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‘It’s my job to worry about the children.’ She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry.
‘Are you trying to say there’s something you think you should be worrying about? That I’m not a good enough father?’
Sophie looked away. She wanted there to be another member of staff listening in that she could use for support, but all the other teachers were engaged in their own, much more pleasant meetings. She looked back at Liam, his eyes brooding.
‘That’s not what I said, nor what I meant, Mr Hawthorn. Cassie’s behaviour has changed recently. Children’s behaviour changes for lots of different reasons. I was just trying to understand why Cassie might feel sad at the moment and find out if we can help in any way.’ Foolishly, she pressed on. ‘Is everything OK at home with Cassie’s behaviour?’
As soon as she’d asked the question, she knew she’d made a mistake. Liam’s face grew redder as she finished her question. When he responded, his voice was terrifyingly low.
‘What do you mean by that?’
‘Nothing. I don’t mean anything by it.’ She regretted having said anything at all. ‘It’s just that I’ve noticed her being a little withdrawn recently and then there was the fight, which isn’t like her. I just thought there might be something going on,’ she ventured. ‘Something that maybe we could help with at school?’
Liam pushed his chair back and stood up. With Sophie sitting down, he towered above her. She noticed the muscles so clearly defined beneath his jumper and didn’t know whether she was scared of him or drawn to him.
‘There is nothing wrong with my daughter, Miss Lawson. She is fine. We are fine.’
‘I’m sorry.’ She spoke quietly and nodded piously. ‘I just thought …’
‘That’s not what you get paid for, Miss Lawson. You get paid to teach.’
His words were vicious but his eyes were shining with the beginnings of tears. Sophie swallowed painfully. Her arms were crossed now, and she was up on her tiptoes under the desk so that she was one step away from being in the foetal position.
‘Of course,’ Sophie said, her voice trembling a little. She knew from the sensation of heat that her face had gone red. She wanted to cry at the confrontation, but swallowed down her tears.
‘Good evening,’ Liam said. He turned and strode across the hall, collecting Cassie from where she was sitting as he went.
It didn’t matter how awful one of their meetings went, Liam Hawthorn had a way of ending it like a gentleman. That was what irritated Sophie the most. It made her feel like she’d been in the wrong somehow. All she’d wanted to do was support Cassie, and he’d shouted at her, belittled her again.
The grimace on Kate’s face when she turned to talk to her only confirmed her suspicions.
‘What did I do wrong?’
‘That was brutal,’ Kate said, rather unhelpfully.
Sophie groaned and plonked her head back down on the desk again.
But they didn’t have a chance to discuss it any further because the conveyor belt of parents rolled around and the next lot were making their way over to their two desks, ready for their meetings.
‘Night, love.’ Liam put their copy of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone back onto the bookshelf. It was his favourite time of the day. They had always read, the three of them together, and it was one aspect of parenting that he felt he was getting right. Perhaps it was even the only aspect he was nailing at the moment. Cassie transformed at this time of night, perhaps softened by the calm glow of the fairy lights that framed her bed – she was his little girl again. He stood and made to leave.
‘Dad,’ Cassie said, wriggling down under the covers. Liam turned back. ‘Will you tuck me in tonight?’
His heart lifted. She hadn’t asked him to tuck her in for a long time. He sat on the edge of the bed and tucked the cover around her, pausing to brush the hair back from her face and kiss her on the forehead. ‘There you go.’
‘Dad?’ She wriggled around and rolled over, undoing his work.
‘Yes, sweetheart.’
‘I’m sorry about earlier.’ She lifted her head and rested it in her hand. ‘And I’m sorry about the fight.’
‘That’s all right, love.’ Liam was acutely aware that a definitive parenting moment might just be about to present itself. He panicked and felt like he should say something more. ‘I understand what happened the other day, and it sounds like it wasn’t your fault.’ He stroked her hair, wondering how much longer he’d be able to do it before his little girl was all grown up and she’d bat his hand away. ‘I was sad to hear what Lily said to you, though – about Mum.’
He thought back to what Sophie had said earlier. If he was really honest with himself, he knew she was right. Something wasn’t right with Cassie at the moment. He just hadn’t quite got to the bottom of it yet, and it frustrated him that she’d called him out on it. He cringed to think of how he’d behaved at the parents’ evening, his emotions once again getting the better of him.
‘Lily is mean, that’s all. She’s always getting into arguments,’ Cassie said, snuggling tighter and cuddling Baa Baa, who, at ten years old, looked a little worse for wear and was far more the grey sheep of the family after years of being loved. It amazed Liam how one minute she could go from the precipice of adolescence to his baby and back again so easily.
‘Are you OK, though? I mean about Mum?’ Liam asked. This. This was the important parenting moment he’d been anticipating. But even as he spoke, Liam knew he was blustering through it. It had been five long years since Emily had died. Cassie was so young when it happened. Perhaps now she was finally having to come to terms with it, especially since they’d moved back. His heart broke for her, and he swallowed down the lump in his throat.
