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“I’m just saying, it wouldn’t hurt for you to have a little fun now and then. You spend so much time helping me and your dad or Suzie. Take some time for yourself. Maybe go out on a date with a nice girl.”
“Mom, please stop. We get enough of this from Suzie.”
Her eyes lit up. “We?”
“Me and Colonel Brandon. Her dog,” I deadpanned.
“So the dog approves,” she mused.
I rolled my eyes. “Do I need to remind you that I’m leaving for New Hampshire in less than two months?”
Summer had cooled into autumn. Leaves were changing to red and gold. How had that happened? Three months had felt like an eternity, and now it was almost over. I still owed Sofia a decision.
“I’m not here forever,” I reminded her. “I’m temporary.”
“Oh, Michael.” She sighed and wiped her hands on a napkin. “You’re not temporary. At least, no more than any of us is. Stop trying to convince people to let you go.”
She was talking about more than just my visit to Hart’s Ridge. “Mom, it’s not about that—”
“Itisabout that,” she insisted. “From the moment you left here three years ago, you haven’t stayed put anywhere longer than four months.”
“That’s the nature of the job. I’m a contractor.”
“It’s the nature of the job youchose. You said yourself that you were offered several permanent positions, but you never took them up on it. What about Denver, for example? And Yosemite? That company in South Africa would have taken you, too. You left Hart’s Ridge because it was too painful to see Alison, but Alison wasn’t in Denver or Yosemite. You could have stayed in any of those places, put down new roots, started a family. Do you not want that anymore?”
I didn’t look at her as I cleaned up the mess from dinner, stacking the plates and silverware on the room service tray. “It doesn’t matter what I want. Things are different now. I can’t pretend that I can have the same life as everyone else when I don’t know—” My voice cracked.
“None of usknow, Michael. I might get hit by a car tomorrow. Or get cancer. Any of us could. What matters is that today, you are here. You are alive and healthy and, my goodness, you have so much love to give. That is the most any of us can ask for, and it’s the most any of us can promise to give. Don’t live a half life because you’re scared. You can have a full life, with a family and friends and a home, even if it doesn’t look exactly how you once imagined it would. Who knows? Maybe it will be even better.”
“Better how?” I challenged. Because I really wanted to believe her. If she had an answer, then dammit, she better give it to me.
Mom hesitated, then shot me a sly grin. “I really like Nora.”
I didn’t know whether to groan or laugh, so I did both. I liked Nora, too. A whole hell of a lot, in fact.
But Nora wanted things I could never give her. I hadn’t shared any of that with her, and if I took Sofia up on her job offer, I would have to rectify that. She deserved to know. So she could make an informed decision about our relationship, if location was no longer an issue. But I didn’t doubt for a second what that decision would be. I knew how important kids were to her.
Even if I made my stay in Hart’s Ridge permanent, I would still be temporary to Nora.
Chapter 17
Nora
TheweekMichaelwasgone felt like an entire month. I missed him. I missed him with a clawing hunger that surprised me. My body had grown accustomed to regular orgasms and was not pleased with the sudden deprivation. But it was more than that. I missed talking to him. I missed listening to him. I missed all the little things that were just him, like the way he smelled and the way his brown eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled.
Which explained why, when my phone buzzed with a text Thursday afternoon, I dove for it like I was scoring the winning point in one of those sports events with balls in it, knocking several things off my desk in my eagerness.
Plane just landed. Sam is picking us up from the airport. Want me to swing by your place when you’re off work?
I did a happy little shimmy in my chair. Yes, I absolutely wanted that. I typed back a quick yes and then refocused my attention on work. I needed to wrap up this last form and then I could leave. I’d be home in plenty of time to freshen up before Michael got there. Maybe this time I could actually surprise him with pretty lingerie.
Twenty minutes later I was out the door and heading home. I stopped by the grocery store to pick up ingredients for lasagna, enough to double the recipe. Michael and I could eat one for dinner, and I would drop the other one off at Suzie’s tomorrow. It had to be rough keeping a family of six fed when she barely had time to brush her hair.
I showered and blow dried my hair while the lasagnas were in the oven. I was considering clothing options when my phone buzzed.
Bad news. Sam needs my help taking down a tree. The storm yesterday did some damage, and he’s afraid one of the branches will crash on the roof. See you tomorrow?
I bit my lip. Well, that completely sucked. Time felt slippery, knowing he would be leaving soon, and every moment with him felt vital and precious. But what could he do about it, ditch his sister? I knew the tree he was talking about, because Suzie had told me this morning that one limb was now hanging by a twig. It was big enough that it would do serious damage if it fell on the roof. Michael wouldn’t let that happen to his little sister.
