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‘God, Mum. There’s only three of us.’
June placed the trifle down on the table triumphantly, and Sophie panicked for a moment that someone else might join them. Jordan? Surely her mother wouldn’t be that outrageously stupid?
‘Here you go.’ June dished out huge portions of fruit and jelly and cream.
The room filled with the sickly smell of sugar. Sophie was already full and gagged at the thought of eating anything else. But it was trifle. And she knew full well that June wouldn’t let her go anywhere until she’d eaten her bowlful.
‘This is great, Mum.’ And she meant it. It was all of her childhood birthdays and Christmases at once.
‘We were thinking of redecorating upstairs,’ June said after they’d eaten in silence for a minute or two, David making appreciative murmurs every time he put a spoonful of trifle in his mouth.
‘That sounds exciting.’
‘We thought we might turn your room into a gym.’
God, her mother was dropping bombshells all over the place tonight.
‘What?’
Sophie had moved out of the family home over a decade ago, but it didn’t stop her from feeling it in the pit of her stomach. Upstairs, her childhood bedroom was still exactly as it had been all those years ago. The wallpaper was covered in tiny pink flowers that matched the duvet set, which always graced her bed when she visited. The cupboard was plastered in every sticker she’d ever received from a successful visit to the dentist or doctor, and underneath the bed was a box of tickets and programmes and frayed friendship bracelets that took her back to that time. Even the smell of the trinkets when Sophie opened that box made her feel at home.
‘Well, you know, love,’ David said, ‘you’ve been gone such a long time, and now that you’ve moved away from London too … we just felt it was time to spruce the place up a bit.’
The feeling in the pit of her stomach strengthened as she realised her father wanted to change it all too. It felt like she was being punished for something.
‘We’re going to put in a gym. Keep me and your father nice and trim in our old age.’
An image flashed into Sophie’s mind of the pair of them in sweatbands, huffing and puffing their way through a weights session, and she felt an inexplicable urge to cry.
‘Excuse me.’ She pushed back her chair and left the room, June and David continuing to eat their ridiculous portions of trifle.
As was habit, she ran her fingers over the embossed wallpaper in the hallway as she climbed the stairs. In the bathroom, still a retro shade of avocado, she sat on the edge of the bath. It felt damp in there and Sophie realised that the old place probably could do with a renovation. But her room? It felt like such an invasion.
She went into her bedroom. The carpet was a deep purple, worn bare in places where she’d sat and played as a child. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she reached one arm underneath and felt around for the shoe box. It was a little dusty on top, so she ran a thumb over it.
It read, Sophie’s Stuff. Keep Out.
All over the outside of the box was a combination of I heart Jordan and scribbles of Mrs J Hummel, where she’d been practising her signature should she and Jordan have ever married. It made her sick now to think of it. She didn’t know whether the churning in her stomach was relief to have escaped such a heartless man, sadness at his having left her, or the aftereffects of June’s trifle.
She lifted the lid and laid it gently on the flowery bedspread. Inside the box were torn cinema tickets, a couple of badges, notes she’d been passed at school. And the one thing she’d been avoiding for over a year.
Sophie picked up the grainy black-and-white scan photo and ran a thumb over the white shadow in the middle.
‘Sophie, are you OK?’
She turned, surprised to hear her mother’s voice.
Sophie nodded. June came into the room and sat on the edge of the bed next to her daughter.
‘I just feel a bit sad that my old room won’t be here any more, that’s all.’
‘I’m sorry, sweetheart. We didn’t think it would bother you so much.’
‘Neither did I.’
‘It’s just been such a long time since you’ve been here and things are gathering dust. We just thought …’
Except it hadn’t been that long. She might not have lived here properly for over a decade, but she’d been to stay often and even moved in once or twice for short bursts. And the memories of the last time she stayed were still so vivid.
