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I laugh at the idea. These shows are stupid. And I guess I’m okay with not findingthe onebecause in all honesty, I need to get my life together before I even think about bringing someone else into the mix.
Suddenly, I feel myself dozing off. The soft knit of the blanket wraps me into the smooth velvet couch as my eyes drift to the frosted window, snow gently falling outside.
“Sterling?” I hear a faint voice enter my head as I try to open my eyes. “Sterling, honey?”
I open my eyes to Mrs. Chen’s long, beautiful legs standing in front of me. I immediately bolt up and frantically start to apologize.
“I’m so sorry, I must have dozed off.” I stand up and start folding the blanket, trying to shake off the sleepiness.
“It’s okay,” she chuckles. “It happens to the best of us.” She helps me to my feet and hands me my phone, which had fallen to the floor. “I’ve fallen asleep plenty, back in my babysitting days.” She tries to make me feel better.
“I’m so sorry I’m getting home later than planned but thank you again for being available to watch Sara tonight. Your coat is by the door and your payment is tucked safely in your purse,” she adds.
I check my phone and realize it’s almost midnight. I’m glad I slept a little, knowing I have to be back at the cafe tomorrow at 8am. As I put on my shoes and coat, I ask Mrs. Chen how her night was. She tells me it was pretty uneventful. Like last time, I notice that her husband did not follow her home which is weird, considering it was supposed to be date night.
“It started snowing pretty heavily, so please be careful. I’ll see you next week.” She opens the door and waits for me to get to my car safely before closing it behind me.
I hurry to my car trying to avoid getting snow in my hair, as it frizzes like a troll when it’s wet. I close the door to my 1998 Chevy Cavalier, hoping and praying that it starts. Half the time it gives me trouble just because it’s cold outside, so I have low expectations right now, as it’s snowing like all hell.
I turn the key, and it makes a rattling sound but doesn’t turn over. Figures. I try again, this time cranking the key harder, and again, nothing. I throw my head back and sigh heavily. “Please, universe. Don’t do this to me,” I whisper into the air, my breath leaving steam in place of my words. I try my hand at the ignition again and miraculously, it rumbles over, and the engine gives life. Thank God.
The roads are bad. The plows obviously haven’t been out yet and it doesn’t help that the snow covers my windshield faster than my wipers can fight back, leaving my view fogged and frosty. Winters in Colorado are the worst. We’re in the middle of what everyone calls “second winter” because it’s the beginning of March and we’re still getting blizzards, while the rest of the country is preparing for spring.
I vividly remember a similar snowstorm, years ago, that my parents swore wasn’t as bad as it looked. I was six and my brother was about eleven. My parents took us toChuck E. Cheesethat night; I think my dad actually slid through a four way stop on the way there, but he said nothing would stop the Cooper family from having an adventure. We ate pizza and played games. We worked together to win as many tickets as possible. The ball drop was my favorite, I even figured out the timing to drop the ball straight into the jackpot. Graham would climb up the ramp to Skee-Ball and throw the ball into the one-hundred-thousand slot when the workers weren’t paying attention. My mom and dad faced off shooting hoops on the basketball game, laughing at one another when they missed a basket. We used the tickets to buy the silliest little prizes like cheap-ass slinkies, a stuffed animal that looked like a mix between a cat, a racoon, and a goat, and I remember Graham bought ten packages of jacks, but we didn’t care. We were just having fun. On the ride home, I remember falling asleep in the back of the car to the sight of my mom and dad holding hands in the front seat. It was bliss.
Suddenly, I’m forced awake by a blaring horn and bright white lights.Shit.I fell asleep at the wheel. I swerve out of the other lane, avoiding a head on collision with the car speeding at me. My car spins several times before stalling, then coming to a complete stop in the middle of the road. My heart is pounding uncontrollably. Jesus, that could have ended much worse.
I try to turn my car back on but this time, there’s no noise. It doesn’t rumble, stir, or growl. Nothing. I attempt to gather my thoughts and figure out what to do, when another pair of headlights comes barreling down the road straight toward me. I don’t have time to think before impact. I’m thrown back with force, the airbags come bursting out of my dashboard, the horn starts blaring, and through the snowstorm, smoke fills the air. I hear glass shatter, my safety belt is locked, and my legs are trapped under the steering wheel. My head starts to feel heavy and finds its way crashing down to the steering wheel; my eyes fall shut and now the only thing I see now are the back of my eyelids.
two
Callan
Mydriver,Gerald,dropsme off and I walk through the double glass doors of my all-too-familiar childhood home. I head straight to the bathroom, turn on the faucet and notice that my hands are shaking for the first time in my life. I splash cold water over my face and look in the mirror. I don’t even recognize the person staring back at me.
I grip the sink with my hands as I take a deep breath. I’ve never felt so out of control before. My whole life has been made up of rules and regulations, like a damn contract handed over by my father.
I have cancer.
As I stare back at my reflection, my eyes are clouded with dark circles and my deep brown hair is a scrambled mess. I think about why I acted out when my father called me and told me he has cancer, why what he said angered me so damn much.
I have cancer.
He said it like it didn’t matter to him. Like it didn’t matter to me. And maybe it doesn’t. Maybe I don’t care. Maybe I’m just pissed because he knew we were celebrating a big night tonight, my first since I’ve been in control of the company and as usual, he needed to steal the spotlight.
I look back down at my hands, and I can’t stop them from shaking. I’m so pissed off that this situation took a turn for the worst. So pissed, that it causes me to throw my fist into the mirror.
The glass shatters, spilling all over the counter, shards glistening with the running water. It doesn’t shock me when I look up and see my dad standing in the doorway, staring back at me behind unamused eyes. He turns back into the hallway. I reach over for the hand towel and clean up the blood from my knuckles before joining him.
“What’s your problem?” My dad takes a seat at his desk and motions for me to do the same as I follow him into his office. The dark cherry wood of his desk seems darker than normal as the blackout curtains are pulled shut, leaving only the sconces stuck in the wall to provide dim lighting around us.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I shout in question without thinking.
He shuffles his position in his chair.
“Don’t play dumb. You know what you did.” I try to keep it together, but I can’t control my irritation. This is probably exactly what he wanted to happen. He wanted me to need him for something.
“Callan. I understand this may seem-”
