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“Do they work?”
“Barely.” He turned to look at Anthony. “You seem calm. How much of it is for my sake?”
“About seventy-two percent.”
“That’s a lot.”
“Could have been seventy-three.”
Ethan shook his head. “We should be losing our goddamn minds.”
“Why? We’ll do it regardless.”
“I’m worried that the four of us have gotten too crazy. Maybe we’re no longer right for one another.”
Anthony tightened his grip on the steering wheel, unease spreading in his stomach. Ethan had been the one who fought for their small group to reunite, and Anthony appreciated that because this was the only family he still had. “I agree that we’re crazier than ever, but it’s better than when we were drifting apart.”
“At least then Chris wasn’t forced to be a whore, and Jay didn’t make me sick.”
Anthony stopped himself from saying that without the craziness, he and Ethan would have likely never ended up together. It was a selfish thought, yet wasn’t he currently driving toward a nightmare out of unselfish reasons?
They passed a billboard for a job recruitment firm. ‘Need help finding your next tech experts? Give us a call!’That reminded Anthony of Ethan’s job interviews. “Have you heard anything from the places you’re interviewing with?”
“Yeah, I got an offer.”
“What?!”
Ethan chuckled. “Don’t sound so shocked.”
“I’m not shocked, but holy smokes, you have an offer?”
“Yep, but I still need to go over the contract. I said I’d update them on Monday.”
Anthony slowed to a stop for a red light, and he used the opportunity to pull Ethan in for a kiss. “I’m proud of you,” he said, then someone honked from behind when the light changed.
“Thank you. Just imagine, this weekend could’ve been all about us celebrating and you popping my cherry.”
Heat reached Anthony’s cheeks. “We will celebrate soon... and also do the other thing.”
Ethan put his hand on Anthony’s leg. “The other thing? Is someone a bit shy?”
Anthony had no right to feel shy about anything after what he’d done with Chris and Tobias, not to mention the random men in the club. Yet with Ethan, it somehow felt like how it had been before the vortex of sex and control pulled him in.
“I am a bit shy about this, but aren’t you nervous?”
“Nervous? I’m scared shitless,” Ethan said.
“Then we don’t have to do this if—”
“Ant, I’m not being forced. You and I need to be on the same level for us to work. If I end up hating it, I’m sure you’ll be considerate.”
“Of course I will.”
They arrived at Sayville and parked in a wide parking lot next to the pier, where a ferry should take them to Cherry Grove on Fire Island.
“Chris will be here in a few minutes,” Ethan said and opened the door. “Let’s wait outside.”
The air felt sweet, warm but not too hot. They walked along the water, where small boats were tied to the dock. Seagulls flew above, noisilysquawking. Their ferry was close by, already letting people on board. Seeing the ferry somehow made the entire thing more real, more imminent. Anthony could have used some of Ethan’s breathing exercises right then.
