Page 93 of Before I Tell You


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“Natalie won’t be out of my sight tomorrow night. I promise,” Nathan says, looking protectively at me. His hand grips mine tighter, and I’m hoping he doesn’t feel my fingers shaking wildly. But then his eyes lock with mine, and the longer I get lost in them, the more I see something in them I’ve never seen before.Fear.

I hear my dad clear his throat, oblivious to the tension felt between Nathan and me, and I instinctively look over at him. “Ah, I barely remember my twenty-first birthday. My buddies and I pretty much drank our body weight in every kind of alcohol you can imagine. In fact,” my dad says, but my mom turns to him, giving him a death stare, and he quickly decides not to finish his story. “Well, never mind that. Happy birthday, Nate.”

“Happy birthday!” Grace chimes in. I really need to set some time aside to get to know her better, especially seeing how much she means to my brother.

“Time to make a wish!” My mom announces, distracting Nathan from his thoughts.

“Wow, I don’t even know what to say.” His eyes hop from one person to the next before landing on me. I’m the only one close enough to see his eyes starting to mist over. It occurs to me, looking around, that this is undoubtedly all Nathan has wanted most of his life. A family. Or, more accurately, a happy family. And although he has his amazing mom and brother, I’m sure he always felt like a piece was missing: his dad. I hold back tears wanting to avoid making a scene.

Before blowing out the candles, Nathan clears his throat and says, “Thank you. This means so much.”

About an hour into the movie, everyone except for Nathan and me has fallen asleep. There’s a heaviness weighing down my eyelids, so I take Nathan’s hand in mine and lead him up the stairs to my bedroom. I sit on the edge of my bed, watching as he removes his clothes. He stands in front of me with just his boxer briefs on, making me flush, even though I’ve seen his god-like body many times before.

“Come here,” Nathan says and holds his arms out.

I stand up, but before walking over to him, I slip out of my jeans and throw my top on the floor beside me. Then, slowly, I move into his arms, pressing myself against his defined chest.

Nathan begins to hum a song, which sounds like one of the old jazz songs I’ve previously heard playing in his car. Our bodies sway in unison to the melody as I stay wrapped in his embrace. His chin rests on the top of my head. The only light in the room is from the full moon that illuminates through the bay window, providing a soft spotlight on us.

“It’s midnight,” Nathan whispers in my ear, still swaying our bodies back and forth.

“Mhm,” I reply, keeping my eyes closed, lost in the comfort of his arms.

“So far, this is turning out to be my best birthday ever.” He takes my hand and twirls me away from him before he spins me back into his embrace.

I stand on my tiptoes, bringing my lips to his but pause less than an inch away. “Happy birthday, Nathan,” I whisper before finally pressing my lips to his. He wraps his arms tightly around my waist before he picks me up and sets me down in my bed.

Twenty-Eight

NATHAN

I’M FINALLY TWENTY-ONE.Twenty-fucking-one. The legal drinking age in the good ol’ United States. And to say I am ready to start acting my age tonight is an understatement.

After waking up next to Natalie and celebrating my birthday — twice — enjoying a stack of fluffy birthday pancakes with Natalie’s family, and beating Jason in some one-on-one at the basketball courts in town, I pull up in front of the local gym to pick up Nick. The two of us will head to our aunt and uncle’s house for my birthday dinner before I take off for the final event of the evening, the big Halloween birthday bash.

Nick throws his sports duffel bag in the back seat before hopping in on the passenger’s side. “Happy birthday, big bro.”

“Thanks. Can’t wait to see what you got me this year. There’s no way it can beat last year’s bottle of floral-scented ladies perfume.” I shake my head, remembering the ornate glass perfume bottle shaped like a heart.

“Hey, I’ll have you know the hot saleswoman told me it was a bestseller. How was I to know there’s a difference between perfume and cologne?”

“Sometimes you scare me.” I laugh at the idiot next to me, my brother.

“Sometimes I scare myself,” he chuckles. “So, you sure I can’t come tonight? I could be the designated driver?” he pleads. I feel for him. I do. But after what happened last year in New Hampshire, there’s not a goddamn chance in hell I’m bringing him along. Lord knows I don’t need a repeat of that awful night.

“Sorry, Nick. Not happening. Besides, you know mom would kill me if I brought you.” Looking over at him, it’s not hard to miss the disappointment spreading across his face.

“Fine,” he sighs, but he knows my hands are tied, so he doesn’t push the issue. “Did you still want to play one-on-one tomorrow?”

“Yeah, of course.” I lightly punch him in the shoulder. “I would love nothing more than to whoop your ass in a round of hoops on my birthday weekend.”

“Very funny,” Nick says, rolling his eyes. “Just because it’s your birthday doesn’t mean I’ll take it easy on you. I’ve improved a lot since we last played against each other. You’ll see.”

“I’ll be the judge of that, little man,” I say with a smug look.

“Little? I’m only an inch shorter than you. Besides, it’s not about the size of the player. It’s about drive. It’s about power … or at least that’s what The Rock claims,” he admits with a shrug, making us both laugh.

We pull into the driveway of my aunt and uncle’s house and get out of the car.

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