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Kiley’s brow furrowed. “Is that what you want?”
I coughed out a laugh. “It’s the way it has to be. He’s gorgeous.”
Molly sat back again with a sigh. “So are you. What’s the point?”
I pressed a finger to my temple. “I don’t fit into his world.”
Kiley rested a hand on my arm on our shared armrest. “I understand completely because I didn’t feel like I’d fit into Ilya’s world either. When we first started thinking about dating, I knew there was nothing special about me.”
Molly surged forward testing the limits of her seatbelt. “Mom!”
Kiley shook her head at Molly and continued, putting both hands back on the steering wheel. “I had doubts all the time about being with him. I didn’t feel sophisticated enough. Other women threw themselves at him. I didn’t feel good enough. We all have insecurities when we consider getting into a relationship. It’s completely normal. But that’s why you have conversations with the person you care about. You talk about those insecurities and address them together.”
I nodded, but my throat was closed from emotion. I knew she was right. She was giving excellent advice. But she was thin and toned. I wasn’t. It was a different type of insecurity. I tugged my coat closer, trying to hide my flaws. No matter what I did, how I pulled at my clothes or belittled myself, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was too much. There was just too much of me.
Molly’s head popped up next to me. I let out a little yelp of surprise, but it only made her smile. “You’re doing it again. Phoebe, you deserve to be here or anywhere you flapping want to be.”
I felt my breathing speed up. Could she actually read minds?
Molly gave my arm a whack. “No, I can’t read your mind. I can see your body language and it’s telling me everything I need to know.”
I spun around. “Did I say that out loud?”
She nodded with a smirk. “Yeah. But here’s the thing. We all deserve to take up as much or little space as we do, right, Mom?”
Kiley nodded. “There’s no right or wrong. Everyone’s different. I hope Taylor Ridge can show you that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.”
My eyes started pricking at the thought. That maybe I could get my grandmother’s voice out of my head once and for all. That I would have friends who accepted me the way I was.
Molly leaned in close to my ear. “Does Ransom ever tell you how he thinks you look?”
I nodded, but couldn’t speak or I’d start blubbering.
She sat back. “Do you believe him?”
I shook my head no. I couldn’t believe him. He showed me what type of woman he wanted when he fucked Neve.
Kiley gave me a patient smile. “Have you made yourself an option to Ransom?”
I felt my brow furrow.
She checked traffic. “I know you haven’t told him how you feel, but do you give him the opportunity to tell you about his feelings?”
My mouth opened and shut a few times, but no sound came out. “No.” It came out softly as I realized I cut him off from doing just that this morning.
Molly leaned forward again in the center. “Next time let him say what he wants to say. You might learn something.” She flopped back in her seat. “What happened when you stopped assuming things with Peter, Mom? Oh, I call Ilya ‘Peter’. It’s just a thing I do.”
Kiley blushed as she turned into the strip mall parking lot outside A Cut Above. “When I put all my assumptions aside and talked to Ilya, I realized how much he loved me.”
Once she angled the car into a parking place, she turned off the engine and turned to me. “I was just like you in many ways, Phoebe. I was hiding, stuck in my own head, and afraid of getting hurt. I built up walls and didn’t trust easily. But when I found a good man who looked past all of those walls, letting him love me for who I was set me free in a way I never expected. It’s not like I don’t still have moments of self-doubt, but when I do, I have someone to help me through them.”
I forced a smile. Her words made sense. She had her obstacles and I had mine. They were different, yet so much alike that I should listen to her.
Kiley pushed out of the car. Leaving my coat in my seat, I followed her while Molly hopped out of the backseat.
I was impressed by her exuberance. “The leg doesn’t bother in this weather?”
She laughed. “No, it does. I just choose not to give a dingle!”
