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Not once have these guys made me feel like a fuck up. And maybe that’s because they don’t know my history – although from things Wint has said about the club’s security I think he must know at least a little of it. But the point is, this is the firsttime I’ve felt like I belong. Or could belong. I’m happy. I like working at the club. I want to experience more. And I want to do that with my bosses.
Unfortunately, I’ll have to save the memories in my mind for now, because I know this can’t last.
Refusing to let that thought drag me down and spoil the next few days, I push it to one side. I know that tonight is going to be great. If it’s anything like yesterday, it’s going to be an adventure – which fills my body with tingles of anticipation.
NORTH
You’d think that getting my dick wet would put me in a better mood, but no.
Well, it did for a while. I’ve never slept so late, or so well. I’ve never wanted to sleep – just sleep – with someone before, let alone hold a woman in my arms all night long. Therightnessof how she felt there has both soothed and shaken me.
And that’s almost as much of a problem for me as what just transpired upstairs.
Hindsight’s a wonderful thing. I felt amazing upon leaving Candy’s room. There was a peace and clarity that settled over me that I gave up searching for long ago. But it hit me like a ton of bricks in the shower: I should never have brought her home from the club in the first place. Shouldn’t have slept in her bed last night, cradled in my arms. And I certainly shouldn’t have fucked her this morning. I’ve broken all the rules for this woman. Because I feel so much more than attraction for her, and I don’t know where those feelings have come from.
This is why we never have women here. I should never have told Don to bring her here. The whole thing is a clusterfuck. I cannot fall for my employee – a temporary one at that –especially not when I know my brothers are fooling around with her, and possibly falling for her, too.
I stomp downstairs hoping it’s late enough that everyone will have left to run whatever errands they need to do today, but no, it’s just my shitty luck that when I walk into the kitchen, they’re all sitting around the breakfast table grinning at me like idiots.
“Fuck off,” I mutter before they can say anything, grabbing a double espresso from the machine. It’s scalding hot so one of my brothers must have made it for me recently. Normally I don’t even begin to function until I’ve had my second cup, but today I’m grabbing it out of habit, needing the comfort rather than the caffeine. Candy was more than enough to wake me and get me raring to go today, and I wonder what it would be like to wake up next to her every morning.
Fuck.
“That’s a bit harsh,” Wint says. “You’re in a mood this morning.”
“You’re right. I’m in a foul fucking mood,” I growl. I wasn’t, but the weight of my regret, of my mistake, of my feelings, is pressing down on me.
It doesn’t matter how I feel about her; I crossed a line. It’s one thing to fool around with Candy at the club where there are contracts and rules in place, quite another to fuck around in my home with my employee and our guest. It’s unforgivable and I owe her an apology at the very least.
“I guess you didn’t get laid,” Wint says, his eyes crinkling with amusement.
“Though it sounded like you did to the rest of the house,” Don quips.
Everyone laughs.
Can they not see how bad this is? Maybe it’s okay for them to cross these lines, but I’m essentially the boss, the face of operations, the one people look up to. I have to lead by example,and I have to be exemplary at all times. If our members found out I crossed the line of trust…it’s everything we’ve built our business on and yet my brothers are looking at me like it’s some fucking joke. No big deal. Why can’t they see this for the catastrophe it is?
“Fuck you,” I spit.
I need to get out of here. I glance at the clock. It’s already past eleven. Shit. I storm toward the door, but Dash stops me with a hand on my shoulder. How did he move so fast? “Will you at least tell us what happened?”
I want to tell him to mind his own damn business. Don’t I have a right to privacy anymore? But I know that it’s my own shame and guilt making me defensive so I say nothing.
“Where is she?” Frost asks coldly, but I’m not fucking buying his icy attitude towards her at all. He’s got it as bad as the rest of us, which is a real fucking problem. I can’t…no woman could ever come between us. We’ve been through too much to let that happen. It’s why we fuck around and keep women away from the house. I’d never give a female the power to tear us all apart.Not after Tessa.
I shut that shit down. I refuse to even think that bitch’s name.
Besides, if word got out that all five of us…it doesn’t bear thinking about. This could cost us not only our plans to expand ’For Me’ but both clubs too.
“She’s probably in the shower or some shit. Fucked if I know or care,” I lie with hostility born of my own pent-up frustration. I’m choosing to answer Frost’s question and ignore Dash’s.
“Sit down,” Wint tells me.
“Why?” I challenge, my muscles tight with fury. It’s myself I’m mad at, not my brothers. Which is why I need to get out of here; I need to sort my fucking head out. Fucking Candy this morning was a mistake. At worst, it should have got her out of my system. But that’s not what’s happened. She’s burrowed herway in deeper. She’s under my skin and making herself at home in my heart, and Ican’thave that.
“Because we have some shit to discuss while she’s not around.”
I take a deep breath, forcing myself to relax. Work. Fine. I can focus on that. It’ll probably do me good. Distract me from thoughts of Candy’s thighs wrapped— Fuck’s sake!
