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I’m suddenly very aware of my exposed skin, many of my tattoos on display. I’ve never really been in a situation where I was embarrassed by them, and I wouldn’t use the word now. But I will say my senses are heightened.
We take the elevator up to the fifth floor. I don’t know what’s here, but we round the corner to the nurse’s station where the older woman behind the counter greets Derek like they’re old friends.
“Didn’t expect to see you in here tonight, Dr. Tanner,” she says.
“Hey, Mary, this is Willette. She’ll be joining me,” he says, before walking past her.
The woman looks at me and nods, not a lick of judgment in her eyes, which is a relief. We approach a set of doors and overhead it reads:TANNER CHILDREN’S CANCER CENTER.
Oh. My. Gravy. What?Confusion overcomes me, and I’m left wondering what the hell we’re doing here. Derek’s face is filled with pure happiness. There’s an excitement in his eyes.
We step into the first room, and he shouts over the chatter. “Hey, guys!”
Four kids look up from what they’re doing, and they’re all smiles as they jog over to Derek, their hands outstretched. They cover him in hugs and hellos as he pats them on top of their heads and backs and gives them high-fives.
“This is my friend, Willette,” he tells them, pointing toward me.
All the kids turn and wave to me, saying hello and complimenting my dress.
“Hi,” I say, a large smile plastered on my face. I couldn’t even say what’s driving it, but the energy rolling off Derek and the kids is absolutely infectious.
“We brought some things for you,” Derek says, pulling the bags down from his shoulders and handing me one again. He opens his bag and I follow suit as the kids gather around to pick a stuffed animal from the piles.
A little girl shoves a couple of them aside before picking up the little pink elephant in my bag and tucking it against her chest. Her head is covered in a bright pink sock hat, and I can tell her hair is gone. It tugs at my heart in a way I didn’t expect it to.
“I like your bracelet,” she says, running her fingers over the little gold chain I’m wearing. A little heart-shaped locket dangles from it with a rose etched into the front.
“Thank you,” I say. Then, surprising even myself, I set the bag of stuffed animals down and remove the chain from my wrist, handing it over to the girl. “Here,” I say. “It doesn’t have any picture inside so you can add your own.”
“Really?” The girl’s eyes well up and I have to choke back my own tears, as I feel them rimming mine. I nod, too afraid my voice will crack if I try to speak.
I look up to see Derek’s eyes fixed on me, the look on his face one I’ll remember quite possibly forever. His eyes are sparkling, his mouth forming the most perfect, genuine smile. He has the prettiest teeth.
We make our way around to several more rooms, passing out animals to all the children there and depositing the remaining few we have left over to the nurse we passed on our way in.
“Here you go, Mary,” he says. “For the kids that come in this week. Let me know when you run out. I’ll bring more.”
She thanks him, and then we exit back through the doors we came in. When we get to the elevator, Derek turns to me.
“This is what I did with the money I inherited from my father. Hawk got his tattoo shop, and I donated mine to the hospital,” he says.
“I can’t believe I didn’t know that,” I admit. Hawk never mentioned it, nor did Derek or his mom. I’ve been around them all for so long, I feel like this is something someone would’ve mentioned at least in passing.
“I don’t talk about it,” he says. “These kids…I come see them anytime I’m having a bad day, and their happiness and positivity just completely recharges me. Which is crazy to say. Kids with cancer, cheering me up. It doesn’t seem right.”
“I understand,” I say. “These kids are the absolute bravest. I’m sure they put a lot of things into perspective for you.”
He nods, and I know we’re on the same page.
“Can I ask you a question?” I ask.
“Sure,” he says.
“Why did you show me, if you don’t really talk about it with anyone?”
His face contorts for a moment, as if he’s deep in thought. “I guess I just thought you would appreciate it. And I think it’s important for you to know things about me that you didn’t before.”
I nod once again, understanding his meaning.
