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“Are tanks more effective than planes?” Kurt asked.
I could do this. A neutral topic. Sure, I only knew anything about it because of Tony, but I could stay removed. “It depends on what your goal is. Tanks aren’t particularly good in urban environments, but planes tend to require more fuel and be less precise.”
“Urban environments?”
“Like cities. Lots of close together buildings. Imagine trying to drive a big, huge thing down a narrow street with tall buildings.”
Kurt wrinkled his nose. “Sounds scary.”
Sure, scary worked. “I bet it is.”
“Is that why robots fight in a big empty box?”
I assumed he had more background on his question than I did. “I don’t watch a lot of robot fights.”
“You should. They beat each other up, but people don’t get hurt, and sometimes there are explosions. Pew.” He made a broad gesture with his hands.
“That does sound pretty epic.”
“So. Epic. I’m going to Evie’s tomorrow,” Kurt said. “She’s going to help me make modifications to my F4U. You should come too. You know almost as much about robots as she does.”
I doubted that. Apparently there was one line I wasn’t willing to cross—I wouldn’t argue with her in front of this kid who still had hope. “That’s not a good idea. Evie doesn’t like me very much.”
“Evie likes everyone who knows about robot stuff. I bet if you tell her that, she’ll like you, too.”
“Kurt.” A woman’s voice carried through the parking lot. She strode toward us from the front office at a fast clip. “Why are you bothering this man?”
“He’s not a bother. We’re talking shop.” I knew her—Elaina. She’d been sugar and sweetness when I checked in, then turned cold like everyone else within the next day.
“He’s nice, Mom. Why doesn’t anyone like him?”
I hid my smirk at the way Elaina twisted her mouth. She took Kurt’s hand. “We’re sorry to take up your time,” she said to me. “Have a good night, Mr. Rawlings.”
Kurt waved and I returned the gesture as he walked away with his mother.
I should be grateful to be alone again, but the silence left my grief an opening to rush back in. It was probably a good thing there was no place in this town that would sell me liquor at ten on a Sunday night, because I was tempted to buy the cheapest gallon of vodka I could find, and drown in it.
Instead, I grabbed my clothes from the dryer and headed back to my room. My earbuds sat on the nightstand.
Ignore them. See what’s on HBO. Fall asleep to a stupid movie.
I grabbed the noise canceling buds, shoved them in my ears as they connected to my phone, and cranked the music. It would be loud enough to keep me from thinking, except that I picked a playlist I hadn’t touched since Tony—
Since I couldn’t hold the feeling back, I lay on the bed and let grief consume me as the series of metal ballads we’d played at our wedding wrapped me up in emotional agony.
15
Evie
Alys texted me Monday morning to tell me Maddox and Adam were in to help. One of them would write up some text to warm up their audience, and I could approve it, and then they’d have me on Sunday.
I hated the idea of putting so many people out for my mistake, but I was grateful for the help. I thanked her and sent them thanks as well.
Rohde dropped Kurt off a little after ten. This second summer without her husband was proving hard on Elaina for more than just emotional reasons. She worked nights because it paid better, but with Kurt out of school, she didn’t have anyone to watch him.
A few of us volunteered, and today I would help him make upgrades to his plane. Which so far had been as much talking robot theory as working on the RC vehicle. Not that I minded—I loved the chance to share my knowledge.
“What happened to your zombie Nazi bombs?” I asked when he and I were set up in the back room.
