Page 62 of Scorch
What was he doing here?I was torn between wanting to see him and hating that I had to see him.
Glancing back at Gypsi, I knew I didn’t want her to hear what he had to say.
I set the bat down and opened the door, then stepped out, closing it quickly behind me.
Garrett paused a few feet from the camper as I took the two steps until my bare feet hit the patch of damp grass.I’d not put on shoes.His showing up here had me rattled.
“What do you want?”I asked, glaring at him.
“You,” he replied.
A humorless, pained laugh erupted from me.How could he come here and say something like that?He’d had another woman all ready to take my place the moment I walked out.
“What?Don’t tell me that Loxley has dropped you before she got her trip to the derby?”The venom, jealousy, hurt were all there in my voice.I couldn’t mask them, and I didn’t care to.
The agonized shadow that fell over his gaze surprised me.
“Fawn—” he began, and I held up my hand to stop him.
“Garrett, listen, I can’t take this anymore.Whatever you came here to say, don’t.Please.If you ever felt even a tiny emotion toward me, then just turn and leave.I’ll be gone tomorrow, and you can go on with your life, pretending like I never existed.”Somehow, by the grace of God, I had said all that without cracking or bursting into tears.It was what he needed to hear.What I had to say for my own sanity.But it felt as if I were in that lounge again, listening to Justin go on about Loxley.
Garrett stalked toward me with a fierce expression.I stilled as he reached me.My pulse quickened as he stared down at me.
“You aren’t leaving.I’ll fucking follow you.I’ll chain you to my goddamn bed if I have to,” he hissed through his teeth and shook his head.“Dammit, Fawn, I came here to ask for forgiveness.Plead with you for it if I have to.I had it all planned out.I was going to be sweet and charming.Then, you tell me you’re leaving.I can’t—I can’t let you leave me.I need you.”
No, no, no.Shut up, Garrett Hughes.
I fought back tears.He was going to make me break.Forget how much he’d hurt me.Forget why I’d walked away to begin with.
“You replaced me before the sun went down, it seems.I don’t think you need me.In fact, I don’t think you need anyone.”
The clear torment in his eyes caused me to pause.That didn’t fit with the man I knew.He looked almost as broken as I felt.
“The man I am, the man I was raised to be, doesn’t accept the wordno.He doesn’t accept rebellion or disobedience.I demand respect, complete compliance, and even fear.It’s who I am.Who I was born to be.But in the four days since you left me, I’ve realized that I have an exception.You.You make me better, Fawn.You make me happy.I’ve never fucking known happiness until you.I can’t just forget about you.Us.I thought moving on immediately would work, but I’m not even able to be in the same room as the woman I’m supposedly taking to the derby as my date.She’s not you.No one will ever beyou.And all I want in this goddamn world is you.”He let out a long, heavy sigh.His eyes never leaving mine.
I stood there, processing his words, letting them sink in.Make sense.I wasn’t sure if I could trust them.But I wanted to.I wanted it all to be real.
“Fawn,” he said in a husky whisper, gently taking my chin in his fingers, “if you’ll forgive me, come back to me, you will call the shots.I’ll cater to your every whim.You will tell me what to do.Not the other way around.You’re right; Gypsi is your daughter.I had no right to make any decisions about her without discussing it with you and getting your approval.The only excuse I have is that I’ve always been wired that way.I will need work to fix myself, but I am begging you, please, fix me.Just for you.”
I felt a tear roll down my cheek.This wasn’t what I’d expected from him.I’d thought he would use my weakness for him against me.I had never imagined that he’d come to me like this.Humble, willing to hand over his ironclad control to me.Not once had I thought Garrett Hughes would beg me for anything.Much less me.
“Please, don’t cry.I can’t take that.I’m so fucking messed up in the head right now over hurting you,” he admitted.
I sniffled and wiped the tear from my cheek.“I’m sorry.I’ll try, but you can’t unleash all that on a woman and not expect her to be overwhelmed.”
He studied me so closely that it was as if he was desperate to read my thoughts.“What do you need me to do?Tell me.I’ll do it.Right now.”
“What are you asking for exactly?”
He brushed my hair back from my face.“You.I am asking for you.”
I wanted to throw myself into his arms and say yes, a thousand times yes.But I couldn’t do that.I had learned my lesson with this man.A painful lesson.
“What does that mean?We go back to dating?But this time, you won’t have men stalking my daughter, and you won’t control my job or any part of my life?”
He nodded, looking down at me, the pleading still there in his dark gray depths.“Whatever you want.However you want it.”
I frowned.“Garrett, I don’t think you can do that.”It was hard to say, but he needed to face the truth.
