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No. I’ve already lost so much, sacrificed so much. The others too. If I thought for a second that this was real love, there’s no way I could do it.
“I’m not feeling very brave right now,” Malia replies, a single, lonely tear slipping down her cheek as the chorus begins to play. It’s heartbreaking. Her bottom lip trembles even as she tries to hide her fear with a watery, tight smile. I hate it.
There’s no hiding it though. Her fear scents the air, thick and heavy. And we’re to blame for it.
Fuck. This sucks. The guys are going to hate me forever. They’re never going to forgive me for this.Will I ever forgive myself?
“Do you need a minute?” My voice comes out gruffer than I intended, and she flinches. I don’t need to make eye contact with the guys to know they’re all glaring daggers at me right now. If Malia asks for a minute, I’ll give it to her. Hell, if she asked us not to do this, I’d obey her every wish.
The prophecy was clear; this is what’s right. So why does it feel so wrong? Like I’m about to drive a knife through my own heart.
“Breathe, Vance,” Malia says softly, coming over to take my hands in hers. Her skin is so soft, the way her thumbs make soothing circles on the backs of my hands feels like velvet, but it’s my name on her lips that flays me. She never calls me Vance. “You can do this. You’re not alone.”
“I should be reassuring you.” I stare into her beautiful eyes, which are wide but without fear. All I can see is her concern for me. I shake my head. What right do I have to need her comfort?
“I’m ready,” she replies, calm, steady, sure.
“This way then,” I say, guiding her over to the stone altar with my hand on the small of her back. The heat of her skin burns me and I long to pull her into my arms and race away from here with her.
I can’t do this.
I hold her hand as she climbs up onto the dais.This is wrong.The others are still glaring at me but whenever their gazes land on Malia, all I can see is their heartbreak. Being the bad guy sucks.
On the dais, Malia perches on the edge of the altar and studies us intently.
“What is it, Mai-Tai?” Cove asks gently.
“You…just…”
“What is it?” I prompt, as gently as I can. It still comes out a little rough and everyone glares at me like the asshole I am.
“It’s just…” She sighs before continuing. “All my life I never really knew love. I never saw it in real life, and I never believed that shit I saw in films and read about in books.”
I frown, wondering where she’s going with this.
“But then you guys came along. And you showed me what real love could look like. Th-the love you have for your queen, your people and your world…the sacrifices you’re willing to make…that’s the kind of love I want— would have wanted. If things were different.”
She thinks we’re making sacrifices? When she’s the one who—
I shake my head, but I don’t know what to say to that. The guys shuffle uncomfortably too. They can’t declare their love for Malia, not when they’re about to end her life, and it feels clichéd or patronising to say anything else. Instead, Reef just squeezes her hand and gives her a tight smile.
“I lo—” Cove begins but the words die on his lips.
Malia looks at him with understanding. “Don’t make this even harder.”
“In a different world, we’d have loved you like you deserve,” Bhodi murmurs darkly, too low for Malia to hear.
I grimace. He’s right of course. Malia would be very easy to love. If things were different. I hear the elder’s voice in my head, and I’m transported back to that day in the council.
You are so bitter. Your soul threads are twisted and frayed. Tangled so badly we fear you might never find your way home. If you are to find The Star to save our queen and our people, you must first save yourself. Sacrifice everything. When the time comes, Omí Saidé, you will have to make a choice. And I fear that the weight of our world doesn’t rest on The Star’s shoulders, but on yours.
What does it mean? If they’d justhelp.Maybe this could be avoided.
“I’m ready. Are you?”
Malia cuts through my twisted self-loathing and second guessing. It’s now or never, like she said.
Never! Choose never!
