Page 53 of Rafael Pagani


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I swallowed at the memory, realizing how seriously he’d taken his words. But maybe I hadn’t taken them seriously enough? Had I taken it too far? Maybe I’d gone overboard.

I blinked, turning to face him where we were sitting on the sofa. I had no idea what the movie was called that he’d put on, especially as I hadn’t paid much attention, not when my mind was filled with a million thoughts.

Starting to second-guess myself wasn’t a nice feeling, not when I wondered if they were right when they’d said I needed help. Maybe therewassomething wrong with me. Maybe the boysdidneed to be away from me. My heart raced in my chest, the idea that all of this was caused by me not sitting well.

I held my breath, berating myself for thinking about the boys and knowing the pain it caused my heart. I hated being away from them. Despised the thought that someone else was comforting them when they cried. It should have been me.Ishould have been holding them.Me.But I wasn’t. I was stuck here, with no end in sight.

Maybe I just needed to play the game too? Maybe I needed to put on a front. It was the only option I had left, especially if I wanted to see the boys anytime soon. If I was going to do this though, I needed to do it properly. I couldn’t keep doing the silent game, not if I wanted the boys back in the safety of my arms.

Were they safe in your arms though?I swallowed at my thought, bashing it away as soon as it appeared. I couldn’t think like that, not right now.

“Do you want a drink?” I asked, the first words I’d spoken in days.

Travis’s brow rose, his head not turning from focusing on the TV. I stood, waiting for his answer, but when it didn’t come after thirty seconds, I headed into the kitchen, poured myself a glass of water, then went back into the living room, only this time sitting a little closer to Travis.

My hands started to shake, my gut swirling at being that close to him, but I’d do anything to see my kids—anything.

Travis stretched his arm out, picking up the clicker and muting the movie. Each of his movements was slow and purposeful as he turned on the sofa, lifting his leg up so now we were only inches away from each other. This was it. This was the moment he’d tell me how much he’d changed, how he wanted us to be a proper family, how he wanted me back. Then I could tell him whatever I needed to, to sate him, and we’d get the boys back. That was my entire plan right now. I hadn’t thought past it, not yet. The first port of call was getting my boys in my arms.

“Where’s my drink?” His voice was soft—deceiving.

“I…I asked if you wanted one.” My words came out harsher than they’d meant to, and it probably didn’t help that I shrugged my shoulders too. But I was so frustrated. That wasn’t what I’d expected him to say, and I’d been locked in this prison with him as my guard, not able to go anywhere or do anything without him beingright there. It had crossed the line when I needed the bathroom for the first time, and since then, the anger had been building up to impossible heights.

But I had to tamp it down. I couldn’t let it bubble up, not like I’d been used to doing while I was on my own. I was back under the control and rules of this house now. I had to remember that.

“Are you giving me attitude, Peyton?” His tone changed in an instant, his eyes darkening, warning me of what was to come.

I backed away a little as I shook my head. “No, sorry.” I started to stand, my fight-or-flight kicking in. “Let me—”

His hand shot out, his fingers gripping my wrist so tight that I could feel my pulse thrumming through my hand. “Did I say you could leave?”

“I wasn’t leaving,” I murmured, berating myself for continuing to talk. “I was just going to get you a drink.”

He stared at me, his eyes narrowing as he looked me up and down, a grin appearing on his face. “I don’t want a drink.”

Frowning, I tried to readjust myself, his grip getting harder. “But you said…”

“I said what?” he asked tilting his head to the side. He was taunting me. I hated when he did that because he made me second-guess myself. Just like I’d been doing not ten minutes ago about our entire history. Mind games. He was a master at them.

I should have known the calm Travis wouldn’t last long. How fuckin’ stupid was I to think that he would have changed? Every time…every single time I thought things would be different, and they never were. Well, actually, that was a lie. They were different—they were worse.

“You asked where your drink was.” I yanked on my arm once, twice, three times, then he let go, causing me to fall back into the cushions. The back of my head smacked against the hard edge of the stupidly huge sofa that Travis had wanted. “Fuck.” I rubbed at the spot, the thumping taking my breath away for a second.

“What did you just say?” he growled, leaning over me and boxing me in.

Dammit. I closed my eyes, realizing my mistake way too late, but the impact had knocked the sense out of me, or maybe it had knocked some senseintome, because as his hand grasped around my throat, squeezing, I moved as fast as I could.

Jerking my knee up, I kicked him in the nuts, knowing it was the only thing that would have stopped him at that point. And I was right, he fell to the left, just long enough for me to scramble up off the sofa and make a run for it. I had no idea where I was going, but I had to get as far away from him as I could. The problem was, it didn’t leave many options considering I couldn’t get out of this stupid house.

“You should know by now,” he taunted, his voice getting closer. “No matter where you run to, I will always fuckin’ find you.” He laughed, the sound manic, causing goose bumps to spring up all over my skin.

My breaths were gasps as I took the stairs two at a time, trying to make it to one of the bathrooms upstairs so I could lock myself in, but as soon as I got to the top of the stairs, his palm landed on my back, knocking me forward. My knees slammed against the floor, pain shooting through them at the impact.

I wanted to curl up in a ball. I wanted to protect myself against him. But all of those instincts I’d learned over the years had faded while I’d been away. My reactions weren’t as fast, and before I knew it, he’d spun me onto my back and was on top of me, his face inches away from mine.

“Please, Travis,” I begged, already knowing that it wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference. “Please don’t.” Everything was happening too fast, just like it always did. Travis had always had a way with keeping me on edge, then pouncing when I least expected it. It was one of his talents, if you could call it that.

His nostrils flared, the anger presenting so clearly.Thiswas the Travis I knew, and it had taken such a little thing to bring him out.

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