Page 117 of Before I Tell You


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She slowly nods her head.

“Besides, I think the panic attack in the middle of the corn maze kind of gave it away.” I try to make light of it, but Natalie doesn’t look up at me.

“I thought that would have scared you away,” she says softly.

“Baby?”

“Yeah?”

I pull my phone out of my pocket and hold it out for her to take. “Look in the notes section of my phone.”

Her brows furrow, but she takes my phone and taps on the screen, which brings her to my notes. I watch her eyes widen when she realizes what she’s reading.

“How to help someone you love with anxiety. The ten best things to say when talking someone down from an anxiety attack. Tips to manage anxiety. Foods to help decrease stress. The top therapists in Boston who specialize in anxiety. The best anti-anxiety notebooks.” She keeps scrolling, reading close to a hundred different titled notes of research I’ve found in my spare time, before looking up at me in awe. “You really do love me, don’t you?”

“More than you will ever understand.” My thumb rubs along her jawline as my hand rests on her neck, feeling her pulse increase. “I know you are strong and capable of saving yourself, but even the strongest people need help. And on the days you feel like you’re drowning, I want to be the one that saves you. Mentally or physically, I will always save you.”

Her hands clasp around the back of my neck as she pulls herself to me, pressing her lips firmly into mine. My hand grips her thigh, pulling her body against me until I suddenly remember her brother is just on the other side of the fire, hopefully not witnessing any of this.

Pulling away before we take it too far, I say, “Come on. Let’s go get you that surprise.”

Her eyes light up with an immense amount of excitement. “I almost forgot!”

We both say goodnight to Grace and Jason, then walk hand in hand into the house and up the stairs to Natalie’s bedroom.

When we reach her room, I put one hand on the doorknob and then turn around, watching her excitement bubbling over. “Close your eyes.”

“What? Why?” She tries to look around me to see what is hiding behind the door, but I haven’t opened it more than an inch.

“Please?”

“Fine,” she says. Natalie closes her eyes and stands there impatiently waiting for me. It’s a sight that makes me want to laugh, but I refrain from doing so.

Taking her hand, I push the door open and lead her forward until we’re standing directly in the center of the room. I drop her hand and walk behind her so she can view everything.

“Ok, open your eyes,” I whisper in her ear.

Natalie’s eyes bolt open then her mouth drops to the floor. “Nathan, what is this?” she asks in disbelief.

Pink rose petals are all over her white comforter. In the center of the bed, I shaped the petals into a giant heart, and in the center of the heart, I placed a small white envelope with Natalie’s name on the outside.

“You should open it,” I suggest.

She turns to me, still in shock, and then cautiously picks up the envelope but makes no move to open it.

“Go on,” I say softly.

Ever so slowly, she rips open the envelope, and that’s when I hear her breath draw back.

“Happy early birthday, baby.”

“Nathan, are these what I think they are?” Her eyes begin to water, but unlike the tears I witnessed falling from her eyes last night, I know these are happy ones. Because in her hands, she’s holding two plane tickets to Paris.

“Do you like it?” I ask, hearing how nervous I sound.

After waking up this morning, I called my mom to let her know the trip to Australia had been canceled due to schedule conflicts, not wanting to tell her what was really going on. I was hoping she could get her money back, but unfortunately, I found out the ticket was nonrefundable. That’s when an idea came to me. Take Natalie to Paris. I knew two tickets to Paris would be a lot more than my one ticket, plus the hotel that would need to be top of the line, but I also knew this was what I wanted to do.

Because making this girl happy has become my mission in life.

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