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Ready to climb the mountain.
Ready to be a mom.
But maybe not the way I had originally planned. I glanced furtively at Michael, who was laughing at something the barista had said. We hadn’t talked about it since the day we had run into Alison at the farmer’s market. He had wanted me to think about it first, he had said.
So now I thought about it. In truth, I hadn’t reallystoppedthinking about it since that moment. I wanted a baby. I wanted children. That hadn’t changed. It was the how and when that was up for debate. Or at least, up for discussion. With Michael.
For now, I was ready to wait. On my own terms, which was an entirely different thing than waiting for someone else.
“Clouds are piling up.” Michael pointed to the sky as we left Hot and Wired and climbed into his truck. “We should be okay, but we might have to cut the hike shorter than we planned.”
“That’s fine.”
And it was fine. I wasn’t feeling nervous at all about Hart Mountain. I was excited, in fact. Over the last few months, I had fallen in love with hiking. Also, I felt prepared, thanks to Michael. Today I was happy just spending time with him.
A call came through and he glanced at me. “Do you mind?”
I shook my head. “Go ahead.”
He hit the accept button on the dashboard screen. “Hi, Rebecca.”
“Hi, Michael.” The voice that came through the speakers was somehow both sultry and cheerful. “I just wanted to touch base. We’re all excited you’re coming. You have the bottom bunk in the bunkhouse, and there’s a small studio apartment in town for when you’re not on shift. You should receive an email today with instructions on where to pick up your keys and all that good stuff.”
“Thanks, Rebecca.”
“Sure. Can’t wait to see you!” She laughed. “God, how long has it been? Two years? Chris can’t wait to see you, either. We’ll have to get a drink and catch up.”
“Absolutely. See you then.”
Michael hung up, smiling.
“Bunkhouse?” My voice came out all gravely. Maybe because my throat felt like I had swallowed a bucket of razor blades.
“Yeah. The service station—more of a hut, really—is where we stay when we’re on call. It has bunkbeds and a small kitchen. Not the most comfortable setup, but we’re not really there to sleep.”
“Oh.” I cleared my throat. “How many of you are on shift at a time?”
“Three. We call in more if we need them for bigger rescues.”
“And Rebecca…”
“She’s the supervisor. And yes, she takes shifts like the rest of us.” He glanced quickly at me as we pulled into the trailhead parking lot. “She’s married. Chris is her husband.”
I gave him a tight smile. “That’s nice.”
It was funny how he thought that mattered, Rebecca being married. It hadn’t mattered at all to Grant. Vows and rings didn’t deter infidelity as much as one might hope.
“Nora, look at me.” He touched my cheek gently. “What’s on your mind?”
Nothing good. I shook my head. I wouldn’t let the shadow creep in, not now, not with Michael. He wouldn’t cheat.
But how could I know?
I couldn’t. That had always been the problem.
“I’m fine. Just anxious about you going away for so long, I guess.” It was partly the truth, anyway. “Come on, let’s hike.”
Clouds had gathered steadily during our hike, and we dodged raindrops back to the car. The sky opened up with a solid drenching as we headed down the dirt road. Ten minutes later, the rain was coming down in steady sheets so thick I couldn’t see a foot in front of the car.
