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Pulling into a random parking lot, I tugged my phone from my pocket and booked a flight. First one to Manhattan was in five hours. I took a deep breath and texted Harmony. She agreed to take me to the airport, so I drove back to her place to pack.
With a quick survey of the guest room where I stayed, I realized I’d turned this room into a cozy place to store all my memories of places visited, ideas shared, and mementos of friends. Photos, drawings from Omar, fortunes from cookies, and bags of souvenirs sat around me in heaps and chaos. With a sigh, I went from surface to surface collecting my research, tucking souvenirs into side pockets, then staring at the picture of me watching Ransom play hockey. Only then did tears slip down my cheeks.
Swiping at my cheeks, I stared at the notebook full of all the pieces of the puzzle for the Shadow Reaper. I knew he was still out there. I hoped my article would get the police more interested in investigating or at least get someone to consider the possibility that those women were murdered. Since Clarke Communications was well-distributed, it would only be a matter of time before everyone knew of my theory. With any luck, my article would help bring the Shadow Reaper to justice.
As I fumbled my way through packing, a paper fell out of my briefcase. The email about the hacker at Piercing Tides. Looking over the paper, I saw an IP address. Grabbing my computer out, I searched and found it traced back to someone at Bottles Anew. Big fucking surprise.
I fired off a quick text to Dominic to let him know.
He called me back almost immediately. “What happened? Ransom is a mess.”
Pushing the phone to my shoulder, I pulled a few more things to throw in my luggage. “He spoke his truth. I finally understand what he wanted from me. I read his letter, and while it was really sweet, it didn’t say anything about being in love with me. I don’t have to be a psychologist to know what that means. And I’ve finally become too much for him to even want to be around me.”
He tsked me. “Of course he loves you.”
I felt my eyelids close as I replied. “No, I made sense to him. We already cared about each other and I already knew him and his habits. I was convenient and easy. He wanted me because I was the girl he didn’t have to court or romance or do anything more than fuck to show her a good time. And because I was so in love with him and reeked of it, desperate for him and his attention, he went with it.”
“Phoebe!”
I shook my head. “Besides, someone like him couldn’t ever really be in love with someone like me. I knew that and still I let myself get caught up in him. I wanted to believe we could really be something amazing, but the truth is we don’t belong together. He lives in a world where he gives interviews and attends functions. He’s so fucking beautiful that he needs someone who looks like the other hockey wives and girlfriends to match. I never will. So, I’m going back to New York. Maybe we’ll send each other a Christmas card sometime, but I think we both have to face the fact this is goodbye. To you too, Dom. Say sorry to Lori for me.”
When I disconnected the call, tears were already pouring down my cheeks. I knew it was the truth, but it still fucking hurt to say anyway.
When I heard a car pull up at the door, I grabbed a few tissues and tried to mop up.
Meeting Harmony at the door, she searched my face. “You okay?”
I choked out a sob. “Not even a little. Get me out of here, would you?”
Grabbing my suitcase handle, she tossed it into the trunk for me while I fell into the passenger seat sobbing.
As we drove further from Taylor Ridge, I expected freedom to taste sweeter. But the further away we were, the more strangled I felt, like my breath was stolen. My tears hadn’t stopped and I clutched at my chest. I felt like a fish out of water, gulping and gasping. Like I was the one full of plastic and dying. Might as well have been. The man I had loved for the last twenty years just gutted me and left me for dead.
Harmony placed her hand over mine and a calm rushed over me.
That’s when it hit me. This was as it was supposed to be. I was too hard to love. Too much to overcome. Too big to fit into anyone’s life. And this time, no one could tell me it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. I gave it a chance. I gave us a chance. I let Ransom in, let him see me, all of me, and it ended us. Every word he spoke to me from this afternoon echoed in my head. And each time I heard his words, I believed them more and more. The realization brought me down to the depths of despair.
A while later, Harmony angled the car into a parking place. “We’re at the airport, but your flight doesn’t leave for a long time. Thought you might want to talk before you go.”
I nodded. We went inside and found a little café where we ordered a coffee.
Harmony extended her hand across the table and onto mine. “What’s really going on?”
I took a deep breath. “I had a family once. My dad loved me back when my mom was still alive. And he used to say I was perfect. But after my mom died, my grandmother took over as caretaker. My dad slipped into a bottle and never came back out. He was so in love with my mom and blamed me for surviving the car crash when she didn’t. I knew he thought it should have been me who died that day. He came close enough to saying it a few times when he was drunk, but it was his truth. He loved my mom more than me. She was beautiful and perfect. Everything I never was and never could be.”
I heard a tsk across the table. “That’s not why he loved her, Phoebe. He loved her because they were soulmates. And when he lost her, he lost half of himself. When you find your other half, it’s a complete devastation when you lose the love of your life.”
I held onto my cup sniffling. “So, you don’t think he loved me less? Just that he was lost? That he just couldn’t handle life without her?”
Harmony nodded. “Yeah, I think that’s it exactly. Have you tried to talk to him in the last few years?”
I shook my head. “He died last year. I shrugged. “Ransom, Dom, and their Aunt Lori were my true family anyway. But now that Ransom thinks I’m too much, the grief is stronger since I’ve lost them too.”
Harmony squeezed my hand. “What happened, Phoebe?”
My eyes felt thick, heavy. But my mouth ran with ease as I filled her in on the trouble with Ransom’s company.
“I’ll call Kiley and Maddy, Joy, and the guys too, and we’ll help you work this out,” Harmony said pulling out her phone. “You can stay with one of us.”
