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Darci rocked and let out a little scream of delight. Mickey put his sandwich down on his paper plate, rolled on his back and held her up in the air. Darci squealed with delight, as he made her feel as though she was flying. Her laughter filled my heart, and watching the two of them felt so right, I couldn’t help but lean over and give Mickey a gentle kiss on his cheek. Then I stayed on my back and watched Darci giggle as she flew around in his big strong hands.
“You’re a natural, Mickey,” I told him. “I didn’t know what to expect, but I can tell she’s really smitten by her daddy.”
“The feeling is mutual, that’s for sure.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” I told him and snuggled in closer.
We finished our sandwiches after that, while Darci dined on smashed zucchini and carrots, a concoction I’d made before we’d left home. She was a good eater, and her little round body reflected her appetite.
Afterwards, she drank her milk from a sippy cup that she was still getting used to.
When we finally left the park, he carried her to my car, and fastened her into her seat.
“A baby is a lot of work,” he finally said, once we were driving back home, and Darci had fallen fast asleep in the back.
“This is nothing. It’s the fun part. There’s so much more to it.”
“I can’t even imagine.” He turned to me while I drove. “You’re a good mom, CindyLou. I just wish I hadn’t deserted you like I did.”
“That’s in our past, Mickey. You’re here now,” I told him.
“Yeah. I’m here now.” He said the words, but I had a feeling he was still trying his best to wrap his head around this new chapter in his life.
We didn’t talk for the rest of the drive home, and as the evening wore on, he became more and more quiet. Not so much around Darci, but around me. Like he was trying to figure out his role in all of this.
He never left her side. He even helped me get her ready for bed, then played Rascal Flatts’ I Won’t Let Go on his guitar and sang the words with his low raspy voice. As soon as he sang the first line my eyes welled up. The song was about thinking you’re on your own, and how you’re not alone. And how he won’t let go.
I couldn’t stay in the room. I started balling, and I knew that wasn’t his intention. My sweet baby girl’s little eyes started closing, and I left to compose myself. That song always had a special meaning for me. I’d always wanted someone to sing it to me, and really mean it, and there was non-committal Mickey, singing it to our daughter. How could I not cry? The man was coming through for her… for both of us.
After calming myself in the bathroom, and throwing some cold water on my face, I marched back to Darci’s bedroom ready to tell Mickey that I was so proud of him I could burst.
But when I opened the door, they were both asleep, Mickey on the cushy recliner, and Darci in her crib.
It had been one of the joys of my life to watch them bond all day long, and I could only imagine the tight relationship they would have as the years passed. I covered Mickey with a light blanket, turned on the baby monitor, took the screen with me, closed the door, and went downstairs.
“If he keeps this up, I’ll think he really does want to hang around and be her daddy,” I told Colt and Scotty as I walked into the kitchen. Something smelled so good, it caused my mouth to water. They were making dinner. I loved the fact that they could cook. Colt had told me that Aunt Donna taught him, but I had no idea where Scotty learned. My mom wasn’t a good cook, at least not like my aunt Donna. She could pour a mean Margarita, though and in the scheme of things, that had served me better than knowing how to bake a chicken.
After dinner, Scotty and I would be practicing our song. It had to be as close to perfect as we could make it. I’d changed my mind about being up on that stage with Tammy and the other women, whoever they were. I never asked. Either way, I wanted to be a part of it. Wanted it so bad, I could see and taste it. And if I was going to be there, I had to be as good as everyone else up on that stage. I refused to be seen as the rooky.
The round rustic table next to the large windows had been set for four, complete with lovely black dishes, large wine glasses and light blue linen napkins. It looked so cozy and inviting, I couldn’t wait to sit down and enjoy the meal they’d prepared. The whole scene was like a dream come true. All that was missing was Mickey pouring the wine.
“I think he’s smitten, and no way will he walk away this time,” Scotty said, as he ladled red sauce on the large bowl of pasta already sitting on the table. A plate of vegan meatballs, made with black beans, sat next to it, that I knew Scotty had made just for me. They both knew I was serious about a mostly vegan diet, with the exception of wild caught fish or organic eggs every now and then.
How these two rough and tumble cowboys accommodated my vegan bent, only made me love them more.
“That’s exactly the problem,” Colt cautioned, as he placed a lovely green salad on the table. “Mickey believes he doesn’t deserve to be happy, and whenever he gets close to it, he’s afraid it’s all going to get pulled away from him somehow. He usually backs away before that can happen. That way he’s in control of the situation… or so he thinks.”
“We already talked about it, and I know that’s been his M.O., but he’s assured me that he’s changed. He says he wants to be Darci’s daddy, and he’s all in with me… us.”
“So, then where is he now? Isn’t he going to join us for dinner?” Scotty took the seat across from me, pulling in his chair.
“He fell asleep in Darci’s room, on the recliner.”
Scotty pushed his chair back. “I’ll get him.” And he walked out of the room.
I took a seat, and Colt sat next to me, picked up the bottle of red wine and filled our glasses. Then he picked up his glass. “A toast. To Mickey, and to us… all four of us… all five of us… and to our future.”
And as soon as we clinked, Scotty walked back in the room. “He won’t be joining us.”
