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Her tears fuckin’ gutted me.
I knew this was a bad idea. Letting her go down on me when she’d looked terrified of going near the bedrooms just minutes before. I shouldn’t have let her. I should have stopped her before she slid her fuckin’ perfect mouth over my cock and started to suck. I shouldn’t have gotten lost in her the way I wouldn’t allow myself last year.
But I did.
And now she was fuckin’ crying against my chest.
Each tear was a knife, flaying me wide open as I tried to put aside my self-flagellation in lieu of making sure she was okay. It wasn’t possible. Not with me naked but for the socks on my feet and her still wearing everything she’d left the strip club in aside from her shoes and winter coat.
When Kelly fell silent, I continued to hold her. A year ago, I would have tucked her into bed and quietly pressed a kiss to her head before forcing myself to leave. I wasn’t leaving her anymore. I wasn’t letting go of her, not now that I had her. I’d give her whatever she needed—time, space, comfort—and be there for her every step of the way.
I awoke to darkness on the other side of the curtains and a set of gorgeous blue-green eyes staring up at me.
“Kelly.” I went to move, to cup her cheek and pull her close, but she beat me to it. Her palm curled around my cheek and the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen graced her perfect lips.
“You stayed.”
Fuck if I could stop myself. I tightened my grip on her, tugging her closer until her body was touching mine. “Always.”
“I thought…” Her eyes dipped until her gaze was locked somewhere on my chest. “I thought you’d leave me, like you used to.”
“Never.” I shifted, curling the arm she was laying on around her back before moving my other, tugging her chin up with my fingers. “Not ever leaving you.”
She surprised me then, shifting forward and pressing a sweet kiss to my lips. “I’m sorry about earlier.”
Edging back enough to see her, I shook my head. “Don’t need to be sorry.”
“But I am.” She smoothed her palm over my shoulder, sending a shiver down my spine. “I wanted—” She swallowed hard, then met my gaze. “I wanted to make you happy, but all I could think of was…”
When she didn’t continue, I tugged her closer, until her head was on my chest and her short, curvy body was nearly wrapped around me. She curled one leg over my hip, and I had to stifle the groan that wanted to rip through me when she pressed against my growing cock.
“Not gonna force you to do anything you don’t want, Kell. I mean it. I’m here for you. Gonna love you whether you’re ready for physical contact or you need more time.”
“I want to, though.” She stretched her fingers across my chest and I swore my heart missed a beat. “I want to be normal. I don’t want to be afraid anymore. Especially of you.”
“Don’t want you to be afraid of me, either, baby.” I swept my fingers through her wild curls. “I’m here for you. Whatever you want. Whatever you need.”
“I want you.” She tilted her head back and the look in her eye knocked me off-center. There was no stopping the hardening of my dick where it was pressed between the two of us. Could tell she felt it. The way she shifted against me. I froze, readying myself for her tears, for those fears that’d shook her every night I’d known her to come racing back between us to try to keep us apart.
But Kelly was stronger than that. Wanted normal more than she wanted to stay locked in the past. She slid her hand between us, wrapping her smooth fingers around my length.
My eyes rolled back in my head and my girl shifted again, pressing her perfect fucking lips to the base of my throat.
“You’re sexy like this.” It came out a whisper against my flesh, and with her hand sliding up and down my shaft, I couldn’t force myself to fix whatever she saw and go back into protector mode. “When you let go,” she continued. “When you look like this. It makes me feel strong.”
“You are, baby.”
“Look what I can do to you.” She climbed on top of me, straddling my hips while her hand worked my dick and her lips and tongue left a trail of sweet fuckin’ kisses across my chest. It took everything in me not to grab hold of her thighs and yank her up, so it was her pussy, not her hand, caressing my aching dick.
I clenched my fists to stop myself just as Kelly let go, leaning forward and smoothing both hands over my pecs. She had her chin tucked, her eyes averted, and a furrow in her brow. Before I could ask her what was wrong, her lips parted on a quiet breath.
“I want to make love to you, Lee. I want to feel you inside of me again. I don’t want to be afraid of your touch.”
“Tell me what you need.”
“Will you…” She licked her lips, then locked her eyes with mine. “Will you undress me?”
Each movement I made was slow, from the nod of my head to my hand grasping the hem of her shirt. I lifted it over her head, careful not to catch it under her chin. Her hair fell free from the fabric, cascading like fire against her pale, freckled skin, and the sight of her had my mouth watering and my blood pulsing through my cock.
