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“Why?” She was pleased with how steady her voice sounded. But it was more than that. Her nerves were still. She wasn’t upset at seeing Jack, she felt…nothing.
“We need to talk.” He grunted, flicking an annoyed glance at Marco. “Alone.”
Portia considered that, but then shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
“Portia, come on. It’s been seven months. When are you going to let me explain? When are you going to get over this?”
She felt Marco stiffen at her side.
“I’m over it,” she said, simply. “I’m over the shock and the hurt and the pain and the wondering what I must have done wrong that made you cheat.”
Jack opened his mouth to say something but Portia continued, “I’m over feeling betrayed and wronged and jilted and embarrassed. I’m just getting on with my life.”
“Without me.”
Portia’s brow furrowed. “Jack, you cheated on me. In our house. You were also getting on with your life, in a way that excluded me.”
Colour stained his cheeks. “It was a mistake. It happened once.”
“But once is too many times. And the thing about cheating, is that it’s hard to believe it’s just a one-time thing. Trust is so valuable, and once it’s broken, it’s really hard to repair.”
“But it can be repaired. That’s why I came here. I wanted to ask you for another chance. God, I miss you, Portia. I miss so much about you, about us, about who I am when we’re together. I miss our life, and our friends, and lazy weekends spent reading the paper and going to the pub. I miss long walks across the heath, and planning holidays together. I just missyou.”
Portia felt as though the world had stopped spinning. She certainly felt as though Marco had ceased to breathe.
“I know it will take time, I’m just asking for a chance. For us to go for coffee, or a walk. Something small.”
“But why?” She murmured, blinking at him, wondering what effect his impassioned speech might have had were Marconotin her life. Would she have been tempted? Or had Jack’s infidelity cut too deeply for there to ever be any hope of repair?
“Because we have something worth saving.”
“You didn’t think so when you took another woman to bed.” That was Marco and Portia jerked her gaze to his face, shocked to see the dark anger there, the strength of his emotions.
“This has nothing to do with you,” Jack responded, his own anger considerably less well concealed.
“It concerns Portia, so it concerns me.”
“And who the hell even are you?” Jack demanded.
“A friend—,” Portia said quickly.
“Marco Santoro.”
“Santoro? You’re sleeping with your boss?” Jack demanded.
“He’s not my boss, he’s my boss’s brother and it’s seriously none of your business.” She sucked in a deep breath. “Jack, look at me,” she drew his attention away from Marco, but barely. Jack’s eyes kept flitting back to Marco’s face. Portia’s nerves were fraying now. “I miss what we had too. I loved our life, and if you hadn’t cheated, or if I hadn’t found out, we’d still be together, we’d still be happy, and that’s probably how we’d have lived for the rest of our lives. But we would never have been complete, nor fulfilled. What we had, it wasn’t perfect. It was a happiness we both liked because it was comfortable and familiar. We’ve known each other forever, our parents are friends, every obstacle was removed for us.”
“Portia—,”
She held a hand up, staving off his interruption. “The thing that I miss about our life together is our friendship. I was very hurt when you cheated. I really was. But lately, I’ve been examining why you might have made that choice, and I think it’s the same reason that I’m glad we’ve broken up: we weren’t right together. Not as a couple. We could have made it work, because we were always friends, but we both deserve better. Maybe in time, we can be friends again, but I will never, ever consider getting involved with you romantically. There’s just no chance.”
She felt so pleased to have said her piece. These feelings were important, and they were honest, and she was able to speak them without emotion making her voice wobble.
“This is because of him, isn’t it?” Jack demanded, apparently not hearing a word Portia had said. “If you hadn’t jumped straight into bed with this—guy—you’d feel differently.”
Maybe he was right. Maybe it was being in a relationship with someone who made every part of her body spark and sing had forced her to recognize how much spark was missing in her relationship with Jack.
“It is because of you,” Marco responded darkly. “Are you hearing nothing of what Portia has said?”
