CHAPTER 1
“There’s a dragon in the sea. Can’t you see him?”
The waves brush against the stone steps, smothering the bottom two until they can’t be seen anymore as the local crazy man walks past, muttering to himself about sea dragons and magic. The cold, beautiful coastline of Silloth stretches out for miles, wrapping around a small corner of England, but it feels like it’s a million worlds apart from the rest of the busy world. It certainly is in the middle of nowhere, for me at least. The sky fills with bright, vibrant oranges and yellows that reflect across the calm blue sea as the sun sets. This is my favourite part of the day, but it fails to make me smile, to make me feel less lost and alone today. I wrap my tanned arms around my short legs, breathing in the familiar sea air, and try to forget today. It doesn’t work.
“Ellelin!”
Fuck. I knew hiding here wasn’t a good idea, as he knows it’s my secret spot, away from the visiting tourists. This is the end of the promenade, where it meets the old lighthouse. I climb to my feet, just as my boyfriend—no, ex-boyfriend as of half an hour ago—stumbles to a stop in front of me, sand spraying onto my worn boots. He’s handsome, so my grandmother says, six foot tall with blond hair and honey brown eyes. She also told me the pretty ones always, always fuck up in the end.
She was right.
“I can explain. If you’ll just listen—”
I chuckle, wiping a stray violet lock of my hair out of my eyes. Dying my black hair violet was one of the only things I’ve done for myself in a long time, and I love the colour. Finley said he preferred it black. “Explain what, exactly, Finley? You want to explain how you slept with a friend of mine? I don’t think that needs to be explained. We’re over.”
I turn around and leave. I’m done with him, and this damn town I’ve been trapped in since I was six and my grandmother took me in. The sad truth is this is the only place I have ever known, and I don’t have any friends except for my ex-boyfriend and my friend who he slept with. I don’t have anyone but my grandmother, and something about that fact makes me sad. I can’t remember my life before I was six, and my grandmother won’t tell me anything about where I lived before that. I only know that my parents died tragically after travelling for years but that my mum was born here, in Silloth. I’ve been stuck here with my grandmother, my only remaining family, and I’ve never left.
School finishes soon, only three days away from graduating, and then I can leave. I can get out of this small town, see what the world has to offer me. My grades are high, and I’ve been accepted to several universities from Edinburgh to London. I just need to make my choice exactly how far I want to go from my grandmother. She still needs my help, but I’m not sure I can be here to help her without giving up the chance of leaving this town. The stubborn old lady refuses to let us have any carers in.
Finley scrambles up to my side, grabbing hold of my arm to pull me to a stop. “Let me go,” I demand, loud enough to turn the heads of several people nearby. Finley looks around, noticing how many people are looking, and roughly lets me go. I shake my head and turn away, walking back to my house.
“Ellelin, please, just listen to me!”
I pause, turning back to look at him standing on the edge of the road. “Look, we were going to break up. I’m going off to university, and I’m sure not staying around here for you. Just go and live your life. We both know your life is here with your family. Just leave me the hell alone.”
“But I love you,” he weakly protests.
I chuckle as I walk away. I’ve always told him not to say that to me, because I don’t believe you can fall in love at eighteen, or at least, I never felt that way about him. Love is destruction, according to my grandmother and every romance book I’ve ever read. So no thank you. I want security, a decent apartment, and money to travel the world. Not a life trapped in a small town, popping out babies with a man I don’t really care that much for as he cheats on me. That would be my life here with Finley, and I’d rather have no life than that.
I look at Finley once last time, remembering that he was charming and made me laugh once, but every one of those good memories is now tainted. “You certainly didn’t love me when you were screwing my only friend. It’s over. Leave me alone.”
Finley looks like I’ve broken his heart as I tuck my hands into my pocket to warm them up and cross the road, hoping he doesn’t follow me this time. The bitterly cold sea breeze blows against my black hoodie and leggings, reminding me I shouldn’t have left without my thicker coat this morning.
I head down the streets until I come to our small, terraced home, the street quiet and empty. All the terraces around here are a multitude of colours like a rainbow, and ours is yellow. The yellow paint now is chipped, faded, and cracked in so many places, and the windows look close to falling off, but I love this house. It’s quirky, like my grandmother, and I’ve never not felt at home here. Our house stands out in the row as every other house is freshly painted, but we don’t have the money for that, and our neighbours make sure to mention the paint every time I bump into them. One day, I’m going to have a good job and be able to repaint the house for my grandmother. One day.
Unlocking the latch, I open the door and head inside, where the warmth of the lit fire makes me sigh. “Nan, it’s me.”
I take my coat off and rub my eyes. I’m exhausted after cleaning caravans for two hours after school to give us a bit of extra money for food, as my grandmother tries her best, but everything is expensive. Between work and school and caring for my grandmother, some days I feel like I never rest. No wonder my boyfriend cheated on me. Never have enough time to be with him—with anybody, in truth—which makes it sadder that I decided to surprise him by walking to his and sneaking in through his bedroom window today.
My grandmother doesn’t reply to me, and I frown as our cat, Jinks, jumps up onto the back of the sofa. Jinks is pure white with strange red glowing eyes, but the vet swears it’s normal. I swear he looks like the devil, especially in the middle of the night. I stroke the back of his head as he purrs at me for food. “Alright, Jinks.”
I feed him in the small kitchen at the back of our house before going to search for my grandmother in the garden, where she usually is. The thick grey clouds above suggest it’s going to rain soon, and the sun has nearly set completely. The solar fairy lights around our garden flicker to life along the path as I walk down the long stretch. The garden stretches all the way back, and my grandmother has filled it with beautiful flowers, trees, and bushes. I find my grandmother at the back of the garden, on a metal bench, wrapped in a pink knitted blanket, watching the sky above. Her sea-coloured blue eyes, the same as mine, fall on me, and her wrinkled face lights up with a loving smile. Her grey hair is messily pulled up into a bun, exotic, multicoloured flower slides cli
pped in, and she is barefoot even when it is a cold late summer day.
“Elle, darling. How was your day?”
I sigh, sitting next to her and crossing my boots. “Finley cheated on me with Daisy. You were right about him.”
Her hand picks up mine and she pats it twice. “I don’t like being right, dear. He was never good enough for you.”
I lean my head on the rotting shed behind the bench. “How did you meet this one true love of your life you tell me about? How did you know you loved him?”
She sadly smiles at me, looking away after a moment. “You simply know when you meet the one who will turn your life upside down. I knew because I couldn’t stand your grandad. He was arrogant, annoying, and always two steps behind me. He drove me around the bend most of the time. But one day I realised it wasn’t that I hated him, that I loved him, and I didn’t want him to ever stop annoying me. We built a life together, had your mother, and we were happy until his stupid heart packed out on me. Typical. Men always leave first.”
I smile at her, enjoying her story. “I don’t think I ever cared about Finley all that much.”
“I know, dear. That’s why you are allowed to feel sorry for yourself tonight, and tomorrow you’re going to face the world with a smile. He isn’t worth crying over. When you meet the man that is, you won’t ever be able to move on. You will just exist.”
For a moment, I see her sorrow, and in a blink, she hides it. I’m all my grandmother has left now everyone else is dead, and sometimes I think I’m lucky I don’t remember my parents or grandfather. I don’t have to mourn them like she does. I change the subject, as I don’t want to upset her. “Are you going out tonight?”
She stands up. “Of course. Dorris needs her ass kicked at bingo. If I don’t go, who else would put her in her place?”
I chuckle, standing up and linking my arm through hers as we walk back to the house. “I’m going to curl up on the sofa, watch some disgustingly cheesy movie about love, and eat chocolate ice cream, because that will make me feel better.”
My grandmother kisses the side of my head. “Leave some ice cream for me, dear. When I’m back, we can share and talk shit about Finley.”
I laugh, breathing in how she smells like mint and garden herbs, which makes me relax. This is home and I’ll miss it, but I’m ready to get out and see the world.
A few hours later, I curl up on the sofa after my grandmother has gone out and turn on the TV to search for a good movie. I just pop open the lid of my chocolate ice cream when there is a frantic banging on the front door. I groan, putting down the tub as the banging continues. I know exactly who it is. Finley knows when my grandmother goes out to bingo, as it’s usually our time alone. I unlock the door, intending to tell him to piss off, but he barges in without asking. I slam the door shut behind him.
“You’re interrupting my ice cream and crappy movie. What do you want?”
Finley runs his hand through his hair, and I smell the alcohol on him. Great, he is drunk. “To talk to you. You have to give me another chance. You just have to let me fix us. I love you so much.”
I roll my eyes, going back to the door to open it, but he grabs my arm to stop me. He’s always been a bit grabby when he’s had a drink, and considering he’s twice the size of me, I can’t do much as he pulls me away from the door and back into the living room. For the first time, I realise that I should not have opened the door to him. “Let me go, Finley, and go home. We can talk when you’re sober.”
“No,” he angrily snaps, tugging me against his body. “Look, you just need to listen to me. She kissed me and then one thing led to another. I was just horny and stupid, but I love you. You have to forgive me, Elle.”
I try to pull myself away from him, but his grip is iron-tight, borderline painful. “No, I don’t. We can talk tomorrow, Finley. Let me go.”
Instead of letting me go, his thick hand wraps around my throat as he tries to kiss me, and I panic, trying to push him away. My voice comes out frantic, and I scream, “Let me go!”
Finley doesn’t listen, pushing me backwards towards the sofa, kissing my cheek and mumbling about loving me. Dread pools in my stomach as I struggle in his arms, trying to get away and fearing what will happen if I can’t. Dating Finley was a big mistake, but I was never scared of him until now. I manage to lift my leg and I knee him hard, making him groan in pain and let me go. He trips on the sofa, falling to his knees and cupping his balls. “What the hell is wrong with you? Get out of my house and don’t come back!”
He glances up, and the look he gives me sends chills down my spine. He’s going to hurt me for that. “No, I’m going to make you listen to me. You’re mine, Ellelin, and we are not breaking up!”
I back away towards the kitchen, knowing I’m going to have to leave and run. He is drunk, so I have a good chance of escaping through the garden if I run fast. At least if I scream outside, my neighbours will come and see what is happening.
I hear the back door unlock, and my shoulders sag in relief. My grandmother’s back from bingo early, and maybe the shock of seeing her will make Finley leave. Finley rises to his feet as I stumble away, and he pauses, looking over my shoulder to the kitchen. All the colour leaves his face. A shocked scream rips out of my throat as a silver dagger swiftly flies past my cheek and slams into his chest, blood spraying across the carpet between us. His scream is bloodcurdling and terrible, as I freeze in shock. Red hot fire spreads out from the dagger, burning him so quickly that, within seconds, he’s nothing but ash falling softly on the blood-stained carpet. The dagger falls with a thud, and my scream dies away as I turn around slowly.
My heart pounds in my chest as I face the four massive men standing in my tiny kitchen. The man in the middle lowers his hand, smiling at me through waves of shiny thick black hair as his red, fiery eyes meet mine.