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Part of me was worried because I didn’t want to hurt any of these men. They were all special to me; it had been years since I was interested in even one person. Much less three brothers at once. I didn’t want to mess it up. When I tried to mention this concern to Ethan, he was already asleep. I surrendered to the part that longed to let those concerns go for the night and lived in the moment, curled up against him.
I slept at Ethan’s, safe and arm in his arms. Exhausted and happy, I slept a deep, dreamless sleep for the first time in a long time.
13
LEO
Madison’s shop smelled richly of coffee and cinnamon when I opened the door.
“We open in half an hour,” she said. When I didn’t respond, she looked up from where she placed scones in the glass case and saw me. “Hi Leo, sorry, I didn’t know it was you. Can I get you a cup of coffee?”
She poured a cup of strong coffee and handed it to me. I took a grateful drink and leaned on the counter. “How’s it going?”
“Okay, how are you?” She seemed subdued, unsure.
“Curious. About what’s wrong. Because you’re not looking me in the face,” I said.
She abandoned the scones and came around the counter. I set down my cup and she came straight into my arms. I folded her in my arms and waited. She was so tense, and her hands were cold through the fabric of my shirt. Her face was buried in my chest between my pecs, her breath warm against my shirt.
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Tell me and we’ll figure it out,” I told her confidently. She shook her head, still hiding her face from me.
“I don’t know how to act about this. I went home with Ethan.”
“Want me to give him a few pointers? Tell him how to up his game?” I teased.
Madison looked up at me then, a furrow between her brows, “You’re not mad?”
“No. Not unless he did something you didn’t want.” She shook her head. “Okay then. Is that all you’re worried about?” I stroked her hair, which was so silky and smelled of almonds. I shut my eyes and breathed her scent in. “I missed you.”
She squeezed me tightly. “Thank you. I missed you, too. I know I’m acting weird. But thisisweird to me.”
Madison stepped back and then kissed my cheek.
“This doesn’t need to feel weird. It’s whatever we want it to be.”
“I wish I had your confidence. I don’t want to hurt you. Or Noah or Ethan. And I don’t want to get hurt. It’s happened so fast. I went from being all alone to having not just one friend I could talk to that I found really attractive… but three of you. It seems greedy and selfish to—I mean, I’d be lucky if just one of you were interested in me.”
“We’re in agreement, Mad,” I said. “We like you and want to know you better and spend time with you. Did you have fun at Ethan’s the other night when we were baking? Wasn’t it easy?”
“It was easy,” she said with a sigh, “But I can’t quite believe in it. Nobody gets to have this, the kind of closeness and understanding with even one person. I can’t begin to tell you how…” she stopped and heaved another sigh.
I took her by the arms and looked in her eyes, serious as I could be.
“Madison, I want this, too,” I told her, my voice sure and even.
I watched her crumple then. As if the brave resignation, the neutral expression she’d held had been nothing more than a smooth, false shell made of porcelain that splintered as she drew a sharp breath that came out as a sob. She covered her face with her hands and cried.
I was shocked and kind of horrified to see her burst into tears like that. I took her wrists and eased her hands away from her face. She shook her head, small, high sobs escaping her.
“What’s wrong?” I said, “Tell me. I’ll help you fix it. But you have to talk to me,” I said, aware that I sounded alarmed beyond what would be a normal reaction of mere concern. It was all I could do not to mutter, ‘oh shit,’ and back away. I didn’t have a problem with people showing their emotions, but this was sudden and intense in more of a bad surprise way than in an endearing vulnerability way. Uneasy, I led her to a chair and pulled another one up so I could sit in front of her without a table between us.
“Hey,” I said, smoothing her hair back from her temple where it was coming loose from its ponytail. “Talk to me, please.”
“I’m just—so,” she broke off in another storm of weeping. I looked around helplessly and finally saw a roll of paper towels which I brought her. She blew her nose a few times and hiccupped.
“What can I do to help?” I offered, trying not to crowd her even though I wanted to draw her into my lap and hold her until she felt safe and knew we had her back no matter what.
