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“Then why—?”
“You know, Cash, for a smart boy, you can be blind dumb sometimes,” Dad says.
I take the insult like a lashing, my jaw clenched, focused on a point over his shoulder. “I’ve done everything in my power,” I say, “to keep this family together and functioning. All I want is for Alex to have what I had growing up, but you are refusing to—”
“See, that’s your mistake,” Dad says. “You’ve given her more than we ever gave you, your mother and me. Just because she doesn’t have a mother, doesn’t mean she doesn’t have family. She’s got us.”
“The bar was part of us. Part of the family. I worked my ass off trying to help you fix it up, and—”
“You wanted Alex to have a whole family,” Dad says. “And I know I haven’t been much of a father to you, or a grandfather to her over the past year. Since your mother died. Fact is, I’ve been a piss-poor excuse for a father.”
That shuts me up.
“There are things I’ve done that I’m not proud of,” Dad continues, “and trying to redo that bar was me trying to fix things. But I couldn’t do it. Like I was wandering around in a dark room, bumping into things when I’m the one trying to fix the lights.”
“That’s why I was helping you.”
“Cash, that bar was never going to be yours. It was never your destiny to run it. You weren’t made for that,” Dad says. “You were meant for bigger things than looking after someone else’s old dream. And sometimes, when you love something, you’ve got to let it go. I’m letting the bar go.”
I leaned against the balustrade.
“And I’m leaving for a while,” he says. “So that I can get help. There’s a place in El Paso, one of those rehab centers, and I’m going to go.”
Relief washes over me. “That’s great news, Dad.”
“Yeah, I heard what you kids were saying. Got a call from Lily the other day, and she chewed me out too. I know I’ve been letting you down, letting the family down, but I’m not going to do that anymore, even if it means giving up the bar.”
“Probably not the best business to be in, in that case.”
“That’s what I’m thinking,” Dad says. “Funny thing is, alcohol wasn’t a problem for me before. It just sort of crept up on me after your mother died. And then it kept creeping every day until I couldn’t remember what time it was or what day it was or where I was meant to be.”
A silence drifts between us, and I run a hand over my face, releasing the tension that’s been seated in my chest.
“This is what’s best for the family and for me. I’m sorry, son. I’m sorry for disappointing you, but I want you to learn from my mistakes. We Taylor men, we’re stubborn as hell. We’ll stick with something right to the bitter end. Don’t stick with what doesn’t serve you. Don’t shut yourself off from the people you love because you’re afraid of getting hurt.”
I nod, and I can’t talk. I clear my throat and sit down next to my father. He places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes then pulls me into a one-armed hug. It reminds me of when I was a boy, and it leaves me choked up.
“You in love with this woman?” he asks.
“June?”
“Yeah, her. You two were inseparable when you were kids. I figured you’d wind up together one day.” He laughs, soft and slow, like he’s got all the time in the world. “You want my advice?”
“Sure.”
“If she makes you smile every day, if you feel lighter around her, if you’d do anything to keep her happy, keep her in your life,” he says. “Because when the bad times come, there’s nothing you need more than a good friend by your side. Take it from a man who’s loved and lost.”
I rise from the swing seat, feeling light, and head down to the pickup. I’ve got things to do, and all of it involves proving to June how much I love and need her in my life, and how I will work to make sure she knows it. Even if I don’t need a nanny anymore, I will support her and protect her.
I get into the car and check my phone, and my entire body tenses. I have several missed calls from June, followed by a series of text notifications.
JUNE
Cash, are you all right?
I heard you were in a fight.
Olivia and my mother are living together next door. They came by today and were on your front lawn, so I called the cops to report it, just so there’s evidence of Olivia overstepping.
