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At last, he fastens the diaper and pats the front. "Would you like to make lemonade here or while watching the movie?"
"Movie," I whisper, shaking on the baby mat. I’m so vulnerable and needy right now, so exposed in every way, but in the very best way, because Daddy is the one taking care of me.
Bryce lifts me into his arms and brings me back to the pillows. He hugs me as he plays the movie again.
Diggers, dump trucks, and working guys fill the screen, each playing a vital role in the building process. A few working guys tease each other, and I squirm because I’m just like them.
I go in Bryce’s arms. Never in my life have I done this, used a diaper in a man's arms. I’m so nervous that it’ll leak out, but Bryce must’ve fastened it correctly, because nothing of the sort happens.
Bryce holds me the entire time I make lemonade. He hums, kisses my head, and keeps me in his firm arms. "Did you go?"
"Yes."
"Yes, what?" Bryce is faking a stern voice.
"Yes, Daddy."
I begin to cry again. I’ve gone now, it’s already happened, and I’m such an emotional wreck right now. Everything about this feels so right, I’m watching diggers, my Daddy is hugging me, and I’m being my true self in an entirely new way.
"Don't cry, baby boy. There’s nothing wrong with letting go with your Daddy. You’re a good boy, and Daddy knows exactly what you’re feeling right now. If there are tears, let them fall. But let them be happy tears, no tears of shame or regret. I like you a whole lot, and I want you to be mine for a very long time."
I squeeze Bob tight as I drift off to dreamland in Bryce’s arms.
This is a perfect night.
Or day.
Or morning.
Whatever it is.
EIGHT
BRYCE
Goodbye, cuddle room.
I turn to look at it one last time as I lead BJ into the main Hug Club playroom.
So much time has passed. One glance at the wall clock in the hallway tells me that it’s close to 5 PM the following day. Snuggle movie night won’t start for a few more hours.
It feels like BJ and I have been snuggling for years. Decades. A lifetime.
One second becomes one hundred in the cuddle room. So many more. Time slows down until it’s stickier than molasses.
I picture myself decorating the cuddle room, placing the toys, stuffies, and pictures in their proper places. I picture setting up our toy dump trucks, and previewing the movie I filmed one final time before I showed it to BJ. It was imperative that everything went off without a hitch and that he saw how serious I was about him.
I entered the cuddle room as a man with a crush and left as a Daddy. BJ left as my boy.
I glance at BJ… and truly think that yes, this is my boy. My sweet boy, perfect in every way. From the way he buries himself in the crook of my lap to the way he accepts my nose kissies. BJ discovered quite a bit about himself over the last however many hours—indeed, he did. He learned that he enjoys wetting, wearing diapers, and losing control of himself in my arms. I’m only happy to oblige. What could make a Daddy happier than a precious angel like BJ letting loose in his arms?
BJ grins at me. "You’re staring at me, Daddy."
You bet your ass I am.
With a smile, I tug his petite body close to mine. "And I won’t even apologize for it."
BJ’s cheeks flush, and he rests his cheek against my belly. I look down, finding the way my body feels lighter already with him by my side.
