Page 21 of Birthday Boy


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I shake my head, holding my hands up. “I only hoped we could talk.”

Jensen’s mouth opens in a snarl before he snaps it closed and glances around. He nods toward the door, and I follow him silently to the parking lot. He tosses his bag into the bed of his truck and turns to me with crossed arms.

I lick my drying lips and then let out a hollow laugh. “Look, I know how protective you are of your mom. That’s why I never mentioned how I feel about her.”

His neck strains, and his jaw clicks from how hard his teeth are grinding. His knuckles are white as his clenched fists rest inside his elbows. “How you feel about her?”

Scratching the back of my neck, I roll my shoulders and look away. “I never had a mom, Jensen. Not really, you know that. Your mom… is everything I wished mine was growing up. And then, one day, I stopped looking at her like a stand-in. She was… more than that.”

His exhale is loud, and he leans against his truck, shaking out his hands. “How long has this been going on?”

I cringe and give him a sheepish look. “Bro, I have no way around this, so I’m just going to say it. And if you punch me, you punch me. Nothing happened till my birthday when I skipped school and begged Olivia to take my virginity.”

Jensen’s face pales, and his head snaps back hard enough to hit his truck’s window. He lets out a hiss and rubs the back of his skull. I grimace as he stands there, blinking and his mouth gaping open like a fish.

I give him a few minutes before I clear my throat. “She’s all I ever wanted. I can’t explain it. I love you, and you’re my brother. But I couldn’t control how I needed her. And once she actually gave me a chance, nothing was going to stop me from taking it.”

His eyes harden. “Even at the risk of losing me as a friend?”

Staring at him, I don’t answer. I’m not going to confirm it out loud and become even more of a bad guy.

He nods, his throat bobbing as he swallows. “Yeah, that was a stupid question. Just like how stupid I was to ignore the lipstick that was smeared on your mouth that day in the restaurant.”

“I know you’ll probably never forgive me, but… don’t be hard on your mom. You’re all she has.” My heart aches knowing Olivia is probably spiraling with Jensen finding out about us. We both knew the risk of our relationship, but it was easy to pretend when we hadn’t faced the consequences yet.

Jensen stands taller. “Fuck you, Cole.”

“Sorry, I–” I try to explain again.

“No, you just need to shut the fuck up and leave me alone. Leave us both alone. Stay away from my mom.” he shouts, opening his truck and climbing in before peeling out of the parking lot.

Grief settles heavily in my stomach as I watch his tail lights disappear. Nothing came from our talk, but it felt like goodbye. A closure of sorts that I’m not ready for. I can only hope that his love for Olivia outweighs his hate for what we’ve done, considering I pursued her.

Olivia

It’sanoddfeelingknowing you’re in the wrong about a situation involving your child. You can only apologize so much before giving them space to approach you. There isn’t a lesson to be learned here. The two closest people in his life betrayed him, and I’m unsure how to help.

Jensen skids to a stop when he notices me in the kitchen. I glance at him and then back at the stove. I’ve barely seen him in the past two weeks. Cole has reached out a few times, but I haven't texted him back. I need to fix my relationship with my son before focusing any attention on him.

“I made dinner. I can leave a plate in the microwave if you want to wait till I go back to my room,” I say softly, unable to stomach the food myself. My emotions have made my stomach a jumbled mess of nerves, and I can’t hold anything down.

He sighs. “Mom. That’s the most depressing shit I’ve ever heard.”

I swallow to soothe my aching throat, forcing the nausea away. “I just want to give you the space you need. I don’t want to push you.”

The screech of the chair has me peeking over my shoulder as he slumps down at the table. He rubs a hand down his face. I make us both a plate of food and bring it over, seating myself across from him.

“Thanks,” he mutters, and we eat in silence for a few moments.

Jensen stands suddenly and walks to the fridge, and grabs a can of Coke. He pauses and holds it up. “Want one?”

“Sure,” I nod. I don’t actually want soda, my stomach is a bubbling mess of nerves. But I’m not going to do anything that could be viewed as a rejection of whatever olive branch is being offered.

He sets it down in front of me and takes a seat again. I push the food around on my plate before Jensen finally leans back.

“It was your laugh.”

“What?”

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