AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I squeeze my eyes shut and look away, hoping maybe I can force the memories to disappear if I try hard enough. I inhale slowly, trying to catch my breath. I can’t do this to myself.
I get back into the car and speed away, knowing that being there, reliving that moment over and over again, would only make me feel worse.
The apartment is cold and dark and empty with only a couch that we left behind when I moved out. The whole situation seems strange. Of course, I don’t want to stay here tonight, but the thought of going home, toourhome, makes my stomach churn. I feel a wave of regret wash over me as I think back to how quickly I agreed to move in with Callan.Do I really even know him?
I don’t know how to process this. The mess that’s laid out so cynically in front of me.
I only know that I want it to stop.
The pain.
The heartbreak.
I lower myself to the worn-down couch and curl up, wishing I could bury myself in a blanket. It’s a bad nightmare and maybe when I wake up, it’ll all be over.
I’m awoken by my phone violently buzzing. The late afternoon sun peeks through the small window, the harsh rays making me squint as I try and shake the sleepiness.
A text from Callan sits at the top of my notifications, along with the several missed phone calls before that.
My dad is in the hospital. He had a heart attack.
I’m still reeling from the shock of what I found out a few hours ago, I definitely don’t know how to react to this on top of everything. This can’t be happening right now.
And then another one comes through.
I’ll leave you alone if you need space. You can have the penthouse to yourself, I’ll find somewhere to stay. But please let me know when I can come talk to you. I promise I can explain.
My heart sinks.
I’m sad and torn apart. I never should’ve gotten my hopes up for a future with him. This whole time, it was Callan. All I can think about is how much time I’ve wasted with this person, with this monster. How could he live his life with this kind of secret hanging over his head?
I wipe the sleepiness from my eyes as I walk to the bathroom. I run cold water from the sink, splashing my face in hopes that it’ll wake up my brain and give me all the answers. I look in the mirror. Even when I was at my worst before, I was at least able to recognize myself. But now, I see a stranger.
The product of a broken heart.
But I still care about him. Those feelings won’t go away overnight, no matter what.
I start to dial Callan’s number, my fingers hesitating over his name. I feel numb, especially as I hit the call button and the phone starts to ring. It only rings once before Callan’s voice comes through on the other line.
“Sterling?” His voice is raspy and deep, and desperate. “Please talk to me.”
I sit quietly, looking out the window as the sun starts to set behind the mountains. I take a second to calm my breathing and think about what I want to say. I hate how just the sound of his voice can elevate my heart rate so quickly.
“I care about you, Callan, so much. And it scares me how quickly that’s happened. I think that’s why we need space,” I whisper into the phone and my heart breaks a little more.
“Space?” I hear the waver in his tone, he’s scared. He knows he messed up. “Don’t do this, Sterling. I’ll pay for your medical bills. I’ll turn myself in. I had no clue that was you, I swear. It was a mistake. I need you Sterling.”
I pull the phone away from my ear, not wanting to hear his begs and pleads. I can’t take any more pain right now and I definitely don’t want to feel sorry for him.
“I don’t want your money, Callan,” I say as I bring the phone back up to my ear, tears involuntarily streaming down my face.
“Then what do you want? What can I give you right now? Name it. I’ll give you anything. Just tell me what to do Sterling.” His voice is shaky, like he’s on the verge of crying.
“Give me space,” I whisper lightly as my heart races in my chest.
“I don’t want to give you space,” he responds.
“I just…I need time.”
