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Then Ava had stepped away and, clearly, the event had all been too much for her. Whether or not she was interested wasn’t exactly the question. The kiss had been brief, the touch of their lips so short that Hope almost couldn’t remember the sensation. But it had been long enough for Hope to feel Ava kiss her back.
The more important question was whether or not Ava could handle this. Hope knew a fragile soul when she saw one, and Ava was as fragile as fine china.
Not that Hope was as robust as all that. One wrong look and there was always the chance that she’d crumble into dust and live as a spinster the rest of her life. She wondered how Rosie would get along with more cats. Maybe once Alice left home she could fill the house with them.
She snapped back to attention. Ava was still standing on her doorstep.
“So, do you?” she asked. “Want to come in, that is.”
Ava took a breath, then nodded. “I do.”
Hope stood back and let Ava come in before she closed the door. “Coffee? Tea?”
“Um, I’d rather just… get on with things.”
Hope felt a giggle coming on and bit her tongue firmly to stop it. She was pretty sure that Ava wasn’t propositioning her for sex, but if she were, Hope wouldn’t put it past her to do so in exactly those terms. “The living room?”
Ava nodded and went into the living room, perching uneasily on the edge of the couch. Hope sighed. Clearly she was going to need to take things in hand here. At least a little.
“Alright, we’re both adults here,” she began.
To her surprise, Ava held up her hand to stop her speaking. “Actually, if you don’t mind, I’d rather…”
Hope nodded. “Go ahead.”
Ava sat up straighter. “I’m broken,” she said, and held up her hand again when Hope tried to interrupt. “No, let me, please. I’m broken. Losing my wife was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. It broke me in ways that will never be fixed. I understand that. I also understand that I came here to change, to try to move on, and, well, I’m trying to do that.”
She paused and took a breath. Hope wondered if she was supposed to say something yet. But Ava wasn’t finished.
“You kissed me.” Ava’s eyes flashed green. “And I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t enjoy it. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t find you attractive. I do.”
Hope bit her lip. So this was Ava opening her shell. It was… strangely disconcerting and confusing. Much as she wanted Ava to be honest with her, she really wasn’t entirely sure what was happening.
“I find you attractive but I’m broken.”
Hope could hold her tongue no longer. “So what?” she said. “You don’t want me to touch you again? I can understand that, though I think it’s a shame.”
Ava blinked, swallowed. “Not exactly,” she said slowly.
“So what exactly?” Hope asked, remembering now how irritating Ava could be.
Ava let out a breath. “A lot of people wouldn’t be interested in a broken woman.”
“I’m not a lot of people,” said Hope. “And you’re forgetting, I’m not exactly un-broken myself.”
“I’m not forgetting,” said Ava.
Hope sighed. “We’re adults, Ava. Adults come with baggage. But in the end, we have to take risks, it’s the only way we change. You took a risk coming here. I took a risk kissing you.”
“Why?”
Hope spluttered with surprise laughter. “Are you asking why I kissed you?”
“Yes,” Ava said earnestly.
“Because you’re attractive and infuriating. Because I wanted to. Because… hormones, I suppose.”
“Right. It was… it was a nice kiss.”
