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“I think you missed part of the conversation. The part where my wife asked how it was going with your girlfriend,” Kyle said pointedly.
“I don’t have a girlfriend. We both knew it was impractical to keep seeing each other in that capacity.”
“Capacity?” Mindy said dubiously. “Since when do you say capacity? You’ve always been more of an ‘I’d tap that ass’ guy in my experience.”
Kyle snort-laughed and took a drink of his water.
“Fair enough,” I said. “I thought it would be crass to tap and tell. Anyway, we’re not seeing each other. When the semester is over, if there’s still a chance there, maybe we’ll meet for coffee or a drink,” I said.
Kyle grabbed the chicken and rice and served it onto our plates. The babies decorated their highchair trays with the mixture and ate fistfuls of it and wiped the rest in their hair. All the while, I chewed mindlessly, focused on the ‘after the semester we may meet for coffee’ idea. It was vague and rather hopeless sounding. Far off and miserable.
That entire plan made me stifle a sigh. It sounded so dismal. I didn’t even like thinking of the intervening weeks and what could happen—how she could meet someone else. I didn’t doubt her loyalty and interest, but when I’ve repeatedly lectured her on how we couldn’t be together, I couldn’t exactly complain if she moved on to a relationship that was less complicated. I nearly gagged on my chicken just thinking about that possibility. The chance of seeing Maria and Hailey at the bar when I was out with my friends, both of them with boyfriends, laughing, talking, kissing. Being young and carefree and happy while I begrudged her joy and sat resentfully swearing into my beer.
“Are you getting ready to shout, ‘bah humbug!’?” Kyle speculated. “Because you look like you’re giving your best impression of a grouchy old man.”
“Haven’t you heard that my age is a sore subject since Meredith who is about to turn fifty-three, by the way, thought I was too old and out of touch to spearhead the rebranding campaign,” I said sourly.
“That’s the Rick I know and good-naturedly avoid at times,” Mindy joked, wiping off the twins’ hands.
She took the twins out of their chairs, and they scampered toward their bedroom for pajamas and a story. Kyle and I cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher. Then we sat down in the living room, and I braced myself for the inquisition.
“So what’s the real story? Now that the delicate ears of my wife and babies are on the other side of the house,” he said suspiciously.
“We’ve had a hard time staying away from each other. She and I resolved to be practical and wait and see how things are after classes are over for the semester,” I said.
“That’s not new information,” he countered.
“Maria—you know her feelings were one of my concerns—she just up and told Hailey that she and I should date since we both seemed brokenhearted over some kind of complicated relationships. I was stunned that she wouldn’t be upset about the idea of us together, but the fact is, we have more serious problems,” I said.
“What about working with her? How’s that going?”
“She’s incredible, and she’s added a lot of value to the project. The fact is, I’d love to have her work for me full-time, but that could be problematic either way. If we decide we can be anything together once classes end, it would be unethical to have her working in my company. On the other hand, if we don’t see each other again for whatever reason, then it would be awkward as hell to have her in the office.”
“Because you’d stare at her and sing sad nineties pop songs to her from a distance?”
“Well, obviously,” I smirked, “and I wouldn’t want to disrupt team meetings by throwing rose petals through the conference room door and holding up posters begging her to go out with me. Professionalism would just go right out the window there.”
“Yeah, just a bit.”
“I’ll write her a glowing recommendation. Some other firm will be lucky to have her,” I said with a proud smile I couldn’t suppress.
“You’re willing to give up the innovations and potential profit she’d make for REM so you can be with her? This must be true love,” Kyle said. “In all seriousness, I’m glad you found someone who makes you that happy. I’ve never seen you like this, so wrapped up in someone, and willing to wait for her, willing to give up a business advantage…the Rick I’m used to is a ruthless workaholic with a good heart hidden beneath a jackass sense of humor.”
“Is there a point to this character assassination?” I joked.
“You deserve to be happy. I hope it all works out for you,” Kyle said.
I felt more optimistic then. I also had a feeling that I wouldn’t hate coming home to a woman I loved, cutting up tomatoes for our child or making horse sounds and galloping around to make him giggle. The idea of it made me feel light and…happy. As if I were excited for something other than work for the first time in a very long time.
CHAPTER29
HAILEY
Three long weeks had dragged by at last. Only a few more days of classes and the semester would be at an end. It had overstayed its welcome, as far as I was concerned, and I couldn’t wait to be done with it. As thrilled as I’d been to be in Professor Esperanza’s class—to learn from my TED talk idol in person—I’d be even more thrilled to walk out of his class for the last time and know I was a free woman, no longer his student, no longer sneaking around or missing him so much it made me ache.
The last few weeks hadn’t been easy to say the least. I’d kept busy with final essays and projects for my classes, and I hung out with Maria a couple of evenings, but for the most part, I sulked. I slogged through my tasks, thinking of how much I missed Rick, how I wanted to tell him about this or that thing that happened, or send him a meme that made me laugh, or just feel his mouth on mine again. The longing was intense, both physically and emotionally. Being almost there, almost to the point of being able to see him and spend time with him, I was eager to the point of practically pawing the ground like an impatient racehorse waiting for the starting signal.
Even sitting in Rick’s class and studiously taking notes was a challenge because I wouldn’t allow myself to look directly at him. If I met his eyes or answered a question or even let my gaze drift to his handsome face or the way his dark hair curled a bit at the back of his neck, then I’d be lost. There’d be no hope of acting normal at all. As the class was dismissed, we picked up our final project grades. Isabel and I high fived, both scoring an A. Even Christy had taken enough time away from texting her boyfriend to muster an A-. So when Josh saw his grade, he started cussing.
