pretty much forced me. I think she was always hoping we’d get back together.”
She kicked her feet on the tile between us. “Yeah, your parents always did love him.”
I watched her for a few seconds, wondering if that was it, if this awkward little talk was done. I wasn’t good at these things. I didn’t confront people or anything like that. Avoidance was my specialty.
“Um,” Amelia took a step away from me. “I should go. Don’t want to keep the professor waiting.”
“Okay. Good luck.” I turned to leave, but Amelia called out to me.
“Charlie.” When I turned back to face her, I found she was biting on her lower lip. “For what it’s worth, I’ve thought a lot about that night and what I should’ve done differently.” Her eyes fell to the tiled floor. “I was a little buzzed and… I don’t know. That’s no excuse. I know it’s too late now, but I am sorry.” Her eyes lifted, meeting mine once more, and though her apology was a little awkward, I could tell she meant it. “You didn’t deserve that.”
No, I didn’t. I didn’t deserve any of it. Everyone always said college was the time to make mistakes, to have fun, party, live it up while you could, before the real world came and pushed you down.
Maybe if the rest of my life wasn’t shit, that night wouldn’t have hurt me so much. If everything else in my life would’ve been normal, maybe I would’ve broken up with Zak and mended bridges with Amelia. It wasn’t the first time she’d thrown herself at a guy with a girlfriend.
Just the first time it’d beenmyboyfriend in question.
I didn’t know what to say. Her apology for that night over a year and a half ago caught me totally off-guard, to the point where I just stood there and blinked. Eventually, I realized she was waiting for me to say something.
“Thank you,” I said. “I appreciate that.” Better late than never, right?
Amelia took a step back, saying, “I’ll see you around?” It came off like a question.
