AllFreeNovel
Share Us
But did he see it as a date?
The teasing remarks that hinted at me putting out or at least kissing him if it was had made butterflies swarm inside me. Had he just been messing with me? I wanted to ask, but that would either make things more awkward or just make me look stupid. He had to have been teasing, right?
“I had a good time at dinner.”
It wasn’t much but at least it filled the weird silence.
“Me too,” Owen said, and his voice was more subdued than usual at first. As though he’d never let his usual cheerfulness slip, he continued with a smirk, “You make a great date.”
Teasing or serious? Teasing to see if I was serious?
“Most of my dates haven’t worked out that great, so being able to hang out with you was nice.” So was flirting with him — not that I thought I'd done a good job at it. Was it really flirting when you weren't even sure the other person saw you as someone who was dateable?
“Well, women have all sorts of expectations. Men are different.” Owen flashed me a grin. “Not that I’ve never had a shitty date with a guy, but those are usually a little better. So of course it was better than going out with a girl.”
I wasn’t sure if one gender was actually easier to deal with than the other. “I don’t know… They’ve both been hard. Girls are hard to read, but guys expect you to know exactly what you want.” Shrugging, I looked out the side window. “When you don’t really know, that seems to piss some of them off.”
Owen paused then arched a brow. “My, my, big brother. You’re playing for both teams now? Or are you just experimenting? Seems like there are a lot of things you’re willing to try these days.”
I couldn’t tell if he was teasing me or making fun of me.
Owen liked guys though, so he was probably just teasing… Right?
“Um, I don’t like the phrase experimenting. It sounds like I’m a lab rat or monkey or something. I guess I’m just trying to figure things out.” Owen looked back at the windshield. The almost sarcastic expression on his face was gone, so I kept going, “Dating girls is only okay, so I thought that might mean I was gay, but that didn’t go much better. So I’m not sure now.”
“Hmm.” Owen didn’t look at me.
I could see the reflection of his face, though, and he wasn’t grinning anymore. It wasn’t until he looked back at me that the smirk was firmly planted back on his lips, and it made me wonder why he thought he had to do that.
“Bisexuality, pansexuality, and all the other -ities are all there to make it so we don’t really have to decide one way or the other,” he pointed out, shrugging. “Well, all the -ties except titties, which I’m not even remotely interested in.”
I’d never given the other descriptions much thought. Maybe I should have. Maybe that would have helped me to understand why all I could think about was whether I was going to get a good night kiss from my brother.
“I’m not sure I need more research right now. I kind of have my hands full.”
His grin widened, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I hadn’t been trying to be funny. Figuring out all the puppy play stuff and everything I was feeling when I looked at him was hard enough.
I shrugged, not sure what to say. Did he think I was ridiculous?
“Well, at least you don’t have far to go,” he drawled. At first, I thought he meant the house we were pulling up to, but he went on, “We’re already… researching puppy play. No reason not to ‘research,’” he made air quotes with his fingers, “a few other things while we’re at it.”
It was like we weren’t brothers.
How did he see me? As a brother? It should’ve been obvious, considering the way he always acted like he resented me. And yet… that comment was not one I’d have expected from my sibling.
Was it weird that it got the butterflies going again? “You’d help me figure out what… what felt right? I mean, the puppy stuff is one thing, but that…”
Did he really understand what he was offering?
I wasn’t sure if being even more honest was the best way to go or not, but I had a feeling that if I offered anything less, I’d miss my chance — though what chance that was, I wasn’t sure.
“I liked kissing a guy I dated.” That wasn’t hard.
Owen gave me a side glance then went back to focusing on the road.
“He wanted me to… well, top him, but that just seemed… wrong. I just don’t know why.” Explaining it made me sound weird, even I could see that. The internet said you didn’t have to do anal stuff even if you were gay, but I wasn’t so sure what my reactions meant.
“Sure, I can help,” he said. “It’s not like I don’t have plenty of experience,” he pointed out, but instead of the dry humor I’d expected, there was a slight hesitation to his words. “I can be your teacher.”
