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I just hope I can make her proud because she’s all I have left.
one
Dakota
FIVE MONTHS LATER
“Sissy,hurryup!We’regonna be late!”
“What do you mean? We have like forty-five minutes before we have to be there.” I turn to my little sister, who is almost six years old and frenzied about being on time to kindergarten.
“Yeah, well I really want to see my friend’s squishy animal she’s bringing in for show and tell. She promised to show it to me before anyone else gets to see it.” Emsley has her backpack on, lopsided as she hops in place.
Keys?Check.
Shoes?Working on it.
Driver’s license?Check.
Breakfast…
I shovel some dry cereal into my mouth before rushing to get my Converse on.
“Ready to go then, little bug?” I ask Emsley as I shove my laces inside my shoes because who ties their shoes anymore?
“Umm, I love you, DJ, but your hair is kinda messy.” She stops hopping in place and lands a hand on her hip.
I roll my eyes and giggle; I love this little girl but, man, is she shameless in the way she insults me.
I plod sarcastically to the bathroom so I can remedy my appearance. These days I’m lucky to even get to wash my face, so I settle for a bare face full of freckles and outfits that consist of sweatpants and t-shirts.
I have a ton of late nights at the hospital, and when I’m not working, I’m taking care of my mom, so my sleep schedule is fucked. But I agree with my kid sister that I need to take better care of myself.
I take a brush through my thick, straight strands. I notice a coffee stain on my shirt, and I huff inwardly before deciding to rush back into my room to change it out. The last thing I want to do is embarrass my little sister at school drop off.Because that would be the end of the world.
If my mom hadn’t been so out of sorts, maybe I’d be able to sleep a little better or avoid having to take my sister to school this morning. I’ve only had to take her once since she started kindergarten this year. It’s something my mother loves to do. But her mental health is not doing so well, so she asked me to take over this morning.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. It’s just a bit off-center for me; going from independence and navigating the rocky waters of life on my own to now needing to help guide two other full-ass human beings at the same time. All while my entire life had been flipped upside down.
“Okay. Better?” I ask as I walk back down the hall toward a very impatient Emsley.
“Much. Now can we go? I have squishy animals to see!” I laugh at her as she makes her way out the door.
Her ponytail swings behind her as she makes a dramatic turn; her hair color is more of a brownish red to my copper tones and her eyes are more blue than green, but they shine almost hazel when the sun hits them just right.
I never imagined being an older sister, or a sibling at all if I’m being honest. My dad spoiled me growing up and my parents never really talked about having more kids after me. But a year after my dad had passed—seven years ago—my mother fell down a deep, dark hole for all of twelve seconds and ended up getting knocked up by a guy named Dexter. That’s how I became an older sister.
We pull up to the parking lot of Little Creek Elementary and find a parking space. We’re about fifteen minutes early, which causes Em to throw a fit of excitement considering the first time I took her to school we were late, triggering Emsley’s perfect attendance record to be tarnished.
I didn’t realize how important those kinds of things could be. My mom has been so good with my little sister, and now it’s up to me to pick up some of that slack, seeing as my mom is voluntarily confined to bed rest most of her days.
I hold Emsley’s hand as we cross the parking lot to the front of the school. She eagerly guides me to the side of the building and past a playground until we arrive at the kindergarten deck.
“What time is it?” she asks as she looks around enthusiastically.
I check my phone. “It’s ten minutes till eight,” I tell her.
“She said she’d be here by now. She’s always early.” She squeezes my hand a bit tighter as she scans the crowds of parents arriving with their kids.
