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* * *
Jason remains eerily quiet as he processes everything I just told him. And I meaneverything. His eyes stare straight ahead, lost in the fire roaring in the fireplace in front of us, unblinking for a humanly impossible amount of time. Neither of us says anything for what feels like an eternity, and just as the silence begins to overwhelm me, he finally speaks.
“Natalie, I don’t even know what to say.” His eyes drift over to me, looking conflicted with so many emotions. Sadness. Confusion. Anger. Yes, definitely anger.
“I know.” I look down at my hands on my lap, worry eating away at me.
“For starters, I want to kill Brian.” His eyes wander back to the fire as his fists clench the arms of his chair. “Secondly,” he pauses, taking a deep breath before saying, “I wish you had told me when this happened.”
“I’m sorry,” I say in a whisper. “I don’t know. I was just so ashamed. I blamed myself for a while and worried that this would affect others if they ever found out, like Vanessa, Nathan, and mom and dad. I didn’t want that.” Tears fall from my eyes.
“Nat,” he sits up in his chair, “I’m your brother. I love you and would do anything for you. And I would never tell your secret, but the guy is a real asshole. Someone needs to put him in his place. I know you’re worried about what this will do to everyone else because that’s the kind of person you are, but you shouldn’t be. I can’t tell you how glad I am that Nate recorded what happened last night. And I’m not telling you what to do, but just know I support you either way.” He takes a deep breath, and I look up to see him holding his head in his hands.
“I’ve been so worried about you this past year. With the nightmares you were having and the days you would just walk around like a zombie, I knew something had happened. I just never assumed …” He looks back at the fire, and I see his eyes watering. “I know you’re older, not by much, but I’ve always felt like I was your big brother. I don’t know, maybe it’s because of my size, but I’m supposed to be the one to protect you, and I can’t tell you how much it’s bothered me not knowing what was wrong with you and that there was nothing I could do to help.” He covers his face, trying to hide the tears.
“Oh, Jason.” I stand up and gently place a hand on his shoulder. “You, sitting here and listening to me is all I need. It’s my fault that I didn’t come to you sooner. I’m so sorry. You’ve always been there for me, and I don’t know why I thought this would have been any different.”
“Don’t apologize.”
I nod because he’s right.
Jason stretches his neck from side to side, frustrated, and I can feel his shoulders tense under my touch. “If I find out he comes anywhere near you again, I will kill him, Natalie. I’ll have to.”
“Well, you’ll have to beat Nathan to it because he promised the same thing.”
“I knew I liked Nate.” Jason smiles slightly.
“Yeah, I kind of like him too.” No, Ilovehim.
“But how are you feeling, Nat? Honestly.” His eyes search over me with concern.
“Honestly, it’s a lot. But just being able to tell you and Nathan has helped. It feels almost freeing. I don’t know how to explain it.” I look into the fire that has my brother so mesmerized. “But what I do know is I love you, and I’m so lucky to have you as my brother.”
Jason stands up and embraces me. I use his T-shirt to wipe away some of my tears, which makes him smile.
He places his hands on my shoulders comfortingly as we separate and says, “Just know I always have your back, no matter what. Ok?”
“How did I get so lucky to have a brother like you?” I ask.
“One of life’s many mysteries.” He smiles. “Now, what did you say earlier about pizza?”
* * *
I’m curled up on the couch in the living room, a throw blanket over my legs, with the latest romance novel in one hand and a glass of wine in the other as I kill time waiting for everyone.
Nathan and Jason left about an hour ago to play Nathan’s brother and friends in a game of basketball, and on their way home, they’re going to pick up some pizzas for dinner.
Just thinking about pizza makes my mouth salivate, since my biggest weakness in life has always been bread and cheese.
Damn carbs. I love them.Almost as much as I love Nathan. The thought makes me smile like a schoolgirl.
Just as I get to the juicy part in my book, or the “smutty” part as Nathan would say, the doorbell rings, causing my heart to stammer.
Who could that be?
Throwing my blanket off, I creep on my tippy toes and look through the peephole on the door, but all I see is the top of someone’s head full of dark brown hair, which lets me know the person is around my height — no immediate threat.
As I open the door, I see a face that I haven’t seen in a very long time.
