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He shook his head. “How about this instead? Bridget, I solve problems. I keep people safe. I can fix this.Wecan fix this, and then you can start working on letting go of guilt that belongs to other people. If you need to make amends to strangers, since that seems to be a thing your sisters are into, we can work on figuring out how to do that anonymously, too.”
“Yes.” I sat up a bit, excited by the prospect. “I would love that. It would really make me happy.”
“Good. Then we’ll start there. Give it to me, okay? Hand it to me, and I’ll shoulder it until we can deal with it. Stop lugging this around alone.”
It was like my whole body sagged against him. I couldn’t stay upright anymore.
He continued, “Lay down right here. Close your eyes. This is going to be okay.”
I didn’t know where he indicated, since my eyes were closed, but I hoped it was okay that I crawled onto his lap and tucked in close to his body.
I fell asleep on his lap but I woke up on his bed. Darkness cloaked the room, but Michael lay next to me, on his side, facing me. His eyes were closed, and he was shirtless, wearing gray pajama pants, based on the leg that escaped the covers. He hadn’t even seen his physical therapist yet, but he was already sleeping on his side. He carried me around. The man was nuts, but it was because he was such a caregiver, even though he might not like the description.
Fuck.I always wanted him, even when it was absolutely not appropriate to do so. He was beautiful and such a silent sleeper. My nipples hardened as I looked at him and listened to his steady breaths. I wanted him with a need that pulsed through my body like a current. He obviously felt the same way about me. We might have a lot to work out, but why was I denying us what we both wanted? He carried me around and told me to let him worry about his pain. Could I do that?
Right then, I decided that I could.
I scooted closer to him and gave in to the need to stroke his face. I ran my finger down his nose and across his cheeks, listening for his breathing change as he woke from my ministrations. I kissed him then, knowing he was awake enough to stop me if he wanted. Obviously he didn’t, because his lips answered mine and then some. His arms came around me and tugged me even closer to him, kissing me back roughly. The covers went flying off the bed as our bodies tangled, still dressed but clinging to each other like we were already naked.
Right away, I could tell being with Michael would be different than anything else I experienced before. I hated sex, and I might this time, too, but it was starting out so much better than ever in the past. I wanted Michael with my every pore—I wanted to smell him and taste him and touch him all over. The simplest scrape of his skin against mine caused little licks of pleasure, each adding heat until I felt I might burn in the inferno.
He moved fast and I didn’t see it coming. On his knees and on top of me in an instant, he pulled my pants from my body. When he brought me into the bedroom, he must have removed my shoes. Otherwise, I wore my clothes from the day. My pants came off first followed immediately by my panties, leaving me bare to him.
It dawned on me, rather a bit too late in the process, how I could have probably prepared for the moment a bit. In the course of normal preparation, I would’ve waxed or something, but as he looked at me, he didn’t really seem to care. If this became a regular thing, I’d try to groom a bit.
“Michael,” I said, wondering if I should say anything on the subject.
He lifted his gaze to meet my own, and the heat and need in his gaze made me shiver. “Let me admire you for a second, Bridget. I’ve thought about this for a long time. I’ve wanted to see you, to touch and taste you. I’ve imagined how gorgeous your pussy would be, and here it is right in front of me. This moment deserves its due.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
“Good.” His smile was slow. “I’ve had dreams that started this way. It may take some convincing for me to really believe I’m awake.”
I swallowed. “I don’t know how to flirt or talk dirty. I’m sorry. I’m really inept at this.”
“I only ever want you to be you. Period.” He scooted forward, pulling my shirt up and then eventually over my head so he could discard it. I wore my bra, but he didn’t immediately pull it off. Instead, he ran his hands over my stomach and my muscles shook under his touch. A lock of his shiny dark hair fell to cover one eye, so I reached up and smoothed it away.
I might not know what to say, but the way he looked at me made me feel as if it didn’t matter.
Once again, I was struck with wanting to bottle the moment. It happened every time something significant took place with Michael. Why wasn’t it possible?
He finally unhooked my bra and threw it carelessly away. I was completely naked and he totally wasn’t, so my gaze slid down his body. That didn’t seem fair at all. “You’re still wearing too many clothes.”
“You want them off?” He moved back to remove the pants and then his briefs followed. “They’re off. Nothing between us at all, which is what I want, but we’re not quite there yet, are we?”
I swallowed. “We’re not?”
We seemed pretty darn almost there to me. He shook his head slowly. “No, beautiful. We’re totally fucking not. I’m sorry that you think that we are. It seems to me that you’ve never really done this before.”
I had, and I huffed at his suggestion. I was absolutely not a virgin, but it really didn’t seem the time to brag about my previous sexual exploits, either. Instead, I said nothing.
“We’ll find out together what you like, Bridget. Even if it takes some time. I’ve got nowhere to go and nothing to do except make you come. You will tonight, Bridget. I’m going to make you come until your legs shake, I promise you that.” He kissed the top of one of my knees as if to seal his promise, then his gaze met mine again. “Do you know when I fell in love with you?”
Oh, so we’re going there?Did I?No.He told me he was that terrible day in New York, but he never went into detail. I shook my head. “No.”
“That New Year’s Eve, when we danced together. I looked at you, and it was just different. You banged into me wearing your feathered dress, and I immediately knew something had changed. Then you said the most amazing words anyone has ever spoken to me. I fell. Hook. Line. Sinker. I’ve never been the same, never will be. You were it for me, Bridget Radford. For now and forever, so don’t tell me you don’t know things to say. You abso-fucking-lutely do. “
I wished things could have been different. I wished I could’ve focused on the budding feelings between me and Michael rather than revenge against my father. What could these years have been like, if I’d done that? If I had a clue about what was going on before I looked at those screens?
