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Well, wasn’t that fucking perfect.
And I was definitely going to be late to work.
The front door opened before I had a chance to knock, and I felt myself grabbed in a tight hug by Ruth.
“Nora! It’s been too long.”
I blinked hard.Do not cry, Nora.What was left of my mascara would not hold up.
Sixteen years. That’s how long I had known this woman. For the first five years I had dated Grant, she was Ruth. After the wedding, I called her Mom, because that’s what she felt like—a second mom. Maybe even a closer mom, since my own had moved to Arizona right after my high school graduation, which coincided with my parents’ divorce and my dad’s subsequent move to Italy with his girlfriend. Mom never liked North Carolina, so the visits only go one way: me to her.
Now I was back to calling this woman Ruth again and that hurt. Maybe even as much as it hurt to lose Grant. Maybe, deep deep down in my soul, it hurt even more.
That’s the thing no one tells you about divorce. You don’t only lose a spouse. You lose a whole family. A mom, a dad, a sister, a brother. Inside jokes and holidays and shared history. I had thought they wouldalwaysbe my family.
I was wrong.
I pulled free from Ruth’s embrace. “Hi, Grant. And Laurie.” I smiled blandly at his wife. “How are you?”
“Running late,” Grant said with a glance at his watch.
Laurie said nothing because Laurie always said nothing. I had come to expect that. She seemed nice enough, despite that whole-ass affair she’d had with my husband, but she definitely seemed to prefer that Grant do all the talking. It wasn’t my problem, so I didn’t waste a lot of time worrying about it.
“Can you stay for a cup of coffee?” Ruth asked.
I shook my head. “I have to get to work.”
“Oh.” Her gaze traveled down my wrinkled dress.
“My friend had her baby last night,” she said by way of explanation, even though it really didn’t explain anything at all.
“You must have come here straight from the hospital,” Grant said, eyeing me.
Actually, I came here straight from Michael’s arms. Much to my chagrin. “I wasn’t expecting to pick up Brandon until after work. I thought I would have time to shower and change before work.”
“You misunderstood.” His tone was firm. Laurie, who had been looking at me, looked away at his words. “Next time you make these arrangements, write it down so it’s clear to both of us who’s responsible for what. You can’t assume I know what you want. I’m not a mind reader.”
“I know.” I rubbed my forehead, frustrated.
This had always been our problem, since before we were married. Even when I thought I knew exactly where we stood, I was wrong. And I hated it. I hated how slippery words became between us. It was like we spoke different languages, except the language he spoke wasn’t a real language at all, but some form of gibberish only understandable by Grant.
And somehow, even though Iknewit was gibberish, I was the one who was wrong, the one who misunderstood. Always.
Funny. The divorce broke my heart, but it was the actual marriage that brokeme. My soul, my mind, everything got twisted up until nothing made sense anymore. And standing there now, wondering how I had once again screwed up a simple communication, I knew one thing for sure.
I would never be right again. Not in the way I needed to be if I wanted to be in a healthy relationship. Healthy relationships require trust, and I couldn’t do that anymore. It wasn’t just that I couldn’t trust a man. I wasn’t so jaded I was convinced all men cheat. Look at Sam. Look at Eli and Max. They would never cheat. Hell, even Luke, because he might get around, but he did that with integrity.
But it wasn’t about cheating. Not really. Trust was about everything. It was whether someone would catch you when you fell, and whether they would allow you to do the same for them. I couldn’t trust a man because I couldn’t trust myself. How could I trust the person I was in a relationship with if I couldn’t even trust myself?
Luckily, a relationship wasn’t what I wanted at all.
Chapter 7
Michael
Ah,bliss.Forthefirst time in eighteen hours I was alone. It was a nice feeling.
Suzie and Sam would be home in another couple hours. Mom had come by ten minutes ago and swooped up all three kids to take them shopping for a homecoming gift for their new baby brother. I admired her courage. But then, after dealing with Dad, maybe three reasonably well-behaved kids was a breeze.
