AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I don’t think any man I’ve ever been with has wanted to spoil me. I don’t think that was even a thought in their head. I was lucky if they bought me dinner. More often than not, we split everything down the middle.
Not that I minded. Gender equality and all. I was happy to pay my own way. But I didn’t really have anything to compare it with, either. And I have to admit, old-fashioned as it might be, there’s just something about a man who’s willing to pay for his woman, buy things for her, spoil her rotten.
Elle likes to say that it’s another form of control. But to me, it says,As long as you’re mine, I’m gonna take care of you.
What are you doing?I chide myself silently.You’re not his woman. You’re not his anything. You’re a prisoner at worst, a glorified house guest at best.
It’s hard to internalize that lecture when I’m busy internalizing how good he smells, though.
Lev saunters out of the basement a second later, looking a little shaky and very nervous. “I’m ready,” he announces.
I give him a wink. “I’m glad you’re coming with us.” That gets a blushy smile out of him.
As we move towards the door, Uri’s hand lands on the small of my back and despite my big lecture to myself, despite my better judgment, despite my logical sensibilities, all I can hear is—
As long as you’re mine, I’m gonna take care of you.
36
URI
Alyssa plucks off a grape from the bunch sitting on the charcuterie board and pops it into her mouth. I watch her chew for longer than is decent. She seems to be aware because, although she doesn’t look at me, her cheeks redden and she swallows quickly.
Lev is scanning the area uncertainly, his body swaying from side to side. I’ve brought him to Palisades Park a few times before. Once, it went great; the other three times, not so much. The odds are not in our favor.
But I’m hoping that having Alyssa here might make a difference.
The woman is fucking incrediblewith him. I say that with the reservations of a protective older brother. She knows how to talk to him, how to handle him. She knows how to bring him down from the brink of an episode and she knows how to stop his fears in their tracks. She’s gotten so damn good, so damn fast, that it actually pisses me off a little.
Why the hell did it take me so long? Why the hell is it still so difficult for me sometimes?
Every time I see her with Lev, my own adequacy is pulled to the forefront. Inadequacy is not something I’m accustomed to feeling. If this is what it’s like to be mortal, I want no fucking part of it.
“Do we play now?” Lev asks, throwing me a furtive glance.
“Why don’t you eat something first, Lev?” Alyssa suggests. “Hey, watch me.” She grabs another grape and throws it into the air before catching it with her mouth. “Ta-da!”
Lev looks positively mesmerized.He’s not the only one.“Do it again!” he claps. “Again!”
Picnic 2.0 was my way of pivoting when Lev announced he wanted to come with us. What I had in mind for Alyssa and I could not involve him. So this is the happy compromise. A gourmet spread in Palisades Park to keep Lev happy. Somehow, it’s every bit as good.
Lev sees a nearby squirrel and crawls over to try feeding it grapes. I keep an eye on him as he goes, though without looking away, I say to Alyssa, “You’re amazing with him.”
In the corner of my eye, she blushes hard and does an alarmed double-take. “You think?”
The fact that she even asks floors me. “I’ve never seen anyone calm him down so fast. It’s like witchcraft. I haven’t decided yet whether to thank you or burn you at the stake.”
She laughs, then bites her lip and shakes her head. “I’m not trying to convince him to calm down. I just want him to know that I’m there for him even—no,especiallywhen he feels like he’s losing control of himself.”
I swallow hard and try to look away from her.
But fuck me, I can’t.
That’s the entire problem.
She sighs. “He reminds me of myself sometimes.”
“Pardon?”
