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‘Oh yes! Here it is.’ He rifled around in the box on the sofa and pulled out a gold metallic star. ‘Care to do the honours?’ he asked, holding it out to her.
Sophie took the ornament from him and balanced on her tiptoes, reaching to put the star at the top of the tree. She just managed to place it over the very top branch when she lost her balance and saw branches racing towards her face. With lightning-quick reactions, Liam put both hands on Sophie’s waist and pulled her back, stopping her from crumpling to the floor in a heap. She turned to face him, but he didn’t take his hands away.
‘That was close,’ he said, his voice suddenly gruff.
‘A bit too close,’ Sophie said, acutely aware of how close he was to her.
She should have broken eye contact and stood up, but she didn’t. She took in every detail of his face and realised that she’d put her own hands on his arms to brace herself for impact when she’d fallen. Before she could release him and step backwards, Liam leant down and brushed her lips softly with his own.
He pulled back, gazing into her eyes. She realised he was waiting for an invitation to kiss her again. Moving her hands further up his arms was all the invitation he needed and this time, when he leant forward, Sophie did the same and their lips met again. She moved her arm up to loop around the back of his neck, her fingers in his hair. His hands rested on her waist, pulling her close to him.
Sophie’s mind cleared. She didn’t think about Jordan or heartbreak. She didn’t think about school or concerts or Cassie. It was just her and Liam, enjoying the most intense kiss she’d ever had in her life. Her blood pressure rose, and she could feel her heart pumping furiously in her chest. Pulling away, they looked at each other, breathless.
‘I’m sorry, I …’ Sophie said.
‘Don’t be sorry,’ Liam said, kissing her again lightly. ‘I’ve been wanting to do that all afternoon.’
Sophie smiled, her body relaxing. ‘How did you know I’d kiss you back?’
Liam lifted his hand and ran it along her collarbone. Sophie held her breath.
‘I heard you and Kate talking in the coffee shop.’
‘Oh God!’ Sophie grimaced and hid her face behind her hands.
Liam moved her hands away, pulling her closer, and he kissed her again. There was something romantic about the Christmas lights and having just decorated the tree. There was something romantic about Christmas. Their kiss grew deeper. Sophie’s heart pounded in her chest and her skin burnt wherever Liam put his hands, leaving a scorching trail all over her body. He placed a hand on the base of her back and let it graze the skin in the space between her jeans and jumper. Sophie felt her head grow dizzy, her breath shallow.
She jumped back. ‘Sorry, I can’t.’ She looked down at her feet and focused on breathing.
‘That’s OK.’
She could feel him looking at her, but she didn’t dare look at him. Where was this going? What was she thinking? There was no way she was ready for this. She wrapped her arms around her stomach where the ache was strongest.
‘No, it’s not OK.’ Sophie shook her head and adjusted her clothes where Liam had displaced them. ‘I’m sorry, I should never have …’
She knew she liked Liam and the entire week had been building up to this moment. But something felt wrong. It was the first time she’d got close to anyone since Jordan. And suddenly the thought of it terrified her. Surely she would only get hurt? Her breath felt thin, and her heart throbbed. But it wasn’t because of their kiss any more. It was sheer panic. She clutched at her chest.
‘Are you OK?’ Liam asked.
‘I’m fine.’
Liam bit his lip, as if to hold back something he wanted to say. ‘Maybe I should take you home,’ he said eventually.
She nodded. Her body prickled as the adrenaline that had rushed through her only seconds earlier drained away. She shivered. Remembering she hadn’t driven over herself and that Liam would now have to take her home in the Land Rover filled her with dread. She didn’t know if she could deal with the awkwardness.
She let Liam guide her out of the house in a daze, handing her coat to her as he ushered her out the door. He gave her a hand up into the Land Rover and the same heat passed between them. But instead of reacting to it, Liam looked down at his feet and walked around to the driver’s side. Sophie fought to hold back tears. What had she done? She attempted and failed to stop the catastrophising part of her brain from working overtime.
Sitting close to the car door, Sophie pressed her hands together on her lap. She forced herself to keep her eyes on the barren landscape out the window. She knew that if she turned even a little, she would see Liam glancing her way as he drove. Twice he cleared his throat as if about to speak, but twice he seemed to change his mind. She swallowed painfully, the lump in her throat and the tears in her eyes threatening to betray her.
Sophie opened the passenger door as soon as Liam pulled up outside her flat. He hopped out of the driver’s side to help her, but Sophie had jumped out herself before he could make it round to the passenger door. She twisted her ankle as she landed.
‘I’m fine, thank you,’ she said, righting herself quickly and walking past Liam, purposely avoiding eye contact. He stood and watched her unlock the front door, not leaving until she was safely inside the building, she noticed.
Once she was inside, hot tears rolled down Sophie’s face. She made her way painfully up the stairs and along the corridor to her flat. Her ankle smarted with each step she took. When she got in, she double-locked the door and added the chain. She didn’t bother with the Christmas lights, turning her phone off and heading straight for bed.
Throwing the clothes she had left all over her bed earlier that day onto the floor, Sophie crawled under the covers and let herself sob. She felt damaged and foolish. She cursed the impact that Jordan had had on her and how she was letting it interfere with what could have been something special. Not any more. She’d well and truly blown it. Liam probably wouldn’t come anywhere near her now. Except, of course, she would have to see him at the school gates every day. And at rehearsal. She groaned and pulled the duvet up over her head. She was alone again, and it was just over two weeks until Christmas.
Liam’s language was pretty colourful on the drive home. He’d messed that up horrifically. Sophie was the best thing that had happened to him in such a long time and now she was sitting upstairs in her flat, alone and upset. She should have been sitting in Liam’s arms enjoying the Christmas tree that they’d just decorated or sharing a hot chocolate before he drove her back home or … Liam shook his head. This reality was so far removed from what he’d envisaged the evening becoming, and it was entirely his fault.
