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“Looking for something a little stronger,” he replies.
Things have not been right since Mom passed, and there’s nothing that will fill the hole it’s left behind. Except for the bar. That was their baby, but it fell into disrepair when she got sick. If I can fix it up, maybe I can bring my father back to the man he truly is. Make life worth living again, instead of burying his head in a vat of fucking alcohol.
Savage arrives bearing two cans of Coke, pops a tab and hands one to my father. I nod my thanks.
Savage scratches under his beard. “What are we talking about?”
Jesse opens his mouth and I shoot him a warning look. If he says one fucking thing about June, I’ll make him sorry. He laughs under his breath at me.
I must seem like a fool to him. I feel like one.
But I can’t help myself. I find myself looking for her. Turning my head, hoping to catch a glimpse of her golden hair, the scent of that citrus-sunshine perfume.
It’s bullshit.
“Renovations are going well,” I say. “We’ve replaced the entire bar. I want to sand those tables down and distress them. Might give the bar a more rustic vibe.”
My father takes a sip of his Coke and pulls a face. “Chuckles was rustic before we started changing things.”
“Dad, Chuckles was half-rotten before you started work on it,” Jesse says, and it’s in that moment, I appreciate my brother. It’s a pity that Leo isn’t here to help us deal with this, but he’s got bigger aspirations, and I can’t begrudge him a successful career doing what he loves.
Just because I chose to give up my dreams, doesn’t mean my brother has to.
“I’m sure the place will turn out great,” Savage says.
June and Alex come in from the dining area, and go into the kitchen. June gets down a glass and fills it with water.
Alex glugs the water down like she’s never had a sip of the stuff in her life, while Fireball barks and yips, wagging his little butt in anticipation of their next game of tag.
June strokes my daughter’s hair, blonde like June’s, and if I ignore everything that’s happened, I can imagine us together.
What if Jesse was right?
I didn’t go for it when I had the chance, and I’ve spent over a decade regretting it, hiding the pain with music, with drugs at one point, with a woman who didn’t care for me.
“—Deveraux family,” Dad finishes.
The tail end of that sentence makes me flush hot. “What?”
“I’ve heard they’re interested in the bar,” Dad says. “You know what Heatstroke is like. People talk.”
“They can keep talking,” I say. “And the Deveraux can chew on a bag of sweetbread. They’re not getting the bar.”
My father takes a sip of his Coke but doesn’t say anything. I get up, tugged toward the kitchen by June’s presence. We make eye contact again, and she smiles. I don’t react, opting to dip into the dining room instead to help Ganny set the table.
I don’t want to want June Jackson, but every minute spent near her weakens my resolve. I’m starting to think my brother isn’t as much of a jackass as he pretends to be.
What if you do take the shot?
Thirteen
CASH
“Cash,”she says, her voice like liquid fucking gold, as I walk past, “can I talk to you for a second?”
June is in the living room, watching TV. Alex is already in bed, exhausted after a good dinner at Ganny’s and a lot of running around with Fireball. My daughter is spoiled rotten whenever she visits her great-grandmother, and it reminds me of when I was a kid and things were simpler.
“Cash?” June rises from the sofa, wearing that white dress that sits flush against her tan skin. “It’s about Alex.”
