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“I was going to eat them,” I lied.
“Dude. You were never going to eat them.” Sam was already heading for the door. “Now let’s go help your dad.”
I flipped him off behind his back. And immediately felt like an asshole, because he was here to help my dad, and also, he wasn’t wrong. So I mouthed the wordsI’m sorry, even though he couldn’t see that, either. Then I grabbed my keys and wallet.
“Fine,” I grumbled. “But we’re stopping for breakfast.”
Chapter 28
Nora
Ithadbeenavery long day, and I was so ready for it to be over. I turned onto my street with a sigh of relief. I could spend the evening in my pajamas, brooding with a mug of hot cocoa. I hadn’t eaten all day, because every time I thought of food, I thought of my uneaten bagels at Michael’s house and lost my appetite. But that wasn’t healthy, so maybe I’d order a pizza. I sure as hell wasn’t cooking, and anyway, heartbreak deserved pizza, right?
Then I pulled into my driveway and my dreams of brooding and cocoa fizzled and died.
Suzie was there. On my porch swing.
Plotting my death, no doubt.
I slowly exited the car and walked toward my friend with feet that felt as heavy as lead. “Hey,” I said.
“Hey.” Suzie tilted her chin to look at me.
I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. “I guess Michael told you?”
“Sam.”
“Ah.”
“He thought, considering how Michael was this morning, that maybe I should come and check on you. See if you’re okay.”
“I’m not okay,” I told her honestly.
“No, I didn’t really think you would be. Sit down, honey.” She scooted over and patted the space next to her on the swing. I sighed and took a seat. “What happened?”
“I thought Sam told you.”
“He told me Michael’s side. I want to hear your side.”
I shook my head. “I don’t have a side. Whatever Michael said, that’s what happened.” I was sure of this, that he wouldn’t tell them I was crazy or try to make me look bad. No, I could do that all on my own. All he would do was tell the truth.
Suzie was quiet for a moment. “I just…I don’t get it. Michael didn’t cheat on you. I know my brother and there’s no way. He doesn’t cheat. Plus, it’s Alison. I mean, comeon.”
“This may come as a shock to you, but there’s a good chance that Michael doesn’t feel the same way about Alison that you do. He was in love with her, he married her, and he doesn’t really blame her for what happened to end all that. Also, he declined my offer to whack her with a fly swatter. I think that says a lot.”
“It says he’s a moron, that’s what it says,” Suzie muttered. “She totally deserves to be whacked. But honestly, Nora, youknowMichael didn’t cheat on you. Right?”
Oh, hell. Now we were in dangerous waters.
“It’s complicated,” I said carefully. Suzie’s face did an excellent impression of a thunderstorm, so I quickly added, “I don’t think he cheated. Not exactly, I mean. I believed him when he told me she was only there to talk. But then, it’s like there’s this monster on my shoulder, reminding me that I’ve heard this all before, and I believed it then, too, and so it doesn’t matter if I believe Michael, because I make terrible life choices. So really, I shouldn’t believe myself when I tell myself he’s telling the truth, if that makes any sense.”
Suzie did a slow blink.
So, no. It didn’t make sense.
I plowed forward anyway.
“The monster tells me the only way to know for absolute certainty is to find absolute, positive proof that he is lying, because you can’t prove a negative. I could never prove heisn’tcheating or lying, I mean. So until I find that proof, I have to keep second-guessing myself, wondering what the truth is, searching for that proof. Forever. Because you know what? I’ll never understand. I’ll never understand why someone would ever even do that. Why cheat? Why lie?If you’re so unhappy, why the hell don’t you just leave?” I ended with a shout.
