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“I hire gardeners now,” Jaus said as Feyla took off, soaring toward the enormous mountain range beyond the house. “No more digging in the dirt or pulling weeds for me.” His eyes scanned the building. “I don’t keep regular staff inside. A few come monthly to keep the place tidy and drive away vermin.”
“All these years, you’ve held onto it, yet you don’t live here?”
“Someday, maybe.”
“I can understand why you might not want to. My parents didn’t have a home to leave me and Lyneth. If they had, the memories might’ve haunted us.” Although, they might’ve also given us comfort. “I took my mother’s mortar and pestle, plus her gathering baskets with me when we moved into a small place we rented. I enjoyed using her things.”
“I’m glad you and your sister had each other.” Lifting his pack, he took my hand.
“What’s on the agenda for today?” I asked as he led me around the side of the building.
“I thought we could have a picnic like I used to long ago with my mother. Replace some of my sad memories with good ones.”
Chapter34
Jaus
“Fifteen years ago, I helped my mother plant these flowering trees,” I said as I led my mate among them. “They’re so tall now. Back then, they were no taller than me.”
“They’re beautiful.” Rhoslyn paused and pulled down a branch, sniffing the pale purple blossoms. “They smell amazing.”
“My mother loved the perfume. She told me once she wanted to smell it every day of her life. I transplanted one of the trees to a spot near her grave on the outskirts of the city. Now she’s surrounded by the perfume each summer.”
“That’s wonderful. We . . . didn’t find much of my parents to bury. My sister will visit their grave.” Her sigh of sadness bled out. “I won’t be able to see it again.”
“I’m sorry.” I hugged her, and we continued walking.
In the center of the grove, my mother had left a small area bare, planting it only with sweetgrass. Two stone benches flanked the sides. I waved to them. “When the flowers bloomed, my mother would sit here and close her eyes, sucking in the scent.”
“It’s a lovely spot.”
“You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted to share it with.”
She leaned into my side, and I sucked in the sympathy she so willingly gave.
I spread a blanket in the center of the open area, and we sat.
Rhoslyn leaned back on her palms with her legs outstretched. Her eyelids slid closed, and she lifted her nose. “I love it here already. It smells wonderful.”
“I thought it might make me sad to come here again. I haven’t returned to this grove since she was killed by the shaydes.”
“I wish I could say something to help ease your pain.”
“I feel the same for you.”
We linked our fingers together.
“Just being here with you makes a difference. I feel . . . happy,” I said. It wasn’t hard to smile, and as my smile grew, some of the rough edges on my sadness smoothed.
“Your mother would be proud of all you’ve accomplished. I bet she loved you a lot.”
“She did.” I’d never doubted that. My father rejected me, but she’d done all she could to make up for his lack, and it was enough. “I just realized I don’t need him.”
“Your father.”
I nodded. “All these years, I mourned that he didn’t want me. But my mother made my life special, and you, my tiny mate, make me feel complete.” Finally, I felt free of the pressure to do something—anything—that might please him. “I spent too much time hoping he’d see I was worthy and accept me. All this time, it didn’t really matter. I don’t need him.”
“I think it’s natural for a child to want both their parents to love them.”
